Chapter 156 Lonely
After thinking for a long time, I agreed to Katniss's request not to attend the party tonight. I understand Katniss's feelings. After all, she and Nathan had a very intimate relationship. If your partner is getting married, whether you love them or not, they are still half of your lover. The reluctance in your heart is self-evident. If Katniss came to the party and saw Nathan and Jennifer having a great time, would she not be able to contain her emotions and reveal something? So the most rational and prudent way is for Katniss to avoid it.
At the restaurant, Nathan had already arrived. When the food was served, I told Nathan that Katniss couldn't make it due to some last-minute issue. A hint of disappointment and understanding flashed in Nathan's eyes. He also knew the reason deep down, but the fleeting sadness in his eyes was caught by me, someone who knew the situation.
At the table, there were four of us - Nathan and Jennifer chatting, and me chatting with Emily. Young people have their own common language, and the older generation has theirs. The topics Emily and I discussed were related to work, while Nathan and Jennifer talked about rural life and life experiences. What surprised me was that Nathan and Jennifer seemed to have a lot in common. Both were from rural backgrounds, similar in age, and had similar experiences of moving from the countryside to the city, both widowed at a young age. The twists and turns and the bitterness they experienced were similar. The two elderly people were very happy, seemingly having endless topics to talk about. Seeing their interaction, Emily and I exchanged smiles, it seemed that there was no barrier between them as long as their lifestyles were aligned.
Seeing the atmosphere at the table, I was glad that Katniss didn't come tonight. If she had seen the intimacy between Nathan and Jennifer, she would have definitely revealed something, and her awkwardness might have affected the current atmosphere. However, upon careful observation, I noticed that Nathan's eyes towards Jennifer did not show love. He didn't see Jennifer as a lover, but more as a confidante and friend. It seemed that after spending so much intimate time with Katniss, Nathan couldn't easily fall in love with someone else. In the future, Jennifer might only be able to provide care and some emotional comfort to Nathan. A partner is just a companion after all.
Everyone had a small appetite and soon put down their utensils after eating for a while. As we left the restaurant, I suggested going to the mall to give Nathan and Jennifer some time to talk. Perhaps it was their first meeting, or maybe Nathan didn't have romantic feelings for Jennifer, as despite their lively conversation, there was a lack of passionate lover-like affection. Around ten o'clock at night, I and Nathan saw Jennifer and Emily off. As I was about to hail a taxi to go home, Nathan stopped me.
"The way home is not far, let's walk back," Nathan gently said, stopping my hand from hailing a taxi.
"Alright," I sensed that Nathan might have something to say to me tonight. Due to the nature of the occasion, neither I nor Nathan had been drinking alcohol at the dinner table, so our minds were very clear at that moment.
"How do you feel about Jennifer?" Nathan asked me as we walked.
Dad, you can choose your partner, I have no objections. Jennifer is my subordinate at the company, and I know her character to some extent.
"As long as you both are okay with it, that's all that matters. By the way, about me moving out, how is that arranged?" Nathan had been asking me about this matter for the past few days, seeming eager to leave this family. After the fake pregnancy and my two outbursts, Nathan seemed a bit scared. Perhaps leaving this home would make his life easier.
"Do you really have to move out?" Although I understood the reasons behind Nathan's decision to move out, I still felt a twinge of guilt. I couldn't help but try to persuade Nathan once again.
"I have to move out, even if Dad formally requests it, there's no room for negotiation. Living together is inconvenient in many ways, after all, our lifestyles are different, and I've had enough of living in the apartment. I'm just not used to it." Although Nathan didn't look at me while saying these words, I could hear the determination in his tone.
"Alright, I'll contact George tomorrow to help arrange a better environment for you to continue working as a patrol officer. It's not too tiring of a job, you have something to do, and you enjoy that kind of life, right?" Feeling Nathan's determination, I could only compromise. After the incident at Zephyr Energy Solutions Company, technically they wouldn't be able to hire Nathan as an employee. But with my connection to George, an executive, arranging it wouldn't be a problem. We could keep it discreet, after all, being a patrol officer wasn't a significant role, who would notice?
"Okay, I really like the island life. To be honest, I've been reminiscing about the time I spent as a patrol officer on the island." Nathan's mood seemed to lighten up a lot upon hearing my arrangement. These were Nathan's true feelings. After all, Nathan, who came from a rural background, still preferred a pastoral life, and the island with its mountains and waters was more suitable for elderly people like him.
Nathan's departure was resolute. But there was still a hint of reluctance in his expression, which included his reluctance towards both me and Katniss, perhaps more towards Katniss. Nathan's idea might be to completely sever his intimate relationship with Katniss, forcing himself to leave, which, logically speaking, was the most sensible choice.
"But Dad, don't do what you did before," I thought of Nathan's previous suicide attempt and couldn't help but remind him.
"Don't worry, with Jennifer around this time, I won't be that foolish. I have someone to care about now, right?" Nathan smiled slightly at me, reassuring me. However, the loneliness in his eyes and the conflict on his face revealed his inner pain and turmoil.
Before I knew it, our conversation had brought us home. Upon entering the house, it was dark, indicating that Katniss had already gone to sleep. Nathan went straight to his bedroom, and I walked into the bedroom to see Katniss sleeping soundly. I changed into my pajamas in the bedroom and then went to the bathroom. As I walked out of the bathroom, curiosity led me to the kitchen. I noticed that the food was cold, the kitchen utensils were neatly arranged, and there were no signs of cooking. Did Katniss not eat when she came back, or did she eat outside?
Returning to the bedroom, I looked at Katniss's back, wondering if she was really asleep. Both Nathan and I had been very careful when we entered, hoping not to disturb her rest. I quietly turned on the computer and then the home surveillance video. I wanted to know what time Katniss had come home tonight and observe her reaction and expression upon returning home, in order to understand her true feelings. Although Katniss had engaged in a physical affair with Nathan, I didn't want her to have an emotional affair. The physical aspect could be shared with Nathan, but Katniss's heart belonged to me alone. I cared about whether Katniss's heart belonged to me, not about the physical aspect. I couldn't help but feel sad about my own thoughts.
I paused the surveillance video at the usual time when Katniss returned home from work, and it turned out that she had indeed come straight home tonight at the usual time. From her expression when she first entered, she seemed exhausted and a bit listless. Instead of changing into her pajamas right away after taking off her shoes, she threw her bag on the couch and sat down, massaging her head with both hands. At this moment, Katniss seemed conflicted, with her brows furrowing and relaxing alternately, showing that her mind was not at peace, and she seemed troubled.
After massaging her head on the couch for a while, she slowly walked to the kitchen, perhaps to prepare dinner for herself. However, as she started to prepare the ingredients in the kitchen, she realized she was still in her work clothes and hadn't changed into her pajamas. She couldn't help but shake her head in annoyance, pursed her lips, put down the ingredients, and then went back to the bedroom to change into her pajamas.
When she returned to the kitchen, picked up the ingredients and the knife, but as she raised the knife, there was a moment of hesitation on Katniss's face. She looked at the knife, then at the ingredients, and finally sighed, quietly putting the ingredients and the knife back in their place. It was clear that she was troubled and had no appetite. After tidying up the kitchen, Katniss started to clean the room. She seemed to be using cleaning the room as a way to distract herself.
However, as Katniss cleaned the couch, our bedroom, the bathroom, and Nathan's bedroom, she would pause slightly at each spot. She looked at the couch, the bathroom, our bedroom, and Nathan's bed, seemingly lost in thought, with a mix of confusion, sweet memories, occasional hints of sweetness, and occasional signs of conflicted affection on her face. As Katniss finished cleaning the room with a complex and conflicted expression, it seemed that she was recalling the intimate moments she had shared with Nathan - making love on the couch, being intimate in the bathroom, and making love with Nathan on our bed. Undoubtedly, Nathan had given Katniss unprecedented sexual pleasure and climax, and every time she recalled those memories, it brought her sweetness and endless reminiscence. However, it seemed that everything between them was coming to an end, and those memories might forever remain as memories.
After finishing cleaning the room, Katniss stood in the middle of the living room, looking around as if searching for something else to do to distract herself from her troubles. However, the room was already tidy and clean, and there was nothing else to do.
Katniss put away the cleaning tools and then glanced at the digital clock above the entrance to the room, realizing that Nathan and Jennifer were already meeting in the restaurant, and her former lover now belonged to someone else. It was like having your beloved doll taken away by someone else, the reluctance, the conflict - Katniss couldn't avoid or control these feelings at the moment.
She checked the time, then looked at the family portrait above the living room. Although Katniss's gaze could cover the entire family photo, I believed that her attention was solely focused on Nathan's figure at that moment. Finally, Katniss lightly shook her hair, seemingly trying to clear her mind of those troubling thoughts, sighed, and slowly walked back into our bedroom, her figure with charming curves showing a hint of loneliness that was completely at odds with the scene and her beautiful appearance.
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