Chapter 270
After hearing my words, Katniss suddenly sat up from my arms, staring at me in disbelief.
Her expression was exactly as I expected, and even I didn't anticipate saying those words. It was as if my thoughts were taken over, and I blurted out that sentence without much thought.
But once the words left my mouth, I regretted it. However, I didn't show any signs of regret. Instead, I smiled at Katniss, trying to appear calm. As a man, once you say something, you shouldn't take it back.
Reflecting on it now, perhaps it was a combination of the test earlier today that left Katniss feeling indebted, along with her sudden visit to the office that moved me, which led me to unconsciously utter those words.
"Honey, what did you say?"
After a moment of shock, Katniss stuttered, having clearly heard what I said earlier. The unexpected nature of the statement left her in disbelief, prompting her to seek confirmation.
"I'll take you to the island now. I'll drop you off by the river and have Nathan wait for you with the boat."
I reiterated my offer, this time with more composure, as if I truly didn't care. Did I really not care deep down? Why did I feel so stifled after saying those words?
"Honey, why?"
Once Katniss understood my intentions, she called out to me, asking why, perhaps unaware of the implications of my decision.
"No reason. Since I've made this decision, I won't mind. You've endured so much, I know your body must be craving it. I can't satisfy you, so if blame must be placed, it's on my inadequacy."
As I finished my statement, Katniss reached out and covered my mouth, her expression filled with emotion.
"Honey, don't ever say such things again. This isn't what you want, and in my heart, you'll always be the perfect man. You've sacrificed so much for this family, endured so much for me and my father. I know, even though I'm not a man, I understand the burden you carry. It's me who's inadequate, not you. If you continue to belittle yourself like this, I won't be able to face myself."
As Katniss spoke, she began to cry in my arms.
"Okay, let's not talk about this anymore."
Hearing Katniss's words and thinking about the things I've hidden from her, a sense of shame and fear crept into my heart. So, I quickly interrupted her.
"I'll take you to the island now. It's not too late."
Interrupting Katniss, I swiftly changed the subject, preparing to get up. But as I tried to rise, Katniss grabbed my hand.
"No, honey, I want you to stay with me tonight."
Katniss held my hand affectionately, her eyes filled with desire yet resolute.
Though my suggestion intrigued her, she didn't make that decision.
"But, I've been so tired lately. I might not be able to perform."
The recent workload had drained me to the point where even getting an erection was difficult. Making love might just push me over the edge.
"I just need you by my side. You don't have to do anything else. I can handle it. It's like a drug addiction, something I can quit cold turkey."
Katniss spoke firmly, but behind her resolute gaze, I sensed a hint of hesitation and nervousness. Perhaps she wasn't entirely sure about Nathan's performance either.
"Listen to me, your health is important. If you give up halfway, wouldn't all your efforts be in vain?"
I struggled to find the right words to convey that sentiment subtly.
"Let's go. Don't worry, I won't dwell on it. The decision is mine."
Putting on my coat, I headed towards the office door.
Katniss silently followed behind me without saying a word. As I walked out of the office, the cold wind brushed against my face, making everything feel so real.
I got into the car, fastened my seatbelt, and started the car, only to realize that Katniss hadn't gotten in.
I turned my head to the passenger seat, where Katniss stood outside the car, hesitating, with a look of reluctance in her eyes, as if I had become the villain.
Katniss met my gaze. Then she lowered her head, slowly opened the car door, and got in.
"Honey, can we not go? Please?" Katniss spoke again as soon as the car left the company gates, her eyes pleading.
I knew Katniss was shy, openly leaving her husband behind to be with Nathan on the island. She must feel guilty towards me and think that her actions would hurt me. That's why she couldn't help but speak up again.
I didn't respond to Katniss's words. Instead, I drove while taking out my phone. Seeing my phone, Katniss seemed to realize something. She fell silent, burying her face in her hands, clutching her clothes tightly.
She seemed nervous and shy, her face hidden from view. It must be flushed, either from shyness or excitement about the upcoming intimacy.
"Dad, are you on the island?"
I called Nathan, and he took a long time to answer, showing his nervousness upon returning to the island. Seeing my call, he hesitated before finally picking up, remaining silent until I spoke first.
"Yeah, there's something going on at the island."
Nathan replied nervously upon hearing my voice, his tone trembling.
He returned to the island because Katniss didn't accompany him. Now, with my call, he seemed apprehensive, perhaps feeling guilty and expecting some sort of confrontation.
"Dad, drive to the riverbank now. I'll send Katniss over."
Without pointing out his lie, I got straight to the point.
Nathan made a strange sound, just like Katniss, unable to believe and doubting if he heard correctly.
"I'll take Katniss to the riverbank. I'll be there soon. You come over by boat."
I had to slow down and explain to Nathan.
"I'll sail over to the riverbank now to pick you both up."
Nathan finally understood my intention but was unsure of my true motives.
"Not to pick us both up, just Katniss. I have to go back to the office later."
The end of Nathan's previous sentence was a probe, "you both." In fact, Nathan had already guessed something but wasn't sure. So, I followed up on his hint and explained further.
After agreeing, Nathan fell silent, seemingly at a loss for words, feeling embarrassed by my call.
"Alright, hurry up. We'll be there in less than twenty minutes."
Sensing Nathan's tension, I minimized our communication.
After hanging up, I focused on driving, while Katniss kept her head down even lower, gripping her thighs tightly, seemingly using pain to maintain her last bit of composure.
As time passed, when the car stopped at the riverbank, Nathan's boat was already waiting from afar, but there was no sign of Nathan on the boat. Perhaps he was hiding in the cabin by now.
When the car stopped, Katniss remained seated in the passenger seat, unwilling to get out. Her head was still lowered, hands no longer fidgeting but gripping her inner thighs tightly, seemingly using pain to hold onto her last bit of sanity.
"Honey, please, take me home, okay?"
At this moment, Katniss hadn't given up her last hope. Although I knew she was extremely urgent inside, she remained steadfast in fulfilling her promise as Katniss.
"Wife, it's my fault. I'm willing to bear it all."
Katniss may not understand my intentions, as she is unaware of the whole story and the surveillance involved. So, when I said this sentence, although it sounded righteous, deep down I felt guilty.
"Darling."
Katniss called out to me for the last time.
"Go ahead."
I replied to her in a flat tone.
After hesitating in the car for a while, Katniss got out of the car without looking at me throughout. I couldn't tell if it was due to nervousness or something else.
After Katniss got out of the car and closed the door, silence filled the vehicle. Through the car window, I watched Katniss's figure slowly walking away, eventually boarding Nathan's small boat. Nathan was nowhere to be seen, as if he wasn't on the boat. However, once Katniss boarded, the boat started moving.
It seemed my speculation was correct. Nathan had been hiding in the boat cabin all along, waiting. As soon as Katniss boarded, he swiftly took my beloved wife away from me, to the small island, presumably to make love. At least for this night, my wife no longer belonged to me.
Watching the boat drift further away, I sighed deeply. With no surveillance equipment on the island, does that mean I can't see anything? I could sneak onto the island, but at this hour, who would be willing to take a boat?
Tonight was destined to be a sleepless night for Nathan and Katniss, and for me as well. Perhaps this was the first time I couldn't witness Katniss and Nathan's intimacy. I wondered if tonight would bring any breakthroughs for them. Would Katniss give herself to Nathan in some way for the first time?
I dare not imagine. I stayed by the river without driving. I noticed Nathan's boat lingering in the center of the river, as if it wouldn't move unless I left. At this moment, Nathan was also fearful, keeping that last bit of room for my regret.
I started the car, moving further away from the riverbank. The boat also drifted away from the center of the river. I couldn't tell if it was my boat moving, Nathan's boat moving, or both of us moving. Our distance was increasing, until we could no longer see each other.
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