148 — I won’t forgive you.

Lies dance with my pain, along with the shards of things that have broken inside me.
I’m shattered...
But this time, I want to cut those who left me like this.
When I stop next to Mrs. Smith, she coughs — no, she pretends to cough. I grip the hold of the bag tightly, meeting her eyes, which turn confused when they meet my expression that, I’m sure, isn’t the best of them.
“Darling-”
*“Bullshit.”* I interrupt her, with my voice shaky and loud, attracting the eyes of everyone around me, especially Eric’s, which widen with genuine surprise. “Do you want to know, Mrs. Smith? I wondered who Eric was pulling this poor character on... But now I see there’s someone much worse than him... and that’s quite shocking.”
“Angelee, darling-”
“Don’t call me *darling!”* I retort louder, raising my hand to interrupt her. “Actually, don’t call my name... I’m disgusted by you.”
I move my eyes at each of them, seeing that they finally aren’t smiling. “Disgusted by *all of you.”*
“Angelee,” Eric says, standing up. “Wait-”
“Wait for what? For you make another one of your excuses? Try to twist reality? You know... you and Laura have a lot in common... Instead of getting down on your knees in front of me and saying those empty words, why don’t you ask her to marry you?” I give a resentful, forced laugh and feel my stomach churn. “Oh, that’s right... You didn’t ask her because she doesn’t have money! That’s all you care about, anyway!”
Mrs. Smith’s eyes widen in realization. She understands that I overheard the conversation, and her surprise quickly disappears, giving place to a rigid expression and cold eyes that match the tone I heard earlier.
Really, there’s no mistake...
The people around me were wearing masks all this time, and now I see their true selves.
“I’m tired of it!” I slam my closed fist against my forehead, clutching the strap of my bag tighter. “Pretending all this time... How can you sleep at night?” My eyes stare straight into the eyes of the woman I no longer recognize. “How do *you* sleep at night?”
She doesn’t open her lips to answer me, perhaps because I keep pouring all my frustration, my anger, and my sadness without caring that people are watching my breakdown.
“You knew that my mother died of cancer... you knew how much it hurt me! And yet, you chose to pretend to have the same disease just to get your hands on money?”
Mrs. Smith raises her eyebrows, and her expression doesn’t look the least bit sorry — which makes me even angrier.
Her silence makes me blinded with rage, so much so that I open my purse and take out all the dollar bills inside, throwing them straight in her face.
The woman opens her lips, and a surprised sigh escapes through them, but this time, I don’t let her speak because I’m quicker to add, “Is that money you want? Well, take it and put it to good use! Maybe you’ll use it to pay the bill? If you cry the same fake tears for the owner and cough up that fake blood, I think he’ll take pity and give you a discount!”
“How dare you!” Mrs. Smith raises her voice and starts to get up, but I take a step towards her with my finger pointed at her, forcing her to sit back down.
“How dare you! You used someone else’s pain!” I spit out those bitter words. “You pretended to be sick! Don’t you know how disgusting that is? What you’ve done... I hope you pay for it.”
I don’t want to say another word; I’m tired and about to cry.
I’ve had enough... I really just want to leave.
But my feet freeze to the floor, and I look over my shoulder, staring directly at this twisted woman...
“You know, Mrs. Smith... You wanted Eric to get me pregnant so badly... In the end, I really did, but the father isn’t your son.” I smile at her pale expression, which I’m now sure is real. “The father of my child is a real man... Something you never raised your son to be. And I’d appreciate it if you stayed away from my family from now on. If you need money, you can send Eric after another rich, needy young heir.”
Her expression becomes stern, and with that, I turn away, walking off, sure that curious eyes are following me.
I’m hurrying through the door to the outside, already looking for Julian, when a hand on my arm makes my body spin and bump into a chest. Smelling this cologne up close again is sickening, so I push him hard, adding a lot of distance between us.
I stagger backward, my tiny heels wobbling and threatening to break and twist my ankles.
A heavy tear escapes from my eye and gets lost on the sidewalk, yet I wipe my face and scratch my eyes, not caring how messy my makeup will be at the end of the night.
“Angelee!” Eric calls out, grabbing my arm again and pulling me against his body. “Can you hear me out?”
“Why?” I shout, anger dominating my mind. “Do you have any fucking idea what you’re doing?”
His eyes widen slightly at hearing me curse, and I confess that this brings a wry laugh that I can’t help, as well as the many others that slide across my tongue — “Oh, yes, I can swear... *Fuck, shit, dick, cock, pussy!* Are you satisfied, you *asshole?* I can expand my vocabulary and get really creative if you want!”
“Stop saying things like that, it’s not like you-”
*“It is!* It’s like me, Eric... You don’t know anything about me! And apparently, I don’t know about you since you’re a *motherfucker* and your mother’s a *cunt-”*
Eric grabs my arms, his fingers digging painfully into my skin as he pulls me against his body, gluing me to his chest. The people around us seem oblivious to what’s going on, even though they give me ugly looks when they hear a lady say such bad words...
“Can you control yourself?” Eric says between his teeth, gripping my skin even more painfully, to the point of marking his fingers. “Please, Angelee, just listen to what I have to say!”
“I’ve listened to your bullshit for long enough, Eric,” I say with a smile on my face but a bitter one that I force myself to maintain. “What else do you have to say?”
He looks at my lips, then back into my eyes. His grip doesn’t soften, but his expression looks conflicted, with apparently real feelings for the first time in who knows how long.
“I meant it,” Eric says, at last, moistening his lips, looking me straight in the eye. “I may be a piece of shit who made you suffer, but I really meant it... I love you.”
“Love? Do you even love yourself, Eric?” I shake my head. “You were with me for money... What does that make you? *A whore?”*
Eric closes his eyes, dissatisfied... “Please, if you’re doing this to provoke me, you can stop... I get it.”
“No, Eric, you don’t seem to understand!” I try to push him again, but this time, he’s firmly in place. “My world doesn’t spin around you!”
“Come on, Angel... I’m apologizing. I’m telling you that I love you... What more do I need to do to make you forgive me?”
“I won’t forgive you — I won’t ease your conscience, and I won’t come back to you.” I try to break free of his grip, but it also seems to be in vain.
“You’re playing hard to get, but I can see right through you.” He smirks, with one of his hands going up to my neck.
I try to push his hand away, disgusted by the touch that seems to burn my skin, but he manages to fit his hand at my nape.
“You lied, didn’t you? You’re not pregnant... You just want to annoy me, punish me.”
“Don’t flatter yourself.” I try to pull away even more, now with desperation, my throat tightening and my heart beating hard against my chest.
“If you wanted my attention, it’s all yours, Angelee... you don’t need any of it.” Eric pulls on the back of my neck, trying to close the distance between our faces, but I resist with all my might. “I promise I won’t go looking for any other woman. You’re all I can think about... Your body, damn it... it’s all I can think about.”
“Get your hands off me, Eric,” I say between my teeth, anger spreading through my chest.
“I regret every day that I let you go, Angelee...” He closes his eyes, managing to bring our faces closer despite my resistance.
Eric rests his forehead against mine, merging our breaths, but I’m really struggling to get rid of this disgusting closeness.
“Why did you slip through my fingers? I tried to catch you, but you were too far away. Just an oversight and you were out of my reach... It’s killing me, you know? I need you, honey... I love you-”
Eric’s voice suddenly cuts off, and I also feel an impulse that forces his hands to release me. My body staggers backward from the impact, and I open my eyes only to see a scene that makes a scream stick in my throat.
Julian is advancing on Eric, grabbing his collar, pulling him back, and hitting him straight in the jaw. The impact is so loud and strong that I can hear the hollow sound amidst the surprised shouts around us.
“What the hell?” Eric mutters, staggering...
And my legs are suddenly weak as well, causing me to lean on a signpost. Even so, I’m unable to look away or even blink... Julian’s anger explodes in a right jab straight into Eric’s face, robbing me of air.
“I told you, huh?” Julian mutters, his voice cold... “If you touched my woman again, I’d kill you.”
Eric’s legs go weak, and he almost falls to the ground, only to stagger on.
Julian runs his hand through his hair, and I can see the bruised knuckles on his right hand... “Hah, great, now my mood really sucks.”
He has his back to Eric, his head up, and his eyes towards the starry sky. He doesn’t seem to notice that Eric is getting ready to punch him in the back, which alarms me and makes me want to shout, but his name just comes out garbled, *“Julian!”*
Fortunately, Julian turns his body in a perfect reflex that allows him to land a blow from below. His right fist hits Eric exactly in the jaw, so hard that it probably rattled the entire brain inside his head.
And as Eric falls back, dazed and knocked out, the people on the sidewalk run up to him, trying to help him in some way. People also glare at Julian, but he just ignores them, walking towards me with a serious, stern expression... However, what makes me shudder is his cold green eyes when he stops in front of me.
“Angelee.” His voice makes me shudder, but I raise my eyes to meet his slowly softening expression. “I’m sorry for making you wait.”
I swallow hard at the lump forming in my throat.
“Shall we?” He asks slowly, looking me in the eye. “Our date... we haven’t had it yet.”
He gives me a subtle smile, but I can see there’s something wrong...
*Julian is angry.*
Still, he holds out his hand to me... And I don’t hesitate to take it.