145 — “Sorry for taking so long.”

*Is it good to see me again?*
I swallow these words with resentment all over my face...
I’m frozen, speechless, shaking.
But Mrs. Smith cuts the tension with her sweet voice, and I feel like I can breathe again, “Angelee, darling, you’ve come!”
She points to the chair Eric has pulled out and still stands, waiting for me to sit down. “Sit down! We’ve only just arrived, but I made sure you were next to me...”
I look at Eric with sharp eyes but sigh, giving up. I thank the maitre d’ quietly and try my best to smile as I force my feet to follow my ex-boyfriend, even though my instinct and every part of my body are screaming at me to run as fast as possible.
Despite this, I swallow my pride and anger and sit down, closing my eyes as he pushes my chair back and turns around, sitting back down in his seat — right in front of me.
Of all possible places, Eric had to be on the other side of Mrs. Smith. Why didn’t he leave this seat for his father? Well, I can imagine the answer.
I try to ignore it, touching Mrs. Smith’s hand as I say, “Happy birthday, Mrs. Smith!”
“Oh, dear...” She takes my hand and squeezes it gently, drawing my eyes to her lifeless face. Her lips look pale... no, it’s her whole face, like there’s no trace of pink on her cheeks. “I’m so glad you’re here... I didn’t think you’d come, considering what my son did to you.”
I glance over at Eric, who is visibly sad, his shoulders slumped and his gaze downcast... but at his mention, he lifts his face, and our eyes meet at that moment.
I confess... I don’t like the feeling of being under his gaze. I don’t like the way he’s looking at me now, like... *like he’s sorry.*
“He told me the whole truth.” Mrs. Smith looks annoyed, clearing her throat and lowering her voice. “At least he had the decency.”
“Mom...” Eric begins, but she raises her hand, silencing him right away. Her furious eyes land on him, so sharp they would cut him if they could.
“Eric, what did you do... did you even think about how Angelee would feel?” She sighs and picks up the closed fan. “A man needs to honor his family, the woman he loves... otherwise, how can we women trust you? How are we supposed to forgive you when you understand so little of a woman’s heart?”
Mrs. Smith’s words cause me a certain discomfort, and I shift restlessly in my chair, my heart racing.
“I’m sick, Eric, and I only had a dream...” She purses her lips, sniffling, her eyes brimming with tears as they fall on me. “It was seeing Angelee in a wedding dress...”
An absurd pain runs through my chest as I think of my mother... She would like to see that. And the fact that my mother will never get to meet my child *kills me inside.*
My eyes ache even more, and I turn my face away, trying to hide my sad expression as I look at the other guests, those familiar faces. Mr. Smith, one of Mrs. Smith’s sisters, her husband and three children, and the other sister... I recognize these women; they’re the same ones who talked about the poor bride who didn’t marry as a virgin and was cursed behind her back, receiving smiles at the facade — just like they do now.
*They’re smiling at me.*
Smiles that I’ve worked so hard to earn, but now I see that they’re empty and mean nothing... they never did. They would never be sincere, would they? The fact that I’m here after being betrayed by one of them, and they’re still smiling at me like everything is normal... like nothing happened...
“I’m sorry, Mom...” Eric turns to me, crawling over my skin. “I’m sorry, honey...”
Honey? Why does he keep calling me that?
I stir restlessly again, and my hand shakes. Mrs. Smith holds my hand tighter, preventing me from moving it or pulling it away. I frown, glancing at her with surprise and confusion.
“When I confronted Eric about the truth, he told me how it happened.” Mrs. Smith says in a soft voice. “He told me the whole story... And no wonder you were so hurt... A mistake like that is painful... it hurts our soul.”
“A mistake?” I blink a few times, surprised and even slightly offended. Of course, Eric twisted the whole story so it wouldn’t come out so wrong... he’s already tried to do that to me; he wanted to make me feel sorry for how he couldn’t control his urges.
But not this time... I won’t let him deceive his own mother.
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Smith, but I don’t consider Eric’s actions to be a *mistake.* He knew what he was doing when he slept with my best friend. He *chose* that.”
“That proves he’s a fool.” She shakes her head in disapproval. “Men are fools... they don’t think with the right head. We women are the smart ones. Without us... what would become of them?”
I don’t like where the conversation is going... I don’t like her speech because, even without meaning to, she blames women for their partners’ character flaws.
But that’s nothing new, right? I should be used to it. I’ve swallowed many of these words hard and covered my ears before... why not now?
Why am I letting it bother me?
I take a deep breath and try to pull my hand away gently, but Mrs. Smith holds on even tighter, kneading my fingers, even surprising me with how much strength she has left.
“But Eric was wrong to risk what you two have. My son was irresponsible, and I apologize for that.” Mrs. Smith’s words are like punches to my chest... punches that take my breath away. “In the months you’ve been apart... He’s done a lot of thinking... You have, haven’t you, Eric?”
“Yes,” Eric says, and even though I fight it, my eyes are drawn to him. “Angel, I’ve really thought about it... what I’ve done, this time we’ve been apart... I’ve realized how much you mean to me... how much I love you.”
I want to throw up.
I try to pull my hand away once more, now a little more abruptly, but Mrs. Smith’s grip doesn’t waver.
“I’m being honest, with all my heart.” Eric looks me straight in the eye, and all I can feel is disgust... so much so that my eyes are blurred with tears of anger and resentment. “I still love you, Angel... I’ve always loved you, ever since I first saw you in the college courtyard... I still remember the white T-shirt you wore, the smile that made me think of you for the rest of the day.”
“Stop it,” I mumble between my teeth, but low and shaky, unable to raise my voice because my throat is too tight.
“Please, Angel... We’ve been together for four years. I know you still love me... there’s no way a few months apart can erase what we had and felt.”
I pull my hand hard, and this time, Mrs. Smith lets go, and my arm bumps into the back of the chair. I frown, looking at Eric with contempt.
“You can’t be serious-”
“He’s being honest.” Mrs. Smith says, now touching my face — a movement so discreet that I only notice when I feel her cold palm against my cheek, bringing a shiver down my spine. “We all love you, darling, with all our hearts. You’re the daughter I never had, and it saddens me to see you two suffering so much over something so silly.”
“Silly?” The word slips through my lips like a cruel realization... “Mrs. Smith, your son *betrayed* me. I heard... I saw it with my own two eyes! And I know it wasn’t once or twice... He’s been doing it for years!”
I cast a sharp glance at Eric, who looks genuinely surprised; I’m sure he didn’t expect me to discover just how deep the hole in his soul is. “So it’s not something *silly*, Mrs. Smith... or as simple as he makes it sound.”
“Oh, dear...” She moves her hand away slowly, placing it on my shoulder this time. “I can see how hurt you are-”
“I’m not hurt.” I slowly move my shoulder in one subtle movement. “Eric and I broke up because he cheated on me. That’s not some kind of mistake... he didn’t think about me when he decided to sleep around.”
“I told you it was only that one time, Angel.” He purses his lips, his blue eyes glistening with tears that seem very real, but there’s no way they could be... If Eric hadn’t been caught, he wouldn’t be sorry right now. His pain is not because he let me down but because everyone knows what he did.
He looks like he’s about to say something else but pauses and thinks carefully, sealing his lips for a few moments, swallowing the words he intended to let slip out loud.
Lowering his gaze, Eric closes his eyes and runs his hand over his face.
“I don’t want to fight, not today...” His voice comes out almost in a whisper. “Today should be a special day. But you know, it’s not easy for me to see you and know that I’ve screwed everything up...”
I look away, unable to continue looking at him.
*I want to get out of here.*
My hands search for my bag slowly, and my fingers pull at the zipper in a careful movement so that they don’t notice my intention.
“I thought that if God gave me a chance to make amends for what I’ve done, I’d take it, no matter what.” Eric continues to say, but I don’t pay him any mind... I just slide my fingers into my bag and pick up my phone, which lights up and reveals the wallpaper — a picture of my mother, my sweet mother... “And with my mother’s blessing today, I’m trying, Angel... I want to get you back...”
I raise my startled eyes, looking at Mrs. Smith with confusion, surprise, and sadness...
“What does this mean?” My trembling hands let go of the phone, unable to hold anything at the moment. “You...”
“I love you both... I don’t want to leave this world knowing that you two aren’t together.” Mrs. Smith gives me a sad smile. “He promised me he wouldn’t do it again.”
Eric nods, and I feel nausea rise in my throat.
“People make mistakes... *men cheat.* And even if he did all that... it was you who held his heart, wasn’t it? In the end, it’s you Eric loves, not other women.”
No... I’m not hearing that...
It’s a nightmare.
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Smith... I think you’ve got something wrong.” My voice comes out shaky and a little louder than I’d like, but I force myself to stand up slowly, already moving away from them... “I just came to wish you a happy birthday... I have no intention of staying in something so...” The words trail off, and I struggle to at least add, *“This is no longer my place.”*
As soon as I stood up, Eric stood up abruptly as well, giving me a slight jolt and making my eyes widen. And as if time has slowed down, Eric kneels under one leg, already taking a small velvet box out of his pocket, opening it, and revealing a ring that I know well — it’s the one that used to be on Mrs. Smith’s finger.
“Angelee... I should have done this before; sorry for taking so long.”
No.
No, no...
“I know I’m late... But do you want to marry me?”