133 — I can finally breathe.

“Good morning, Miss O’Neil.” An employee greets me with a smile as soon as she notices me approaching. Her bright, expectant eyes are unlike any other welcome I’ve imagined receiving throughout my work at the company.
I’m used to people keeping a distance, restricting their words only to the politeness required for the job, nothing more. However, this is the fourth time someone has greeted me in this way today.
That makes me really feel the impact of Laura’s resignation, of the exposure of her true self. Somehow, it seems that people can see through all her lies now, just like a spell being undone, making everyone try so hard to make up for their faults, probably to correct their cold behavior and misconceptions with smiles and sweet words. Everyone’s attitude has changed towards me, but I don’t feel really good about it because I’m still the same person, acting the same way... I’m still acting like nothing happened, and I couldn’t notice everyone’s change of heart.
“Good morning!” I say, returning the smile, walking quickly as my eyes go to Laura’s desk, empty, with none of the belongings that used to be there. No fancy pen, nothing of the sort — and that makes me let out the breath I hadn’t even noticed I’d been holding.
Somehow, seeing that Laura is not there is actually a relief, a jolt of reality that I’m happy to take.
Honestly, I was afraid of getting here and realizing that I’m really stuck in a cycle, that things keep happening and repeating themselves like I’m in my own personal purgatory.
But now, *I can finally breathe.*
I felt trapped yesterday; I’m not going to lie. I feel like reliving that nightmare, the sensation of my eyes burning, my throat constricting, and the air disappearing from the face of the earth. And, of course, I could have stayed at home again, lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and waiting for the hours to pass while the clock just dragged on.
I could be alone, creating a thousand and one scenarios in my head, imagining endless possibilities, and could also cry my eyes out and think about how Mrs. Smith has the same kind of cancer as my mother, how fucked up that is, and how the universe seems to take pleasure in seeing me miserable... But that only would feed my anxiety and the fear that dominates my chest.
It’s not like I want to postpone and prolong this anguish of mine, but I haven’t found the right moment to say the things I want to yet. I feel like something is pulling me, and I wouldn’t be surprised if there were shackles around my ankles.
I truly don’t want to keep prolonging this, as my tongue even slipped out this morning! But Julian was late for work since he really meant it when he said he could have morning sex every day. In the end, I couldn’t bring myself to say it; there was no space for that.
However, when I think about how my mother just couldn’t tell my father, I feel compelled to tell Julian. Anxiety bubbles inside my veins, and I can’t lay my head on the pillow peacefully and sleep like nothing is happening.
This terrible feeling makes me wonder how my mother managed to live with this all these years... how sad and guilty she must have felt. I keep this information just for myself for one day — imagine her who lived this secret her entire life.
But somehow, I want it to be something special. I don’t want just to throw everything I feel at Julian and tell him I’m pregnant and expect him to take damage control measures. It’s our child, and I want it to be special…
However, I can’t keep extending this. I don’t even think I can handle this info all by myself... That’s why I’m determined to invite him to lunch at a nice restaurant and finally say those words stuck in my throat. I want to see his reaction, whatever it may be. I’m ready for it — at least, I think I am.
I’m putting my bag on the table, getting ready to sit down when the Manager appears right behind my partition, raising his palm to stop me and saying, “You don’t even have to sit down.”
My confused expression gives me away, but he says broadly, looking at everyone, “All the department has been called into a conference. Everyone go to Meeting Room 7.”
“What’s it about, do you know?” I ask with some worry, and the Manager’s disdainful look makes me freeze.
“If you don’t know, how could I?” He huffs, making me frown slowly, and he just ignores it and moves on, like all the employees, who get up and immediately head down the long corridor.
Gosh, why is this man being so rude? It seems that the Manager thinks my life is a drama and that I should leave my personal life outside these walls, but what can I do when none of it was my choice? I didn’t want to be involved in this mess that Laura and her friends got me into, and it’s certainly not my fault that he’s overworked now!
I sigh deeply and follow, feeling my heart beat even faster. My stomach is twitching, and I find myself putting my hand on my stomach, trying to calm my nausea somehow.
My steady footsteps quickly lead me to the meeting room, and as soon as I enter, my heart jumps into my throat. My father and Julian are there — both in a perfect suit and not a hair out of place. The atmosphere around them is tense, so serious that it could be palpable. I swallow hard as my eyes meet Julian’s, a few shades darker than usual, and he gives me a subtle smile that brings a chill to my chest.
We all sit down, and I grip my blouse tightly under the table. Everyone remains silent, waiting for the meeting to begin, which, fortunately, doesn’t take long. My father soon says, *“Good morning,”* and everyone follows in together, replying, “Good morning, Mr. O’Neil.”
“Thank you for coming. As you know, we’ve been going through a lot of changes, both positive and not-so-positive. With the departure of some employees, we open vacancies to replace those who have left us, and we will also be forming new teams to keep up with the company’s growth. The change we are making is intense but necessary for our development... Which brings us to why you have been called here today.”
Anxiety bubbles through my veins, and I find myself biting my lip nervously; this simple act seems to get Julian’s attention because he discreetly brushes his thumb against his own mouth, his eyes locked on mine, like saying, stop biting, girl... Huh, I can actually imagine his amused tone telling me that.
“A year ago, Julian Adams became Project Director, to have more in-depth contact with the processes and better understand our employees and, of course, to give me a bit more work,” Dad says, and everyone laughs softly, but I can’t laugh. Indeed, it has always been quite a mystery to me why Julian leaves his position as Vice President. And now I wonder if that’s all the reason.
“But now, he has fulfilled his mission and done an incredible job in the team. Thanks to him, we know where to improve and how we could become more efficient and do a better job for our clients and also for our employees. We care about each of you and want you to be a part of J’O Tech’s new era.”
They look at each other, and, with a nod, Dad makes room for Julian to take over the meeting, saying in a voice calm but serious enough to make a girl next to me swallow hard.
“I’m taking over again as Vice President.” He says, looking directly into my eyes, and I feel like the air has been stolen from my lungs. However, our eye contact only lasted a moment because he quickly passed his gaze to the other employees. “It’s been a great experience spending the last year with the team, but I can’t leave my chair empty for long... So that’s why a new Project Director will be chosen to be at my place here... But not in a conventional way; I will not appoint one person to replace me… Instead, we brought *three.”*
People look at each other but don’t dare whisper; I see confusion and surprise on their faces, and I even notice the Manager frowning, not seeing to like what Julian says at all.
“Three names stand out in the team, so we have chosen them. Excellence, agility, creativity, commitment... These three people are very good at what they do, but we can’t choose just based on these abilities.” Julian pauses, smiling softly. “We need to see your ability to lead, to resolve conflicts, to inspire people. We need a leader who will keep pushing the company forward.”
He turns to the screen behind him and presses a button on the small control that disappears into his big hand. Three names appear, and my heart immediately speeds up, pounding exactly in my throat.
ㅤ
**ROY BURNS**
**SARAH WELLS**
**ANGELEE O’NEIL**
ㅤ
Wait, my name…
Is that my name next to Sarah’s and the Manager’s?
“After careful selection, these three names were chosen for promotion,” Julian says, turning his attention to the employees — *to me.* “You three have already done your best; this is the fruit of your own efforts... And now, you need to prove that you are capable of taking over this department.” These last words, Julian says, looking straight into my eyes.