149 — “Tell me yes...”

When Julian opens the door to the hotel room he has booked for our date, my heart tightens. The main suite of the most expensive hotel in New York is so majestic that I can see the starry sky the moment we set foot in it.
He enters the room, leaving me standing in the doorway with my feet frozen on the floor.
His expression has remained serious ever since he put me in his car and drove here. I smelled alcohol mixed in his cologne, but I didn’t dare say a word... In fact, my voice has been gone since I left that damn restaurant.
Now, I feel a screaming anxiety that makes me hold my breath.
Julian is standing with his back to me, running his hand over his face and up through his hair, in a deep silence that, heavens, *is making me so desperate that I can hear my own heart beating.*
Honestly, I feel terrible... I’ve been on the verge of tears ever since I heard all those hateful words... ever since I saw Mrs. Smith’s mask fall and found out she was using the disease that killed my mother to manipulate me. *For money!* She went so far as to fake something so terrible for the sake of money!
And even though it’s destroying me, I can’t let it ruin the night I’ve waited so long for... I can’t let these people stop me.
Still, even if I say so... I stand helplessly, with withered shoulders, watching as Julian walks away.
He sighs loudly, and this sound is just what was needed to crack me up. I get back my strength and force my legs to obey me.
I cross the room, approaching him slowly, but yet afraid to reach out and touch him because I know something is wrong...
*Something is deeply wrong.*
“Julian.” My voice comes out strangled but low, and it makes him shudder. I open my lips to say something else, but no other sound comes out.
He turns to me, allowing me to see his serious expression in the dim light. There are only the lights of the moon and the city entering through the window, yet I can see every detail of his face, the downward lips, the green eyes a few shades darker than usual. Intense. *Cold.*
I feel the tears sting my eyes, and I try to breathe deeply, even though no air seems to pass through my tight throat...
“You saw it, didn’t you?” I struggle to ask, even though I don’t need an answer. *I know he saw it...* He wouldn’t be like this if he hadn’t.
Still, I expect Julian to say something.
I hope to hear his voice, which always eases my chest.
Anything, no matter what it is.
Just one word... anything to cut through this torturous silence...
“Talk to me,” I beg with a choked voice, finally stretching out my hand toward him. “Please don’t treat me like this...”
Julian breathes deeply as my fingers touch his... while I try to intertwine them and hold his hand as tightly as I need.
My vision is blurred by the tears that have gathered there, but I fight them. I fight the sobs, the fear and despair that overwhelm me...
I just hold his hand.
“Julian...”
“Yes, I saw it.” He says, finally breaking the silence, but his tone isn’t what I wanted... I can feel how furious he is. Julian’s lowered eyebrows and the clenched teeth that make the muscles jump in his beard show me that he’s really angry right now. “Eric asked you to marry him.”
A heavy tear falls from my eye, getting lost in the distance between us. And when I close my eyes, many more follow it, wetting my eyelashes and my entire face, making me look even more pathetic.
Julian’s body moves, and I open my eyes in fright. I think he’s going to pull away or untie our hands, and I hush to say with a shaky voice, “I didn’t accept it! If I’d known this would happen, I...”
*I wouldn’t have gone there.*
I should never have gone to that damn place!
Julian takes two long strides that are enough to completely shorten the distance between us, intoxicating me with the smell of the alcohol and his cologne that has always, always awakened so many things in me.
“I didn’t accept-”
“I know.” His voice interrupts me and brings a shiver that runs up my spine and spreads over every inch of my skin. Julian’s shadows are covering me, hiding me from the light coming in through the window... but I can still see his intense eyes looking down at me, straight into mine. “I know you didn’t.”
“Then why...” My words are interrupted by a sob that I can’t hold back. I blink slowly, and more tears run down my face. “Why are you acting like this? Why are you *treating* me like this?”
Julian doesn’t say anything... He just lets go of my hand, making my heart rise into my throat, which was already too tight, and now doesn’t let me breathe.
I clutch my hands in his shirt, trying to stop him from pulling away or leaving me.
Despair is blinding me... or maybe it’s those tears that keep gathering in my eyes, even though I’m letting them go.
“Do you think I wanted this?” My voice comes out fast and desperate. “I didn’t want to-”
“I know.” I raise my watery eyes again to meet his, with my fingers gripping his shirt a little tighter. “I know that.”
Then why... *Why are you looking at me like that?*
Why does it feel like your heart has been ripped out of your chest?
Why do you look so angry?
“But another man knelt for you...” His hands reach for my head, holding my face so that his fingers tangle in my hair... And even through the tears, I can see the possessive glint that hides in his green eyes. “Another man got down on one knee for you *today.”*
My expression contorts in confusion, but I gasp when he brings his face close to mine, so close that our breaths are merging...
“I hate it.” He says between his teeth, squeezing my hair a little tighter, making me close my eyes again, with more tears rolling down my cheeks. “I really hate it.”
“I’m sorry.” My apology comes out low in a breathless whisper.
He shakes his head slowly, his strong grip holding my head still.
“I hate that someone else did that *before me.”*
I open my eyes in surprise and try to pull away to look at his expression, but Julian doesn’t let me move... His forehead rests against mine, and he tilts his face a little to the side...
“My mood really sucks right now...” He says in a husky voice, making me lift my face. “So, I’m sorry... I don’t think I can say the nice words I’ve planned right now.”
“Julian-”
“Marry me, Angelee.” His husky voice makes my heart skip a bit... “Marry me, babe.”
I breathe deeply, shuddering as he squeezes my hair tighter and brushes his lips against the corner of my mouth… “Wait...”
Julian’s fingers trailing up my arm, so light on my skin, brings a delicious tickle to my lower belly... as well as a warmth that spreads throughout my body.
“I waited long enough, and look what I got.” He finally reaches my shoulder and slides the strap of the dress down in a slow movement. “I should have done this before... I’m so fucking stupid.”
I’m so overwhelmed by the sensations he brings me that I just let out a sigh, blinking slowly, with the last remaining tears running down the same path as the others.
“I don’t want to wait any longer, Angelee.” He says slowly, now against my lips, moving his hand up to my neck, fitting it exactly under my jaw, while he makes sure his touch completely dominates me. “I want you to be mine, *completely mine...* I want the whole world to know that you’re mine... so that no other man dares try to steal you from me.”
I open my lips to answer him, but only sigh escapes through them. Honestly, I don’t know how this man can arouse such different feelings in me. Just a moment ago, I was crying my eyes out, so scared that he was going to leave me... But now, Julian is setting my body on fire, shivering my skin, and making me desperate for a kiss.
“Marry me.” His voice repeating those same words makes my heart skip a beat.
He smiles against my mouth, brushing his lips against mine before running his hand down my collarbone, back to my shoulder, and down my arm, taking the other strap of my dress with him...
“I want you to be my wife.”
I take another deep breath.
Is Julian really serious?
Does he really want to marry me?
“I love you so damn much...” He gives me a light kiss, nibbling my lips with his tooth, and I stick my tongue out, looking for a gap that will allow me to kiss him...
But Julian pulls his face away, making me swallow a grunt of dissatisfaction.
“I don’t think I can take something like that again... I’m really going mad.”
I moisten my lips, opening my eyes... And the moment I meet his green ones, I can see lust shining there, a deep desire that goes beyond flesh... a desire that shows itself in an urge to pull the dress down over my hips, making it fall easily to my feet.
“I’m on the edge of sanity, Angelee... Look what you do to me... I’m completely crazy about you.”
Julian runs his fingers up my belly, then caresses it with his rough palm, moving up to the middle of my bare breasts, stopping where my heart beats so desperately.
“Your body, your heart...” His hand moves a little further, now cradling my throat. “I want everything you can give me... *everything.”*
I sigh as Julian lets go of my hair, and it falls down my bare back. I keep my head tilted, my chin up, shivering at the feel of his warm breath now against my neck, while his hands reach for my waist, gripping it tightly, just the way he knows I like it.
“Marry me, Angelee,” Julian says huskily against my throat, brushing his lips across my collarbone and moving it down slowly... leaving a trail of wet kisses that make me hold my breath as they pass dangerously close to my nipple.
I want to answer him... I want to say yes, *I want to marry him,* but I can’t accept before I let him know that I’m pregnant — that he’ll be a father.
But when his lips reach my belly, and his tongue flicks there, I let a low moan escape instead of the words I’ve waited so long to say.
I look directly at Julian, who is under one knee, with his tongue running across my skin and making my entrance wet.
“Be my wife, babe... Don’t keep your pretty mouth shut. I want to hear you say it. Tell me yes.”
Julian’s eyes shine with lust as he slides his hand up my thigh, digging his fingers into my smooth skin, threatening to pull them apart, while his other hand searches for the strap of my thin panties.
“If you don’t want to accept it, that’s fine...” Julian sticks out his tongue and licks over the cloth, exactly on my clit, making me throw my head back. “I just need to convince you.”