Chapter 66 Wound
To be honest, right now I can't figure out what Katniss is thinking. Her recent conversation with Nathan seemed to carry a sense of ease and release, but there was also sarcasm and resentment in her words, as if she was trying to accept everything but unwilling at the same time. Despite being married to Katniss for so long, I always thought I knew her very well, but today I realized that there is another corner in Katniss's heart that I don't know about.
The two people embracing each other are still in each other's arms, but their expressions are completely opposite. Nathan seems to be enjoying and comforting, with a hint of pain and unease; Katniss is in pain and unease, with a little tenderness and reluctance. The conflicting couple continues to embrace tightly, their bodies pressed closely together, seemingly without any gap.
Perhaps because the effects of the drug haven't worn off yet, as the embrace progresses, the desire that Nathan had just suppressed under Katniss's pressure gradually starts to reignite. His breathing becomes more and more rapid, his hands that were originally around Katniss's waist start to become restless, gently caressing her waist, very tenderly.
As Nathan's caresses continue, Katniss's body starts to tremble slightly, her teeth clenched tightly, her expression filled with pain and struggle.
Slowly, Nathan's hands start to move downwards, gradually reaching Katniss's buttocks, his hands gripping the two cheeks gently at first, then slowly increasing the pressure. Nathan's breathing also starts to quicken.
Just when I thought Katniss was consenting to what Nathan was about to do next, Katniss, who was closing her eyes in pain with clenched teeth, suddenly opened her eyes. With tears and pain in her eyes, along with deep regret and self-blame, she looked resolute, parted her sensual lips, which were normally small and sensual, but now seemed like a lion's gaping mouth. With all her strength, Katniss bit down hard on Nathan's shoulder, showing how deep and forceful her bite was.
Nathan, who was enjoying himself and preparing for more, was shocked by Katniss's forceful bite. His face twisted, cold sweat instantly streaming down his forehead. Reflexively, he tried to push Katniss away, but their embrace was so tight that Nathan's long arms couldn't reach between them.
Perhaps the sudden pain made him slowly adapt, as he initially intended to push away Katniss's hands but then put them back. He remained still, his eyes, which were once filled with desire, now showing pain, clarity, and determination. Nathan allowed Katniss to tear into his shoulder.
With her eyes closed, shedding tears and biting into Nathan's shoulder, Katniss gradually drew blood from the bite, showing how forcefully she was biting. Her hatred towards Nathan was completely revealed in that moment. However, Nathan silently endured it all, letting his blood flow along with Katniss's tears.
Seeing this scene in the video, I felt uneasy. I thought Katniss had let go of her inner turmoil and conflict, although I was puzzled by her sudden change. But after witnessing that bite, I knew that Katniss was still deeply troubled by what had just happened. She couldn't forgive herself or Nathan; she hated herself and Nathan. Her unusual actions were a result of a great shock that left her unable to think clearly.
I believe at that moment, the happiness of family and me as her husband, along with the nightmare of being raped by her father-in-law, all flooded Katniss's mind, causing her to be torn between feelings of happiness and sweetness, pain and regret. She smiled and then felt pain, felt joy and then sadness. At that moment, she didn't know how to find her true self anymore, nor did she know how to face everything correctly.
At the moment she bit into Nathan's shoulder, she finally found the predominant feeling in her heart - hatred. Although her hatred towards Nathan was not all-encompassing, at that moment, what she needed was to vent. Perhaps this bite could help her find her true self again. I think this is also one of the reasons why Nathan silently endured Katniss's fierce bite.
Seeing Katniss's bite, I felt a sense of relief, knowing that at least I didn't have to worry about Katniss's mental state. Although Katniss hadn't completely calmed down yet, the situation was much better than I had anticipated.
After crying and biting for a while, perhaps feeling the salty taste in her mouth, Katniss finally released her tight bite on Nathan's shoulder. Her lips still had traces of blood as she opened her eyes and looked down at Nathan's bleeding shoulder, where a clear bite mark had broken the skin, and blood was slowly oozing out.
Through this release, Katniss truly woke up. She stared at Nathan's wound in disbelief, wiped her mouth, and saw the blood she wiped off, finally accepting that she was responsible for all of this. A hint of pain and reluctance flashed in her eyes. Regardless of everything, the person she had bitten was her father-in-law, her relative, and the man who completely possessed her. At that moment, the man she had bitten and herself had so many complicated connections.
They say a woman's heart is the hardest to understand, so seeing Katniss in this state, I couldn't judge whether, after biting Nathan, she felt more hatred or more love towards him. No, did she even have any love left for Nathan at this point? Could it be that after Nathan entered Katniss and completely possessed her, her feelings towards him would change unconsciously? Would some of the supposed familial affection transform into romantic love? I, who thought I understood Katniss well, dare not speculate recklessly at this moment. I can only judge based on the unfolding events.
I decided to temporarily abandon my plan to explain the situation to Katniss. One reason was that Katniss was recovering faster than I had expected, so there was no need to tell her so much. After all, that was a last resort; the other reason was that Katniss's reaction was stronger than I had imagined. I thought that after being in contact with Nathan for so long, this insertion would make it easier for her to accept everything. I just didn't expect Katniss's rejection to be so intense. If she found out that all of this was my arrangement, would she hate me forever? I couldn't tell, so I couldn't take the risk. What if Katniss discovered the truth? I could only deny it to the end, even though the chances of that were very low.
Katniss, in Nathan's arms, stared blankly at the wound she had caused, realizing that Nathan didn't feel the pain? Or did she not bite hard enough? Katniss understood Nathan's tolerance; he was trying to atone for his actions. If making Katniss feel a little better meant Nathan losing a piece of flesh, he wouldn't mind. Understanding all this, the hatred in Katniss's eyes diminished slightly, replaced by more heartache and self-blame.
Katniss gently pushed Nathan, who was enduring the pain with closed eyes, and feeling her push, he gently released his hands, separating from Katniss.
Stepping back, Katniss looked at Nathan's still bleeding shoulder, at her own scratched arms from their lovemaking, and at Nathan's pained forehead sweating profusely. Was all this solely Nathan's fault? Of course not. If it weren't for her tacit approval and occasional initiative, how could they have reached this point today? The responsibility was not solely on Nathan; she had her reasons too. Perhaps it was a case of reaping what she had sown.
Unable to contain her heartache any longer, Katniss, with the pain of just losing her virginity, couldn't help but cover her mouth and start crying uncontrollably. After their first time together and the negotiations in the bathroom, this was the first time Katniss cried without reservation or concealment.
As Katniss cried and took out a wet tissue, she slowly walked over to Nathan and began gently wiping away the blood and the wound. At that moment, Katniss's heart was filled with an overwhelming mix of emotions.
Due to the sting of the alcohol on the wet tissue, Nathan's wound might have started to hurt more. As Katniss wiped with the wet tissue, Nathan couldn't help but groan in pain, but he stood straight, not avoiding the pain from his injured shoulder, letting Katniss tend to him.
Seeing Nathan silently endure it all, Katniss was moved and shaken. The hatred in her eyes was gradually diminishing, while Nathan's blood and Katniss's tears continued to increase.
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