Chapter 185
Everything fell silent, Nathan lay there crying uncontrollably, while Jennifer sat by his side doing the same, and I left them to their time.
I turned and walked out of the ward, then went to the doctor's office to inquire about the surgery costs and related precautions. By the time I finished my inquiries, almost half an hour had passed. This time should give Nathan some relief. Actually, the most challenging part of this surgery is the patient's psychological endurance. After all, removing the testicle means cutting off the source of testosterone secretion, and in the future, the patient may need occasional injections of estrogen and lifelong medication to resist testosterone.
As a result, even the most masculine man would lose his beard, his voice would become thinner, his skin would become smoother, neither male nor female, like a eunuch. I think most men wouldn't be able to accept it, including Nathan, of course.
"No, I won't have the surgery. I'd rather die."
"But if you die, what will I do? Please, do it for me and the children."
"No, I absolutely cannot accept the surgery." I hadn't even entered the ward yet, but as soon as I reached the door, I heard Nathan and Jennifer arguing inside. Nathan seemed very agitated and determined, while Jennifer patiently tried to persuade him.
After I entered the ward, Nathan and Jennifer stopped arguing, and Nathan looked pained, as if he had lost all consciousness. I didn't know how to comfort Nathan when I entered the room, so I remained silent. I understood Nathan; if it were me, I would probably prefer to die complete rather than live in that state.
"Dad, I'll come back tomorrow. You need time to think it over. I hope you can be more rational. You're only sixty, you have a long time ahead. Think about Mom, how long has she been married to you, think about me, think about Simon and Olivia, think about this family. Even though the surgery may cause you to lose something, you still have more to cherish."
After saying these words, Jennifer and I nodded, then slowly walked out of the ward. Everything still depended on Nathan, the patient, to make the decision. After all, if Nathan doesn't agree and doesn't sign the surgery consent form, even if everyone in our family agrees, the hospital would never dare to perform the surgery forcibly, even if they watched the patient die.
After leaving the hospital, I called Jennifer and told her to talk to Nathan more about the symptoms of advanced prostate cancer and the pain that occurs when cancer spreads, to scare Nathan.
That night, when I got back home, I talked to Katniss. When she heard that Nathan could be treated, Katniss visibly relaxed. When I mentioned that Nathan needed to have his testicle removed, I closely watched Katniss's reaction. She just blinked slightly upon hearing it, without showing the disappointment or pain I had imagined. She seemed more relieved to hear that Nathan had hope for recovery. I was quite satisfied with Katniss's reaction, although she might have had other thoughts that I didn't notice.
The next night, Katniss and I arranged to take a day off in the afternoon, pick up Simon from Michael and Sophia's place, and bring Olivia along. Then, the four of us headed straight to the hospital. When we arrived at the hospital ward, Jennifer sat by the bed with a worried expression, while Nathan seemed lifeless, lying on the bed. Upon learning about his cancer, he seemed to have lost half of his life.
"Grandpa." The voice of a boy who was growing up and going through puberty, along with the cute voice of a little girl, echoed in the ward. Nathan, who had his eyes closed, opened them instantly upon hearing the voices of the two children. He turned his head and saw the two children he most wanted to see, a grandson and a granddaughter.
When Olivia was born, Nathan was very happy and proud, often sharing his joy and happiness with friends. Seeing Simon and Olivia at that moment, it was as if all of Nathan's worries had disappeared. His previously negative attitude vanished instantly, and he sat up from the bed to be with the two children. Olivia sat in Nathan's arms like a koala, while Simon had grown up and couldn't be carried like before. Simon was peeling an apple for Nathan, who looked at Olivia, then at Simon, overflowing with love in his eyes.
Seeing everything in front of us, Jennifer and I exchanged a glance and smiled involuntarily. Last night, we had discussed ways to get Nathan's agreement. For someone determined to die, the most frightening thing is attachments and concerns. Once they have attachments and reluctance, their determination to die will waver. Nathan's late-life attachments were undoubtedly with Jennifer, Simon, and Olivia. For the next few days, I decided to have Simon and Olivia come to accompany Nathan every night until he agreed to the surgery.
"I agree to the surgery, it can be done anytime."
Three days later, as I was about to leave the ward with Simon and Olivia, Nathan suddenly said these words from behind me. Jennifer burst into tears of joy upon hearing this, and I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders, nodding gently.
The next day, I informed the doctor of the decision and paid for the surgery. The countdown to the surgery began, and Nathan started preparing for the surgery, including dietary adjustments and medication. The surgery was scheduled for the next day, and regardless of the size of the surgery, there was always a certain level of risk, especially for cancer surgery.
Three days later, our family waited outside the operating room, watching the light inside. Jennifer sat on a chair, while Katniss and I sat together. If our hearts weren't racing at that moment, it would be a lie. My hands were clenched tightly, and Katniss held my hand tightly beside me. I glanced at Katniss, and her gaze was fixed on the light in the operating room, knowing that any change in the light meant the surgery was over.
As I stared at the closed doors of the operating room, imagining the surgery in progress, Nathan's testicle might be getting removed at that moment, or it might have already been done. I recalled the moments when Nathan and Katniss used to make love, and I used to worry that they might secretly resume their intimacy. Although Nathan and Katniss had been behaving properly for the past five years and hadn't resumed their relationship, I still couldn't completely let go of my guard. The monitoring devices at home were still in place, indicating my lingering doubts.
With an 8.66-inch penis, enduring sexual performance, and a large volume of ejaculation, Nathan's proud sexual function came to a perfect end with this surgery.
After the surgery, with the removal of his testicle, Nathan would no longer be able to have erections, produce semen, and would completely lose the symbol and essence of being a man. After the surgery, the monitoring devices at home could be removed, and I could finally let go of my worries about Nathan and Katniss.
With a crisp sound, our family's thoughts were interrupted, as the light in the operating room had changed. The three of us stood up from our chairs, waiting for the doctor to come out and announce the results of the surgery. As the doctor emerged, our hearts were pounding, and I was most afraid of hearing the doctor say, "I'm sorry, we did our best."
"The surgery went smoothly, now it's up to the follow-up treatment and recovery," the doctor's words brought a sigh of relief, and soon Nathan, who was still unconscious, was wheeled out. I followed the attending physician to discuss the details of the postoperative care. Katniss helped Jennifer take care of Nathan, as he was about to wake up soon.
About half an hour later, Nathan woke up, silent but with tears streaming down his face. The regret and sadness in his eyes were evident to everyone. I knew Nathan must be feeling a deep sense of regret as the effects of the anesthesia wore off, and he began to feel the pain in his lower body, realizing he had lost the most precious thing as a man. Nathan would need a long time to adjust and adapt to his new physical condition.
In the following days, Katniss and I took Olivia to the hospital every day to visit Nathan. When Simon had time, we also brought him along to let the family's warmth and presence influence Nathan and help him slowly recover. Under Jennifer's meticulous care, Nathan's recovery was going well, except for his emotional state. Watching Jennifer and Nathan, I decided that after Nathan was discharged from recovery, I would take the whole family on a trip. The period of Nathan's illness had put a lot of strain on everyone, and it was a good opportunity for everyone to relax.
According to the doctor, although Nathan had his testicle removed and underwent surgery, there was still a possibility of recurrence. Nathan would have to undergo regular check-ups at the hospital for the rest of his life and take medication. It could be said that in the future, Nathan would not only be unable to be a complete man but would also lose his health.
After Nathan was discharged, I finally felt at ease. During this period, most of my attention was on Nathan, and I hadn't paid much attention to Katniss's state. Sometimes, I carefully recalled Katniss's attitude during this time. After all, the only point of contention between Katniss and me over the past five years was her attitude towards Nathan.
Recalling Katniss's experiences of pain, guilt, regret, sadness, and fear during Nathan's illness, and her joy and relief after Nathan's recovery, I didn't know why, but normally, I should have felt a little jealous when I saw Katniss happy about Nathan's recovery. However, this time, apart from feeling happy, I didn't have any other negative emotions. Perhaps it was because Nathan was no longer a man, so was it necessary for me to be jealous of him now? With some time on my hands, I spent time watching the surveillance videos from this period, which could be considered the final monitoring. After watching the videos, I planned to remove the monitoring devices since they had lost all meaning without Nathan's presence. However, after watching the footage, I noticed a detail: when Katniss found out about Nathan's cancer, she actually wrote a blog post online. Seeing this post, I thought it must have recorded Katniss's current attitude towards Nathan, allowing me to understand her inner thoughts. In the past, I would have been very concerned and eager about this blog post, but now, my expectations had diminished because everyone had changed, especially Nathan.
I glanced at Katniss sleeping on the bed, probably sleeping deeply under the burden of guilt. I gently opened the webpage, logged into the forum Katniss often visited, and accessed the Pink Lily account that had lost its meaning.
Log in with Google Account
Chapters
Favorite
Settings
