Chapter 152 Heart-to-heart Talk
I'm feeling better now, everything seems much more relaxed. Walking down the street with my hands in my pockets, my mind clear, I soon found my way back to the office. Looking at the familiar street scenes, feeling the quiet of the night, my emotions also calmed down. Yes, what the fortune teller said was right, Nathan will leave one day, Katniss will eventually belong to me alone. Is it interesting to argue with an old man about gains and losses at this moment? And after this incident, maybe the two of us will end our ambiguous relationship, after all, this incident has tormented the three of us.
Back in the office, as I was about to take my hands out of my pockets, I pulled out a piece of paper. This puzzled me a bit, as I remembered only having my phone in my pocket, how did a piece of paper suddenly appear? I picked up the paper, it was a yellowed, tattered piece of paper, with a sentence written in pencil: "Keep it hidden."
Wasn't this paper from the fortune teller? Maybe when I was sitting next to him thinking, he wrote this sentence and secretly slipped it into my pocket before leaving. What he said today was very philosophical and matched my current situation, but some of the things he said were vague and ambiguous, perhaps afraid of revealing too much information and fearing curses. How things will turn out in the future, he didn't tell me, has Katniss repaid Nathan's kindness? Is it done now or not? These are all unknowns. Well, now that the questions have been answered, why bother to dwell on them again.
After returning to the office, with a relaxed mind, I fell into a deep sleep in the office. I've been sleepless for a long time, and it's been a while since I've slept so comfortably.
The next day, starting work with a pleasant mood, the only question in my mind now is whether Katniss is pregnant. But now that I'm feeling much better, after listening to the fortune teller's words, even if she is pregnant, so what? Everything will go smoothly, so even if she is pregnant, it should be my child. I don't know why, but I have complete faith in the fortune teller's words. As the evening approached and it was almost time to leave work, I suddenly received a call from Katniss. She said she wouldn't be coming home for dinner tonight and wanted to have dinner outside with me. I knew Katniss had something to tell me, although I didn't know what it was, I could guess some of it. Isn't this what I've been hoping for? After last night, I should reconcile with Katniss, we can't continue like this.
In the evening, we met at a restaurant, ordered two standard set meals, and two glasses of red wine. The meal was simple, well, that's how set meals are.
"Honey, do you remember the first time we came to this restaurant?" The dishes arrived, but neither of us touched them, just quietly looking at each other, with a thousand words in our expressions. Katniss held her chin with both hands, looking at me affectionately.
"Of course, I remember. That was the first real date I had with you, also here, where I first confessed to you. I can say that this place is the starting point of our relationship." I didn't know what expression I had at the moment, because I couldn't see my face, maybe there were memories, nostalgia, or some other emotions.
"That time, honey, you were so silly. I remember you were so nervous that you couldn't even speak properly, stumbling over your words to confess to me. Although the rose you gave me at that time wasn't the most expensive, and the words of confession weren't the most beautiful, it was the happiest and most touching moment for me." Katniss's weary face had a smile, but the smile carried a hint of sadness.
"Yes, that night we talked about everything, I was also the happiest at that time, especially when you agreed to my pursuit." I looked around the familiar private room, the decor and layout had changed, but that familiar feeling lingered in my heart.
"It was from this private room that our happiness truly began, filled with the memories of our first time together. Just, I wonder if we will end because of this private room." Katniss said this with a smile, her eyes already filled with tears, tears starting to flow down her cheeks.
"Why would you say that? Do you want to leave me?" Hearing Katniss say this, I couldn't help but feel a bit nervous, it was a feeling from the heart, my most genuine feeling, but my expression at the moment should still be calm.
"No, I never thought of leaving you. From the moment we entered the realm of marriage, I decided to be with you for life, no matter what storms we face, I am willing to accompany you till old age. But I feel like you are going to leave me. I don't know what's been going on with you lately. I just feel the coldness in our relationship, and your distance from me. I've been trying hard these days, but I'm so afraid, afraid that you're tired of me. That you want to leave me."
Katniss finally broke down at this moment, in front of me, she broke down. She rested her head on her arm, letting her hair fall down, crying softly. All the grievances I had caused her these days seemed to be pouring out at this moment.
I didn't immediately answer Katniss at this moment, but quietly watched her cry. I didn't know how to respond to Katniss. Leave her? To be honest, I had never truly considered giving up on our relationship.
"Honey, please, tell me, what's really going on, even if you want me to die, I have no complaints, but at least let me die with understanding, okay? Please." Katniss suddenly grabbed my hand, her tearful face looking at me resolutely, her emotions reaching their limit, she was eager to know the answer, whether I had discovered her affair with Nathan, or if there were other reasons.
"I just feel so tired, for this family, for work. Work is not going well, and there are always troubles at home. From my mother's death, to Nathan's injury, to the constant setbacks at work, I always thought I was a strong man, but I also have times when I can't bear it. Lately, I've been particularly troubled, maybe our life is already happy, but my current melancholy mood doesn't match reality. I suspect I might have depression, I can't focus lately, I keep finding trouble for myself." After much thought, I spoke out all my troubles, except for what I heard that night, I didn't mention it, but I expressed my true feelings. In the end, I still didn't have the courage to speak out about the most conflicting issue in my heart, how good it would be if I had the courage to come clean.
Katniss listened quietly as I spoke, trying to hide the real reason behind other excuses, diverting her attention. Between impulse and reason, after last night's events, I ultimately chose reason. At this moment, I wanted to focus on maintaining this family. These words were also my sincere thoughts, just not the main point, it was also a kind lie to myself.
After hearing my words, Katniss sighed, what I feared most was that if I tortured her like this, would Katniss have an emotional breakdown and do something impulsive? If Katniss really did something impulsive, then I would truly regret it. We talked a lot, and at that moment, I remembered the bracelet, the bracelet Nathan gave her, I noticed that Katniss hadn't worn it in a long time. And I had been wanting to tell Katniss the truth for a while, but it got delayed by some things, and I forgot.
"Also, Katniss, that bracelet wasn't given to you by me. It was actually bought by Nathan for you, he said it was to thank you for your dedication to this family, and for taking care of him when he was sick. I did forget your birthday, that's true. I've been wanting to tell you, but maybe saying it out loud would make me feel a bit better." But I couldn't bring myself to reveal the real reason, I felt uneasy inside, as if there was something I couldn't get off my chest, maybe if I poured out everything except this incident, it would make my heart lighter, no longer feeling suppressed.
After listening to my words, Katniss fell silent, she seemed to be recalling something, recalling the events of this period, and she seemed to be testing the truth of my words.
"Thank you, honey, for telling me so much. Let's not talk about the bracelet issue, you don't have to worry. I actually knew about it a long time ago because I found the shopping receipt. I was really angry at the time, but later I thought about it, thought about your dedication and hard work for this family. Haven't you noticed that I rarely wear that bracelet now? Although I really like that bracelet, it's not from you after all. I like the necklace you gave me the most, not because it's expensive or I like its style, but because it's from you." Katniss rested her head on her arm, looking at me quietly.
It was only then that I remembered, indeed, except at home, Katniss almost never wore that bracelet when she went out, she only wore that necklace. Maybe she wore the bracelet at home to show Nathan, to not disappoint his kind gesture, and to give him some comfort. Most of the time, that bracelet lay quietly in its box.
"You could have kept wearing that bracelet, things given by elders also carry meaning." I lowered my head to take a sip of red wine, shifting my gaze to the wine glass, not letting Katniss see my eyes, I was afraid something would be revealed in my gaze.
"Let's not talk about the bracelet issue anymore, honey, when you have time, let me take you for some counseling, to give your inner self a moment of relief, or you could take a long break, let's go out and relax. Last time in Denver, we had to cut short our trip because of Nathan's accident, thinking back to our happy times, I really miss them."
"Let's skip the counseling for now, it's not that serious. As for the trip, let's talk about it later, at least after this busy period."
"Honey, let's be happy from now on. If I'm not doing well, if I'm doing something wrong, just tell me, I'll definitely correct it. For you, for this family, I'm willing to do anything for you. Whatever happens, I'm willing to share it with you, I just hope you never abandon me."
"Let's not dwell on the past, at least from tonight, from this restaurant, from this private room, let's start anew, let's pretend we're meeting for the first time, okay? Let's forget all the troubles and unhappiness." Katniss lifted her head from her arm, looking at me intently, her eyes carrying a subtle plea, if I didn't know the whole story, I might not have seen it. She was comforting me, but also comforting herself.
The past is already set, everything has happened, time cannot be turned back, is it meaningful to dwell on it again? If I want to continue living with Katniss, to maintain the integrity of this family, then my focus must be on the present and the future. Although there was still some discomfort in my heart, I hoped time would fade it all away, and as the fortune teller said, from today onwards, everything would get better.
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