107 — I’ll never leave your side...

I didn’t have the heart to go home after that catastrophe. I knew that my father needed some time to get his head together since the way everything happened wasn’t the best. I needed some time, too... I think we all did.
I’ve been lying in Julian’s bed since I woke up. I feel weak as if my body is weighed down. I move from side to side, looking for a little more comfort that might ease my sadness, but even staring at an empty spot in the room, I keep remembering the moment I saw Julian on the floor and my father about to punch him. I don’t need to close my eyes; that scene has tormented me even when I’m awake.
Yes, I always knew that my crush on Julian wouldn’t please my father, and I tried to hide my feelings from everyone; after all, it was just an unrequited love... until he kissed me on my 19th birthday… Silly me, I thought things would change... But when we arrived at the penthouse in Madrid, my father was already there.
I still remember the quick strangeness that hung over us, the palpable tension in the air. I went to sleep with my body on fire and a million expectations made, only to wake up to the disappointment of a dream unfulfilled.
Julian acted as if nothing had happened and tried to treat me the same way, but I felt a distance between us. For the rest of the trip, I saw him going to clubs and arriving the next day with women’s perfumes impregnated on his skin. Up to that point, I knew Julian was a playboy, but I had never seen him behave like that. And when we returned home, it wasn’t long before a different woman came out of his apartment every day.
I won’t deny it. It hurt a lot... so much so that I decided to do the same as him and move on with someone else — and that’s how, two weeks after my birthday, I started dating Eric.
Now, here we are.
So, yeah... I knew my dad wouldn’t react well, but the way things turned out took me by surprise. Being carried away by strong emotions is not something my father would do, but I saw him lose control like never before. Like Julian, my father is a serious man. However, he doesn’t like to show emotions... He’s the kind of tough guy who seems cold on the outside but is an incredible person with a big heart, humble and generous.
Hah, honestly... This whole issue with my father and Julian has even made me forget for a moment about the plan to get Laura. I’m convinced that she’s the stalker, at least the person taking the photos. But my personal drama required special attention, and I haven’t contacted Tyler, even though he’s sent me a few messages asking about it, asking if I’m okay.
The truth is that dealing with this in the middle of Sunday, after such a bomb dropped on me last night, knowing that another one is coming the next day, is something that drains my strength. I feel exhausted, with no desire to get out of bed... and not only that, but my stomach is still terrible. I think the stress caused by last night is still taking its toll.
But now that I think about it, I didn’t handle that situation in the best way either. I was so scared and angry that I let my emotions speak for me.
It seems that both Julian and I are each other’s weak points.
I grumble, turn to the other side, and hug Julian’s pillow, smelling his comforting scent. Being able to fall asleep and wake up next to him is so good that I can imagine doing it for the rest of my days. I really am in love with him, and my feelings get deeper and deeper with time.
*How is it possible to love someone that much?*
“Are you awake?” Julian’s voice takes me by surprise, and I open my eyes, startled and slightly embarrassed to be snuggling into his pillow.
He smiles at me, holding two mugs as he slowly approaches, sitting on the edge of the bed, and I do the same, my face burning... Somehow, picking up the coffee and warming my hands on it is starting to become a routine.
I peek at his face, seeing his usual smile, but I know that although Julian is trying so hard to be strong, he’s also upset.
Usually, it’s like he doesn’t care so much about the world around him, or I could say that he simply takes life lightly. It’s rare to see him affected by anything, and maybe that’s why I’m so upset too.
“How are you feeling?” He asks slowly, tucking a lock of my hair behind my ear.
“A bit tired,” I confess, taking a sip and regretting it instantly because my stomach is twitching and bitter, even though it’s a delicious latte that I would normally drink in one big gulp. I down it slowly, looking at the drink.
“You’re probably stressed because of everything that’s going on.” Julian analyzes my face. “Have you had any news about the stalker’s plan?”
“Nothing yet. I haven’t looked on the forum, but I think that if something were going on, we’d know about it, just like the other times.”
“I checked with the security; he saw a woman with Laura’s features entering the club, using your name to do it,” Julian says slowly, catching my eye again. “She was there, Angel. So if there’s no photo...”
“She may have felt it was a trap.” I sigh, running my hand through my hair impatiently.
“Do you really think she’d be that clever? If she used your name to go to the club, I don’t think she’d see it as a trap.”
“Maybe she’s waiting for Monday to act.” Julian takes the mug from my hands, noticing that I’m not ready to start the day with coffee, which makes me feel guilty since he even brought it to the bed for me.
“Well, maybe she doesn’t want to harm her friend. Grace isn’t the main target, after all.”
“Loyalty means nothing to Laura. She just uses people and discards them when they’re no longer needed. She must find Grace useful if she’s keeping the girl by her side, but she hates losing and especially hates feeling that something is being taken away from her. Laura saw the kiss, I’m sure of it. If she’s the stalker, she won’t leave it alone... she’ll definitely try to destroy Grace’s reputation like she’s done to me.”
Julian sips his coffee thoughtfully.
“But what if she’s not the stalker?” He finally asks carefully.
“Then someone else is.” I pinch the top of my nose and massage my forehead. “Either way, it’ll be a victory... Grace won’t remain by Laura’s side, or she could act as a double agent. It’s not entirely a loss.”
“Tyler’s a smart guy, huh.” Julian looks around, lost, in some corner of the room. “I don’t trust him.”
“Are you sure you’re not just jealous?” I ask with a laugh, and he looks at me again, also with a playful smile on his lips.
“Maybe I am.” He leans in and gives me a light kiss, which makes some of my unease go away in a flash. “Anyway, you don’t have to worry; you’re not alone in this. Whether it’s on this subject or about your father.”
“I know.” I bring my hand up to his face and press our foreheads together, our breaths becoming one. “Thank you for always having my back.”
***
I’d like to keep putting off the inevitable, but as the hours go by, I feel distressed. I’ve been sick all day, with no desire to eat. In fact, my stomach seems to reject anything. I only remember feeling so much stress when my mother passed away or on her death anniversary, but that’s still a few weeks away.
Julian has also realized that I’m not well and has tried to make me better. He actually let me choose my cheesy movies, and he watched them all without complaint; that makes me sure that I’m really lucky to have him, and I’d be a fool to let him go again.
But I couldn’t prolong this situation with Daddy much longer. Even if I really wanted to run away from reality, I couldn’t. I can’t get any peace in my head knowing that my father is hurt... And that’s precisely why I decided to go home.
Outside, the sun is setting. I know I’ll have to face many other things the next day, but my biggest battle will start right now — facing my father.
I finally enter the apartment with fearful steps, inspecting my surroundings until I see him through the large glass wall of the balcony. My father is leaning against the railing, his back to me. His gaze seems to be lost in the horizon full of buildings, the sky beginning to show signs of the end of the season.
I approach slowly, with light steps, and a light breeze sways my hair as I stand in the balcony doorway, swallowing hard to call out to him, “Dad?”
He turns slowly towards me, staring at me with tired eyes. There are dark circles under it, and his pale expression makes me feel worse than I already did. My eyes water from seeing him so destroyed, from knowing that I’m the one who’s caused him so much despair.
“Dad...”
“Your pizza’s in the fridge.” He says slowly, and I purse my lips. “You couldn’t eat yesterday, could you? I’ve saved your favorite; you can take it if you’re hungry.”
I try to hold back the sob, but it escapes anyway. My vision is blurred by tears that I didn’t even notice coming. Even at a time like this, Dad is worried about something like this...?
Why am I surprised, anyway? He’s always been like this... Fighting for me, accepting me, never minding my open wounds that he worked so hard to heal.
He never turned his back on me...
And even now, *he’s looking at me.*
I can’t stop the tears from rolling, and I don’t even try... I just run towards him, hugging his body tightly, pressing my head against his chest, without even fearing rejection because I know no one in this world loves me as much as my father.
And he hugs me back, wrapping me in his arms, stroking my hair while sobs break out amidst these trembling words of mine that beg, “I’m sorry... I’m so sorry, Daddy.”
“It’s okay, sweetheart...” He says, stroking my hair, bringing me a feeling of familiarity, a nostalgia, a déjà vu. “I’m here. I’ll never leave your side... *never.”*