Chapter 194
I left the hospital and then drove to a well-known restaurant in the city. After discussing with the manager, I arranged a banquet table and requested the restaurant to deliver it to the hospital, including tableware and table. I paid a lot of extra money for this. Nowadays, in this society, money is all-powerful. After waiting for a while, I drove back to the hospital with the banquet table from the restaurant.
I knew the leaders of the hospital and exchanged a simple greeting. The hospital tacitly approved as long as we didn't make loud noises. Nathan had been transferred from the intensive care unit to the best private room, which was spacious. The restaurant's waiters and chefs were busy, and soon a large table of banquet appeared in the room, with all the necessary equipment. Seeing such a large table of banquet, the originally festive crowd had no joy at all.
"This year's birthday is very special, celebrating in a hospital room, and the banquet cooked by the restaurant chef." It was Nathan who suddenly smiled, the first to rush to the table, picked up a piece of his favorite roasted chicken, and praised it.
"Why are you all standing? Hurry up and eat." After Nathan took a bite and saw us still standing, he smiled and urged everyone to sit down.
Michael, Sophia, Jennifer, I, Katniss, Simon, and Olivia, a total of 8 people, in this hospital room, had turned into a birthday party with a touch of sadness. Nathan was eating, smiling as if he didn't know he was a dying man. However, everyone knew that Nathan's behavior was a manifestation of despair. Since he was beyond cure, he just wanted to eat and drink. Even the cigarettes he had quit, he now smoked without hesitation. But perhaps all of Nathan's actions were just superficial; how much bitterness he held inside, none of us knew.
Nathan drank one glass after another, and we just accompanied him. Nathan kept eating, but we hardly touched the food, just watching Nathan. Jennifer tried hard to hold back her tears, while Olivia, nameless, enjoyed the delicious food with Nathan, appearing very happy. It would be great if I were a child like Olivia. Eating, sleeping, going to school, watching cartoons all day, carefree. Surprisingly, no one at the table said "happy birthday," and there were no birthday wishes. I had asked Katniss to buy a cake for Nathan, but after the accident, Katniss left it at home. At this moment, who would care about anything else.
Michael, being a well-traveled government official, was the one who talked to Nathan the most at the table. They chatted and laughed, avoiding any mention of the illness, which slightly eased the somber atmosphere. As the night went on and Nathan drank more, he, who usually had a good tolerance for alcohol, was starting to get drunk. Perhaps Nathan was using alcohol to numb himself, to avoid thinking about his troubles.
Nathan, who shouldn't have gotten drunk, did. After getting drunk, his true feelings emerged. His laughter suddenly turned into tears, and he couldn't help but cry. At that moment, he finally dropped all pretenses and showed his fear of death. Everyone shed tears, and the atmosphere of sadness finally burst out. Only Michael embraced Nathan's shoulders, comforting him with silent words, as no words could comfort a dying man.
The banquet lasted until late, not because we ate late, but because we were all with Nathan. In the evening, Michael, Sophia, and Katniss took Simon and Olivia back to rest, while Jennifer and I stayed with Nathan in the hospital. Due to the alcohol, Nathan slowly fell asleep. Without the hypnotic effect of alcohol, he would not have been able to sleep tonight. After Nathan fell asleep, Jennifer and I went to the corridor. Jennifer wiped her tears, and we didn't say a word to each other. I knew her pain. She was a good woman, married to Nathan for over five years, and their relationship had always been good. Jennifer was content with her life, but unexpectedly, she didn't get to grow old with Nathan; now she was a widow.
"Mom, rest assured, I'm about to lose my father, but you will always be my mother. I will pour all the care I have for both my father and mother onto you in the future." I hugged Jennifer's shoulder firmly. These words were not a polite lie but my sincere feelings. In these five years, although short, our feelings for Jennifer were very deep. Jennifer treated me and my child like her own, as she only had a daughter. I decided to take care of her until the end.
One month later.
Watching the slightly black smoke rising from the crematorium chimney, indicating that Nathan's body was slowly being cremated, Jennifer and I waited on the side to collect the ashes. Katniss supported Jennifer, who was almost unable to stand due to the exhaustion of dealing with Nathan's affairs after his death. Michael and Sophia took care of Simon and Olivia, along with a group of colleagues and friends accompanying us.
After about half an hour, we received a foil tray containing Nathan's ashes from the window of the crematorium. Since the ashes were just taken out, they were hot, so the staff asked us to place them on the ash table to cool down. Our family shed tears as we looked at Nathan's ashes. Katniss, although not as sad as Jennifer, had cried for several nights. Sometimes, when she was alone, she would sit quietly, lost in thought, perhaps reminiscing and mourning.
As Nathan had passed away from cancer, his ashes were dark in color due to long-term medication. Seeing Nathan's ashes, we were filled with emotion. It seemed that everything had turned to dust with Nathan's death, slowly decomposing into nature over time. What would be left in the end? Perhaps only memories. After a while, the staff began to place Nathan's ashes in the urn. After all the ceremonies were over, our convoy headed to the cemetery with the urn and friends.
According to the customs of our hometown, Nathan should have been buried with his mother after his death. This would have required his ashes to be sent back to the countryside, a very long journey. However, before Nathan passed away, he left a will requesting that his ashes be buried in the local cemetery in the city after his death, not in the rural cemetery, and not buried with his mother. When Nathan spoke this will, no one understood except perhaps me and Katniss.
Nathan had made many mistakes in the past few years. Not to mention his affair with his daughter-in-law Katniss, who unknowingly became pregnant with his child, and his second marriage to Jennifer. For whatever reason, he couldn't be buried with his deceased mother. In his heart, he couldn't face being buried in the hometown cemetery with his mother. When he spoke this will, his eyes were filled with guilt and fear. If he were buried in the hometown cemetery with his mother, he feared he would suffer even after death.
As a person nears death, their words are often sincere. Before Nathan passed away, he was already lying in bed unable to speak, emaciated, only able to groan every day. Perhaps he was in great pain, but even his groans had weakened, only able to keep his eyes open, shedding tears continuously. His tears before his death contained too much - the endless physical pain from his illness, the guilt in his mind, and the fear of death. He had only committed one truly wrong act in his lifetime, yet it made him so fearful and afraid to face death.
Perhaps he had a premonition of his impending death. On the morning of the day he passed away, around nine o'clock, I brought food to the hospital to give to Jennifer. As I entered the ward, Nathan's eyes turned to me for a moment. At that time, he couldn't turn his head, only his eyes. Although his eyes were lifeless, they were very complex. It seemed like he had a lot to say to me, but he couldn't speak. Even if he could speak, he couldn't say it out loud, only bury it in his heart, taking it with him into the coffin as a forever secret.
After I opened the food box for Jennifer, she was about to eat when I noticed Nathan, somehow finding the strength, looking at me and raising his arm and hand. Before this, Nathan couldn't even move his head. I was puzzled, thinking about what Nathan wanted. I looked around, thinking he needed something, and just then, Jennifer turned around. After five years of being with Nathan and taking care of him during this time, she understood what Nathan meant.
"He wants you to hold his hand." Jennifer, being an experienced elderly person, perhaps had already sensed something. Tears welled up in her eyes as she said this to me. I quickly went over and held Nathan's hand. Nathan's lips trembled, and I didn't know what he wanted to say, but his expression was urgent. I could feel his guilt and urgency towards me. Perhaps he had already sensed the approach of death, feeling regret and helplessness. Meanwhile, Jennifer took out a bag from the cabinet. I didn't know what was inside the bag; my attention was all on Nathan at that moment.
It had been a long time since Nathan and I had held hands. I remembered when Nathan held my hand as a child, leading me to visit other families in the countryside. Feeling Nathan's hand gradually cooling, after he glanced at me, his eyes suddenly rolled up, as if he couldn't catch his breath. I quickly pressed the emergency button, waiting for the doctors to arrive. Jennifer, however, didn't make any other moves. Instead of rushing out to call the doctors as she used to, she saw Nathan holding my hand and quietly searched for something. Soon, she took out a set of clothes from the bag, new clothes prepared for Nathan.
Jennifer had already sensed that Nathan's time was near. She had the new clothes ready, and before the doctors entered the ward, Nathan's hand slowly slipped from mine. After the doctors came in, they checked Nathan's heartbeat and eyes, then shook their heads at me. During Nathan's time in the hospital, he had been on the brink of death several times, but each time the hospital managed to save him. This time, his life had finally come to an end.
Jennifer and I tearfully dressed Nathan in the new clothes. We had mentally prepared for this day, but we didn't expect it to come so soon. After everything was arranged, I called Katniss, Michael, and Sophia. Colleagues also rushed over. Since Michael and Sophia were my only true relatives in the city, the funeral home, death certificate, and other procedures were being handled by my colleagues. I focused on the most urgent matters that required my attention. Afterwards, I asked Jennifer how she knew that Nathan was about to pass away. She told me that before a person dies, they suddenly become more energetic and lively than usual, a sign that the end is near.
I bought a relatively high-end burial plot for Nathan in the city cemetery. It was a double burial plot, but for now, only Nathan was buried there. Jennifer said she wanted to be buried with Nathan in the future, not with his first wife. We had obtained the consent of Jennifer's family for this decision, which further strengthened my determination to take care of Jennifer.
Standing at Nathan's tombstone with Simon, Olivia, and Katniss, everything was finally done, and Nathan's affairs were all completed. Seeing Nathan's tombstone, my emotions were very complex, just like Nathan's. My biggest feeling was one of immense regret. If only I could turn back time.
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