45 — Out of time
“Grace!” I enter the elevator and notice how she forces a smile on her surprised face.
“You're here so early, Angel! Your hard work on this project is really admirable-”
“About yesterday-” I cut her off, I don't have time for small talk. The elevator is going up, and this needs to be over before the doors open. “Where were you?”
“What do you mean?” She raises her eyebrows, and her innocent tone shivers my chest.
“Your message. You invited me to a club.” I insist, swallowing dry.
“Oh, yeah… Those friends of mine are really little devils…. I can't believe they meant to tease me like that! You could have also said something to me when you saw the address… I mean, when I got there and saw it…. I realized they were playing with me.” She says with a giggle that makes me shudder slightly, “Then they took me to a real club. A normal one.”
“Why didn't you tell me?” I shrug, feeling embarrassed.
“I didn't know you were going.” Grace answers me innocently, blinking with eyes so crystal clear they make me hold my breath.
“What? I asked you to send me the time and address-”
“I mean, how would I know? You didn't say anything else after that… I thought you weren't interested.” She smiles brightly, “But that's okay, no hard feelings. You probably had other things to do, right?”
I open my mouth to answer her, but my voice is cut off by the elevator doors opening.
Grace is getting out when she looks over her shoulder and adds, “We can hang out next time… I promise it won't be a prank again! Hahaha, these friends of mine… Little devils, they had me fooled completely…”
… The doors close.
I don't take a step… and don't make any mention of pressing the next button… I just stagger, leaning against the metal wall, and sigh deeply.
*What the actual fuck?*
***
That Jackson guy apparently took the post off, and there haven't been new ones. Still, everyone is talking about those damn pictures. Honestly, it's nothing really embarrassing…. Just a billionaire's daughter joining a club for people with eccentric tastes… a girl who, until recently, was in a solid relationship.
Of course, I'm the hottest topic of the moment.
I don't let it bother me and focus on the work that needs to be done by Thursday because Friday is the presentation day. Even though I'm Julian's assistant, a lot of extra work is being pushed onto me… which I honestly don't see as a problem, especially in these circumstances.
My shoulders hurt from sitting down for a long time, and my forehead looks wrinkled from frowning a lot. But when the day is over, I'm so tired that I could sleep in the chair and wouldn't feel bad about it.
My phone rings, drawing my eyes to the screen.
It's 6:12 pm, no wonder I feel so terrible…. Then my eyes are drawn to the name of the contact who is calling me-
**DADDY.**
*Oh, no…*
I swallow dry and reach for my phone with trembling hands.
Then I pick it up, fearfully bringing the phone to my ear, “Hi, Dad.”
“Angelee, is Julian being a bad influence?”
I choke, covering my mouth as I cough desperately…
“Why this all of a sudden?” I ask loudly, in a high-pitched voice, feeling my heart hammering in my throat….
“He took you to that club, didn't he? I should have known he was not a good influence… I mean, I told him to distract you, but didn't expect him to go that far.”
*You have no idea, Dad.*
“No… it's not Julian's fault.” I say, clearing my throat, and looking around to make sure I'm really alone.
“Are you trying to defend him?” His voice sounds suspicious.
“No, not at all. It's just the truth… I didn't know Julian visits this kind of club.” I sigh deeply, rubbing my burning throat, “You saw the posting on the forum, didn't you?”
“I didn't see it directly, but I heard about it. I asked them to track down the person who did it.”
“Okay, thanks,” I murmur, allowing silence to fall between us for a few moments. It's oddly comforting… it reminds me of when we were strangers who wanted to know about each other but didn't know where to start.
Now, we don't seem to know how to start again.
“I'm coming home soon, sweetheart.” He finally says, but in a low, caring tone, “I miss you.”
“I miss you too,” I murmur, leaning my head back against the chair.
“You know you can trust me, right?”
I feel my eyes fill with tears and I nod, even though I know he's unable to see me.
“You can tell me what's going on.” He says softly, waiting in silence for my words.
I sigh deeply… I won't be able to keep the details of what happened from my father secret, and honestly, I'm sick of avoiding him, worried about his reaction. I'm aware he liked Eric, but I can't keep it a secret for too long… And even if I didn't think about it too much, it's possible that Eric actually followed me to the club.
“Dad… Eric and I break up.”
He takes a few moments to answer me as if surprised, “What did he do?”
I bite my lips.
“What did that little shit do?” He pauses, and before I can tell him, he lets out a loud, deep sigh. “Oh, it's about Laura, isn't it? Don't tell me he cheated on you with her-”
“Yeah. Exactly.” I sigh too. It's funny how we exhale air tiredly or angrily so similarly… It's like a perfect copy in daughter shape.
“Honey… I'm so sorry.”
“I'm fine… I mean, it was really hard to deal with at first, but…” *Julian helped me find myself… to be strong and endure everything.*
Of course, I can't say any of that — I would really give myself away if I said this.
“But I'm fine now.” That's all I say, trying to suppress the silly smile that rises to my lips.
“After they approve the project, I'll come home.”
I feel my heart pounding hard… so hard it makes my chest hurt.
My father is coming back, and I can't help but feel that my time as a friend with benefits with Julian is running out. It causes me a sudden sadness… a pain that spreads through my chest.
We’re out of time.
“Okay, Daddy.” I say witheringly, with my throat constricting.
“Are you home?” He asks, probably trying to change the subject because he senses I'm getting sad.
“No… I'm still at the office, leaving now.”
“Okay, sweetheart. I'll talk to you later, then.”
“Yeah… bye.” — I hang up the phone, sinking into the chair, closing my eyes tightly. And I allow myself to stay in silence for a few moments, with my eyes closed, sinking deep into my conflicting thoughts, trying not to feel sad about the inevitable end.
I mean… I knew we couldn't go on like this forever. There's no such thing as forever; eventually, things come to an end. It's like that with life, too. Even if you mold yourself, strive and really fight for something, everything is absolutely temporary.
I know that.
I've always known that.
Still… I don't want it to end.
I don't want to go back over the line we crossed.
Julian has gotten so far into my head that I can smell him in the breeze coming in through the window, on my sheet, on my skin. Even now, just thinking about these things, I can smell him-
“Don't you think you should be going home, girl?” I hear Julian's voice close, so close it makes me open my eyes suddenly and squinch in my chair….
He's standing behind me, but his hands are resting on the table, encircling my body completely. I don't move, too mesmerized by the way his intense gaze travels to my lips.
“Shouldn't you be going home too?”
“Yeah… we're the last ones here.” Julian says slowly, bringing his hands up to my face, and stroking it gently with his warm hand. And I can't help but close my eyes again, snuggling into his touch….
I don't want to go back to the way we were, Julian.
I don't want to turn around and go back to where we started…
But if that's inevitably going to happen, I want to enjoy it until the end.