161 — Adams engagement

My father somehow looks different tonight. I can see feelings shining in his brown eyes, so similar to mine, and I can swear that it’s slightly wet with tears that he refuses to shed.
There’s not a hair out of place in the elegant hairstyle or a wrinkle in the extremely fancy blue suit. Although Dad and Julian have a few billion dollars in assets, they don’t show it off. Of course, there’s no denying that they live comfortably and have an extremely luxurious lifestyle, but beyond what money can buy, Father tries to enjoy the things he wants without prying eyes on what’s in his pockets. And maybe because Julian admires him so much, he also carries this light-hearted personality.
That’s why it’s such a surprise to be called into a restaurant like this now. It’s not the first time Dad has taken me to places like this, but every time, it feels like a first. My nerves get rattled, and my legs feel shaky. Even now, I feel a little overwhelmed, but there’s a good chill in my belly, like the fluttering of butterfly wings.
“You look as beautiful as ever, sweetheart,” Daddy says, then slowly lets go of my hand and points to the chair in front of him. “Please, sit down.”
Julian quickly gives my father a firm handshake and pulls out the chair for me in a gentlemanly gesture. As I snuggle close to the table, he turns around and sits next to me, with perfect etiquette.
“I’m sorry to call so suddenly. I know you’re not so used to places like this, but it’s a special occasion.” Dad says, looking at us both with an indecipherable expression. “My daughter deserves the best, after all.”
Julian snuggles a little closer, our shoulders almost touching, and even feeling his body a few inches away is surprisingly relaxing. The distinctive smell of his cologne that used to set my body on fire now brings me peace. I inhale deeply and try to hold it in my lungs as much as possible to intoxicate myself and calm my heart. And it works. Fortunately, I feel the tension go away as I slowly expel the air through my parted lips.
“You look amazing dressed up like that... the gala really suits you. We should make more excuses to show you off, Angel.” Dad says with a playful and prideful tone.
“Just what I was thinking,” Julian says, matching the mood, and they share a sincere, amused smile. There’s no tension in the way they look at each other, starting a new, relaxed conversation where they make me the main subject and turn my cheeks pink. My father loves to brag about the daughter he has, and Julian is enjoying being honest and saying everything that’s been on his mind for probably a long time.
We both had a long road full of curves, ups, and downs that felt like a labyrinth, never leading either forward or back... We just seemed to stop in the same place. But now, *we’re really walking to the future.*
Honestly, it’s refreshing to see Julian talking so lively about us to my father. It makes me wonder how long he’s held these truths in his heart and what a relief it must be to get them out of his throat.
The corner of Julian’s lips is discreetly raised, and there are small wrinkles at the corners of his green eyes that also seem to be smiling. Even looking at the side of his face, I can see the happiness beaming from his countenance, from his comfortable voice, in his low but genuine laugh.
He seems genuinely happy.
I move my eyes to my father and notice a pause between their amusing chat. There’s still laughter on Daddy’s lips, but his gentle eyes are on me. His wrinkles are even more evident, even though he looks young for a man in his forties.
“You know…” He starts, drawing Julian’s eyes too. “I can’t say I’m a role model when it comes to engagements, *but I was in one for a long time.”*
My father gestures to the waiter, who quickly approaches. I don’t pay any attention to the brief conversation unfolding in front of me; I just sink into my thoughts.
Julian’s hand reaches for my leg under the table, a caress that, although innocent, makes the butterflies in my stomach flutter harder.
As the waiter walks away, my father says again, “Do you remember the first time we had dinner together, Angelee?”
“Yes, how could I forget?” A silly smile springs to my lips. “You took me to an elderly couple’s restaurant in the suburbs, didn’t you?”
“Yes, *we* used to go there when we ran away from home sometimes.” My father gives a sly smile. “Jack loved the homemade food there, and I knew I had to take my daughter there... in such a special place.”
Julian’s hand trembles on my leg, and I cast a quick glance at his countenance, which, although still serene, now seems to be struggling to keep the remnants of a smile.
“Honestly, I wish we were there tonight. That place carries a lot of memories and meanings.” Daddy pauses, thoughtful. “Unfortunately, they closed a few years ago when the owners died. Their children each went their separate ways. They got married and had kids of their own. Eventually, they all built their own families, and the business closed off.”
I clutch my bag discreetly under the table, and perhaps Julian sensed my sudden discomfort because his hand slid up my long dress, up my knees to the middle of my thighs.
“So I chose the last place that has the best food in New York.” He gives a smile as he concludes and tugs his tie, loosening it a bit to ease the knot that’s probably tightening his throat.
“It’s not because you wanted to see us all dressed up?” I make a silly joke, drawing smiles from Julian and my father, hoping it will put them at ease for a moment.
“That too.” Daddy sighs, and he parts his lips to say something, but the waiter approaches, bringing a wine that, judging by the looks on the people’s faces around us, must be very special. “And, of course, for this vintage too.”
The waiter pours a glass for my father, who simply smells the wine, swirling the liquid around in the glass and closing his eyes to enjoy the fragrance. Then, the waiter pours a second glass, which Julian takes before it can be offered to me.
“No wine for her.” Julian says, attracting my father’s curious eyes, but he only adds with his eyes on the waiter, “Actually, we’d appreciate it if you could bring something else for my fiancée.”
Julian turns to me, stroking my thigh slowly. “What do you want to drink tonight, love?”
I turn to the waiter, suddenly shy at being called out so affectionately in front of other people — in front of my father. I clear my throat and ask the waiter, “A lemonade, please.”
After a brief bow and a promise to bring my drink quickly, the waiter exits, leaving us in a comfortable silence that is only interrupted by low voices around and soft classical music mixed with the light clink of cutlery.
But thankfully, it’s not long before my father’s voice cuts through the silence, with a slightly deeper tone than usual, “You two really are engaged.”
“Did you think I wasn’t serious?” Julian retorts, sniffing the wine with his eyes closed. “I hope you’re not regretting giving your blessing. You can’t take it back.”
“Do you think I’m that petty?” My father laughs quietly, relaxing his back on the chair and crossing his arms. “With my blessing or not, you’d do it anyway.”
“I won’t deny that.” Julian opens his sharp eyes and takes a sip of wine.
A long minute passes and my heart begins to race with a tension that has set in so quickly that I barely notice it.
I swallow hard, almost holding my breath, when Julian shrugs, “What vintage is that? You have better ones in your apartment.”
“You read my mind,” Daddy says thoughtfully, taking another long, concentrated sip, paying attention to the taste, which, I confess, is making my mouth drool with desire. “It’s a 2015 Chardonnay. They say it’s a good competitor, but nothing could beat the French wineries. I could mention a better Chardonnay from the same year that I have at home. I bought two bottles, had the pleasure of drinking one of them, and still remember the soft taste of peach and pineapple. It was worth the thirty thousand dollars, after all.”
Thirty thousand dollars? My eyes widen slightly, and I barely notice that they’re making the tension float, coming and going like thin air.
“This one is good, but...” Julian murmurs, also tasting it more carefully.
“Something’s *missing.*” My father adds, finding the words for Julian, who simply nods his head. “Sometimes, a good wine cannot be appreciated if tasted at the wrong time. You say that something is missing today, but it could be perfect in the future, at another time. The clock is not an enemy... Sometimes, it can be your greatest ally.”
Again, the silence seems longer than it really is. But I blink a few times and breathe a sigh of relief when the waiter brings my lemonade. I immediately drink it, cooling my throat and wetting my dry mouth.
“If I can be honest, I was worried.” My father finally says, catching my surprised eyes — and Julian’s too.
He keeps stroking my leg, his thumb sliding over my dress, and I find myself holding his hand.
“I’ve been engaged for years, so many that I don’t even know anymore. I didn’t count, honestly. It didn’t matter to me because it wasn’t for love. Weddings in our families are just business talk. Our parents choose the best fit for our family, just as their parents did before for them. In the world they live in, a world of old money and deep roots in pride, there are no such things as *marrying for love* or *marrying someone from a lower class.”*
I swallow hard, understanding what he means. My father’s family rejected my mother. I was *rejected* and treated like a bastard, which I can’t say I’m not, as they value blood and connections; it’s not surprising that they would deny a child born out of wedlock, the daughter of an orphan who worked as a waitress in Las Vegas clubs. They tried to buy our silence and succeeded for a long time. No wonder Dad still feels trapped.
“I may not have committed myself to love like you two, but I do know how this world works. I know what it means to be in high society as an O’Neil. And yes, I’ve given you both my blessing, but I can’t ignore reality. I won’t deceive you and embellish the truth. I see things as they really are, and my duty as a father is to secure my daughter’s position.” Daddy pauses, and I feel my heart racing, pulsing in my throat. “So tell me something, Julian....”
Suddenly, I’m so nervous that my body is shaking.
Julian stops caressing my thigh, his grip becoming firmer, as nervous as I am.
“Are you ready for what an *Adams engagement* means?”