Chapter 267
I turned off the surveillance at home, feeling much more relaxed. Katniss's performance has satisfied me.
To be honest, before checking the surveillance, I was quite nervous. Ever since Katniss and Nathan had a sexual relationship, I haven't had much confidence in Katniss and Nathan. Following the logic of most people: since you can't see it anyway, even if I have sex, you won't know, as long as I clean up the traces.
This is a matter of personal integrity, a commitment between Katniss and me, a trust between husband and wife.
However, after feeling relaxed, a sense of guilt arose in me once again, a guilt that has been lingering for a long time.
Specifically, I have let down Katniss's trust. When I caught Katniss and Nathan in a passionate moment on the island, I lost my temper and even threatened divorce with Katniss.
Looking back at the whole process, all the reasons were orchestrated by me, and the biggest responsibility lies with me. Now, in retrospect, my behavior of seeking a divorce was somewhat excessive. I can say that I am the main culprit for Katniss's current state.
From an outsider's perspective, my anger and rage were quite pathetic, and I should take responsibility for the consequences of my actions.
Moreover, Katniss is still unaware of the surveillance. I have been secretly monitoring her every move.
If one day Katniss discovers the surveillance and learns the whole story, I dare not imagine further. The thought makes me break out in a cold sweat. If that time comes, will Katniss angrily leave me? Will Katniss hate me and think I am not a real man? I have been avoiding this possibility all along. So, I have been carefully watching the video surveillance, fearing that Katniss might discover something. I have lied to Katniss, but this lie is definitely not out of goodwill.
Normally, I am a leader, but I don't have the sense of superiority that a leader should have. Instead, I feel a sense of unease, as if I am choosing an evil path, like descending into an abyss.
As I ponder, my takeout arrives. I light a cigarette, not immediately eating. I try to push away these thoughts. What's done is done, and I can't turn back. Continuing to dwell on it will only add to my troubles, occupying my already chaotic mind due to work.
At this moment, I feel the most guilty towards Katniss. Like this morning's test, to an onlooker, it seems despicable, as if I am toying with my wife. From the beginning, was I right or wrong? After all this time, it seems like I have gained nothing except for this job now, losing everything else.
After finishing the cigarette, I start eating the takeout. The food mixed with the taste of smoke makes me feel a bit nauseous, and after forcing down a few bites, I set aside the remaining food, still mostly uneaten.
I push the leftovers aside and continue working. Perhaps only work can numb me.
During work, I zone out many times. I want to call Katniss to explain, to change the decision I made this morning, but wouldn't that only increase Katniss's suspicions? It might also make Katniss notice something unusual.
In this state, I persist until it's time to clock out. I finish my work, which is already past eight in the evening. Normally, I wouldn't work this late, but it's entirely due to my poor work efficiency in the afternoon.
I'm not very satisfied with today's work performance, but I brought it upon myself.
Due to the thoughts from the afternoon and my constant monitoring of the house, I decide to just open the surveillance and take a look. I already told Katniss last night that I wouldn't be coming home, so tonight, I'll be resting at the office again.
It's almost 9 o'clock in the evening. I couldn't help but feel nervous again. I found myself caring a lot about Katniss keeping her promise. If she breaks her promise and is making love with Nathan, how heartbroken would I feel? Maybe I'll find out soon. The emotions I've been feeling lately made me realize that I still care about Katniss just like before. My love for her hasn't diminished at all, it might have even increased.
As I opened the home surveillance, I saw four dark screens. Yes, the living room, bathroom, and two bedrooms were all dark, not the scenes I imagined, and I didn't hear any sound.
Are they not at home? Did they go to a hotel while I was away, or did they go to the island together to continue their passionate affair?
I thought I might have been mistaken, so I maximized the night vision function of each camera. No, there was no trace of Nathan and Katniss in any corner of the house.
Seeing this scene, my heart suddenly tightened. I wasn't worried about any physical accidents happening to them, I was worried about where they had gone. Could they have known I could monitor them and left the house?
That's impossible.
I suppressed the urge to call Nathan and Katniss for answers and decided to check the surveillance footage first.
I set the time to after lunch when Katniss was cleaning up the dishes, and Nathan was watching TV. He occasionally stole glances at Katniss, wanting to see her occasionally revealing her sexy body, which he couldn't touch. Just looking should be enough.
But Katniss seemed to have learned from the morning's lesson. She kept concealing her exposed parts, never letting Nathan see.
Katniss seemed to have returned to a normal state, disappointing Nathan.
After finishing cleaning up, Katniss went back to her room to go online. When I'm not at home, Katniss usually spends her time online since the TV is occupied by Nathan, and she's tired of her phone. She looks for novelty online, but Katniss never chats online. As a woman with a strong sexual desire, she should be seeking excitement online, even if it means sexting, but Katniss just watches movies and TV shows online, nothing out of the ordinary. However, while Katniss is online, she occasionally looks back at her bedroom door.
Nathan sits in the living room, occasionally glancing at Katniss's door. Their eyes meet through the door, but Katniss never locks it, and Nathan doesn't have the courage to push it open.
Although Katniss is in need of satisfaction, she doesn't dare to open the door.
In the afternoon, around two or three o'clock, Nathan leaves for his usual patrol on the island, leaving Katniss alone at home.
After Nathan leaves, Katniss breathes a sigh of relief. She stands up, shuts down the computer, and walks out of the bedroom, as if the bedroom was an escape.
Katniss surveys the living room, looks at the family photo on the wall, and then her hands roam over her body, seemingly trying to relieve her sexual desire, even though it's futile.
Katniss goes to the bathroom, looks at herself through the mirror. Her face is flushed, with no external stimuli, her desire has built up high.
Looking at herself in the mirror, she turns to the bathtub, the sink, with memories flooding back, her desire surges again. It seems that looking at these places reminds her of the memories of making love with Nathan.
Katniss slowly walks out of the bathroom, then enters Nathan's room. Standing at the doorway, she smells Nathan's familiar scent, a scent she's familiar with because of their lovemaking. This familiar scent, along with the room's decor, is undoubtedly the aphrodisiac Katniss needs at that moment.
Katniss closed the door, but her body remained inside Nathan's room. Leaning against the wall with her eyes closed, she breathed in the air of Nathan's bedroom, gazing at the familiar and provocative sight of Nathan's changed pajamas and boxers, filled with intimacy and ambiguity.
In this moment, Katniss looked at everything with deep longing in her eyes, not of love, but of desire.
Slowly, Katniss's body slid down the wall, eventually sitting on the floor of Nathan's bedroom. She sat there, her breathing becoming rapid.
With a sudden onset of sexual craving, Katniss sought solace in the absence of Nathan, using this method to relieve herself, unaware of the unintended consequences.
Katniss stayed in Nathan's room for a long time. If Nathan had returned during that time, would he have taken advantage of Katniss's heightened desires? Unfortunately, Nathan only returned home long after Katniss had left the room, by which time she had suppressed her desires and was preparing dinner.
With less than half an hour until five o'clock, Nathan returned and simply greeted Katniss. Katniss, with flushed cheeks and uneven breathing, had spent the afternoon regulating herself in Nathan's room. Perhaps she didn't even dare to look Nathan in the eye, as his presence alone seemed to be arousing.
Nathan sat on the couch watching TV, occasionally glancing at Katniss or the digital clock on the wall. Whenever he checked the time, a hint of melancholy crossed his face.
At some point, Nathan seemed reluctant for me to come home after work, as it would disrupt their precious time together. Even if nothing intimate happened, just being alone with Katniss was enough.
Seeing Nathan's expression, a pang of pain struck my heart. If I were to die at that moment, leaving only Nathan and Katniss, would Nathan be happy? I pinched my thigh, realizing I shouldn't entertain such unrealistic thoughts and scenarios at that moment.
Amid Katniss's inner turmoil, dinner was finally ready. She lowered her head and served the dishes one by one, while Nathan, with a conflicted expression, seemed hesitant to join me for the meal.
"Kevin is working late tonight and won't be coming back."
Nathan was about to retreat to his room, knowing it was almost time for me to arrive home. However, upon hearing Katniss's soft words, he paused at the doorway. With his back to Katniss, a hint of joy appeared on Nathan's face. Kevin working late meant another chance for Nathan and Katniss to be intimate.
"Working late again."
When Nathan turned back to respond to Katniss, his expression had returned to normal, though the lingering joy in his eyes remained evident.
Katniss couldn't help but notice the emotions in Nathan's eyes. Seeing the joy in Nathan's eyes, a hint of confusion flashed in Katniss's eyes, replaced by disappointment.
The two of them had dinner together, with Katniss being very quiet and eating slowly, while Nathan seemed to be in a good mood, eating heartily.
Before cooking, Katniss had taken out her phone several times, wanting to call me, but ultimately gave up. Perhaps she was testing something, but in the end, she was afraid of giving me the wrong idea, and it seemed she couldn't find the right words to say.
At the dinner table, Nathan also became silent, assuming there might be another chance for intimacy that night. However, he was too preoccupied with his own happiness to notice the flicker of disappointment and eagerness in Katniss's lowered eyes.
Seeing the disappointment in Katniss's eyes, I felt slightly relieved. But when I saw the final glimmer of eagerness in Katniss's eyes, my heart couldn't help but tighten with nervousness.
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