Chapter 17 Log 2
My hands, under the control of my gradually fading desires, removed the only barrier to my genitals - my underwear. At this point, my body was no longer under my control, but rather controlled by the desires within me. I got on the bed and straddled my father-in-law. My lower body had already started to moisten and secrete fluids, and I knew I wanted to make love.
Under the control of desire, I used my vagina to continuously approach my father-in-law's penis. I couldn't control myself anymore. I wanted to forcefully insert it into my body, to satisfy my own desires and extinguish the fire within me. Although my vagina and his penis were getting closer, my body's craving grew stronger. I eagerly anticipated the moment his penis would enter my body.
Just as my father-in-law's thick, ugly penis was about to enter my body, in that split second of haziness, my husband's figure suddenly flashed through my mind. The majestic figure of my husband suddenly sobered me up, allowing me to preserve my last line of defense, to protect my chastity. After coming to my senses, I deeply regretted it, regretted why my self-control was so poor. Could I face my loving husband?
But when I looked again at my father-in-law's wrinkled face and chest, when I saw his thick penis, I still couldn't accept it. I didn't want to give up this rare opportunity in my heart. "As long as the penis doesn't enter my body, then I'm not betraying my husband, right?" I convinced myself in this way, looking back now, I was just deceiving myself.
I inserted my fingers into my lower body, starting to masturbate with myself and my father-in-law. Although my fingers were thin and far from the thickness of my father-in-law's penis, the pleasure from my vagina was still so intense. I looked at my father-in-law's thick penis, imagining it was inside me at that moment, imagining that I was making love to it. My pleasure grew stronger and stronger, the stimulation was unparalleled, even compared to when I made love with my husband before.
I let out my voice, moaning freely with a bit of restraint, from the top of my head to the soles of my feet, my whole body felt so comfortable, a feeling I had never experienced before. I indulged in it, forgetting my identity with my father-in-law, forgetting about ethics and morals, forgetting about my husband, forgetting about the time ticking away on the clock.
Finally, my father-in-law and I reached climax together. His semen sprayed on my face and nightgown, the stimulating scent of semen on my face, like the makeup I used to apply, was so slippery and fragrant. At the moment of climax, I was so intoxicated, my body floated up, drifting towards the white clouds in the sky.
After the climax, my body had no strength left due to the intense experience. The feeling of climax was unforgettable, I wished time could stop at that moment of release.
After the climax, I came to my senses. What had I done? I hated myself, why did I do such a thing? How could I face my husband and father-in-law? I deeply regretted it, filled with guilt towards my husband and father-in-law. I was a shameless woman, constantly berating myself in my heart.
Suddenly, I thought of death, of suicide, to wash away the guilt on my body. I wiped myself mechanically, like a walking corpse. When I walked into the living room and saw my son sleeping in the crib, and my husband drunk and asleep in the bedroom, I dismissed the idea of suicide. For this family, I couldn't entertain such thoughts.
I went to the bathroom to bathe, the water spraying on my face and body, the feeling of climax was completely different from my father-in-law's ejaculation. I let the water wash over my face, my body, trying to sober up, trying to calm down.
I repeatedly washed my body, using shower gel over and over again, but I knew, no matter how much I washed, my body was no longer as clean as before. At least my heart was now filthy, the semen my father-in-law ejaculated on me seemed impossible to wash away.
Back in bed, looking at my husband still sleeping, so peaceful, perhaps he didn't know that his beloved Katniss had just done something unforgivable. Thinking of my husband's hardships and grievances, I couldn't help but shed tears, tears that tasted salty and bitter, my guilt lingered, I gently kissed my husband's face. I couldn't sleep at night, no matter how hard I tried.
Deeply guilty towards my husband, and because of my sleepless night, I woke up early in the morning and prepared breakfast for my husband for the first time. This was something that had never happened before, as it was usually my husband who occasionally prepared breakfast for me. Seeing my husband's happy smile, my guilt lessened a bit.
In fact, my husband's love for me far exceeded what I had done for him. What he needed was simple - my love for him. Perhaps after last night's mistake, I suddenly feared losing my husband and family, which made me cherish them more. I loved my husband even more deeply. I couldn't imagine how I would be without my husband's companionship, so I had to take better care of him and not hurt him again.
After coming to my senses, I also thought about my father-in-law. Last night, I was so focused on enjoying myself that I didn't consider whether my father-in-law was drunk and unaware or pretending to be drunk. If my father-in-law was sober at the time, how would I face him in the future? How would he view me, his lascivious daughter-in-law? What if he told my husband about what happened?
After work, I lingered downstairs at my own home, afraid to go upstairs. I must face the situation eventually, so I gathered the courage to slowly walk upstairs. I walked slowly, hoping deep down that the staircase would never end, so I wouldn't have to face my father-in-law.
Finally, I reached the front door, trembling hands unlocking the door with the key. The door opened, and the figure of my father-in-law watching TV came into view. He looked surprised to see me, his eyes filled with anticipation as if he had been waiting for me for a long time. He stood up and spoke to me, but I immediately lowered my head, unable to look him in the eye.
Perhaps sensing my discomfort, my father-in-law asked if I was sick. Seeing that my father-in-law looked the same as usual, I knew he had no idea about what happened last night, and that realization relaxed me.
Seeing my father-in-law reignited my guilt, while the desire from last night began to stir in my heart again. I had meals with my father-in-law as usual, tidying up the house.
The only difference from before was that I felt shy around my father-in-law, like a princess seeing her prince charming, and I reminisced about the feeling from last night, missing the majestic appearance of my father-in-law's penis. I couldn't help but sneak glances at my father-in-law's crotch, where his penis was hidden in his pajamas, occasionally revealing its magnificent outline. I tried hard to divert my attention, but I knew my heart was slowly succumbing.
Is there a pill for regret in this world? If everything could go back to the way it was, I wouldn't have looked at those articles and images that now consumed me. Is there an antidote in this world? Even if it's a drug that causes amnesia, let me forget these past few days, let my memories return to my pure past. Fear began to creep into my heart, I was afraid that one day I wouldn't be able to control myself, that I would once again betray my husband. But my love for my husband was above all else, even my desires. I silently vowed to my husband in my heart, "My dear, I promise you, no matter how much I'm controlled by desire, I will protect my body for you, guarding my last line of defense. Except for you, I won't let any other man enter my body, even if I end up lonely and old. Honey, you are irreplaceable in my heart, I love you."
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