Chapter 177
I took one last look at Nathan's house, knowing it was time to leave. Continuing to watch would only lead to Nathan and Katniss having sex, climaxing, and ejaculating. Did I have the mental strength to endure this? Continuing to watch would only confirm how many times they had sex and how vigorous Nathan was tonight.
As I walked towards the gate of the power station where Nathan was, I was conflicted. When I reached out to the door handle, I hesitated. Biting my lower lip, perhaps influenced by Katniss, I found myself making this gesture when feeling conflicted. I felt the pain in my lips, but I didn't even have the courage to bite them until they bled.
The unwillingness in my heart made me turn around. I quickly ran back towards the house, leaving with regrets, perhaps to be haunted for the rest of my life. I ran fast, maybe forgetting about fatigue at that moment, driven only by determination and perseverance. When I arrived back at Nathan's house, I hesitated to enter through the open door. With no chance to hide inside anymore, I ran to the window outside Nathan and Katniss's room. I pressed my ear against the window to listen, even though I could already hear the sounds of their physical intimacy and moans without doing so. I just wanted to hear more clearly.
The sounds of their bodies colliding and Katniss's loud moans were very clear. As I listened and imagined their positions, I felt a sense of urgency despite just hearing the sounds. I searched for any gap on the window, but the curtains were tightly drawn. Finally, I found a small gap in the middle of the curtain, which I accidentally left open when I moved away from it. It was less than an inch wide, but enough for me.
The room was bright inside, while it was dark outside the window. This contrast allowed me to safely observe inside without Nathan and Katniss easily seeing me. I saw Nathan thrusting into Katniss in a missionary position. Katniss lay on her back on the bed, indicating that after their initial entrance into the room, Nathan laid her down. Their lovemaking became more skilled and synchronized, with moans and gasps intermingling.
While Nathan continued to thrust into Katniss, occasionally leaning down to kiss her nipples and lips, or squeezing her breasts like kneading dough. After watching for a while, I crouched down to rest as the window was a bit low, requiring me to half-squat to see inside. I kept a close watch, fearing that if either Nathan or Katniss glanced outside, they might notice my bright eyes.
Nathan and Katniss changed positions, intensifying their lovemaking. After about twenty minutes of thrusting, during a particularly intense climax from Katniss, Nathan once again ejaculated deeply inside her womb. I watched their trembling bodies and Nathan's repeated contractions, completing his third ejaculation. Nathan withdrew his penis and lay on the side of Katniss's body. This time, Katniss used a wet tissue to block her vaginal opening and cleaned herself. Since Nathan had been the more active one that night, his energy was depleted the most. Having ejaculated three times in just over two hours, Nathan was completely spent.
Katniss considerately didn't wait for Nathan to clean up, knowing he was tired. She cleaned herself first, then began to clean Nathan. She delicately used her slender fingers to clean Nathan's now flaccid penis with a wet tissue, wiping clean his scrotum and pubic hair covered in love fluids. After everything was cleaned up, Katniss disposed of the tissues and then started to clean the traces on the floor with her weak body, remaining naked throughout the process. Her figure remained unchanged, just as before, but this body that I once knew so well had been conquered by Nathan time and time again. Perhaps it was my illusion, but after being enjoyed by Nathan so many times, Katniss seemed fuller, her figure more charming, and her face a bit more enchanting, all thanks to Nathan's nourishment and caresses.
At that moment, looking at Katniss's delicate body and face, recalling all the memories and experiences with her from the beginning, a sense of fear crept into my heart. I suddenly feared losing Katniss, afraid that all my efforts would eventually make me a lonely man. Though my rational mind told me that there was no chance of Nathan and Katniss leaving me, I couldn't help but worry. I feared that Katniss's love would eventually be given to Nathan, and I, as her husband, would become a symbolic figure, an obstacle between Katniss and Nathan.
The unfounded fear in my heart, coupled with the cold wind outside, made my body start to tremble uncontrollably. It was late at night, the temperature dropping, and the combination of drowsiness and fatigue weakened my ability to withstand the cold. I curled up under the window of Nathan's house, hugging my knees, hoping that this posture would make me feel a bit warmer.
I no longer had the mood to look inside the house, as the sexual battle inside had already ended, and it seemed Nathan wouldn't be able to get an erection again in the short term. After a while, the lights in the room went out. Previously, I could see my reflection in the moonlight coming through the window, but now that the light was gone, it felt like losing some warmth. I felt even colder and couldn't help but curl up tighter.
As the room went dark, I was surrounded by pitch-black darkness, with only the cold, harsh wind and the flowing river for company. I was tired and hungry, having not eaten anything the night before. My body's functions had decreased to the lowest. The physical exhaustion led to a sinking feeling in my heart. Scenes of Katniss and Nathan's intimacy began to play in my already hazy mind. My inner self was so pessimistic, more so than ever before. I turned to look at the flowing river, so close yet so far. In my despondency, I felt the urge to walk towards the river and jump in, to drift away into eternal sleep.
At that moment, my body was weary and my mind was clouded with negativity. I was on the verge of despair, contemplating a drastic action. However, thoughts of Simon and my family flashed through my mind, bringing me back to reality. I couldn't let myself be defeated by the situation. I had to believe that none of those dark thoughts would come to pass. Wasn't I confident enough? I shook my head, trying to clear my foggy mind. I was close to the window, and the soundproofing of the house was not as good as that of an apartment. In my daze, I faintly heard Nathan and Katniss talking in the room, their voices soft and sweet, like whispers between lovers. However, their voices were too low, and my consciousness was too muddled to understand what they were saying. Occasionally, I could hear their laughter, Katniss's laughter as gentle as before, and Nathan's laughter filled with satisfaction and happiness.
Gradually, the room fell silent. After a while, Nathan's distinctive snoring could be heard. Though not loud, the sound traveled through the walls clearly. I wondered if Katniss could fall asleep listening to Nathan's snoring. She probably could, given how tired and satisfied they both were that night. They were naked in each other's arms, enjoying tenderness, while I shivered outside, enduring the cold and torment of nature. That night, I didn't sleep, nor did I dare to. I feared that if I fell asleep, I might not wake up, not out of fear of death, but of slipping into unconsciousness. So, I tried to keep myself awake, occasionally looking up at the stars, recalling the astronomy knowledge from my school days, and observing the surroundings to distract myself and make time pass faster.
The night was long, and negative emotions would suddenly overwhelm me, but I tried my best to divert my attention. That night felt like an eternity, filled with contemplation, experiences, and endurance, both mentally and physically. It was perhaps the most wretched night of my life, leading me to realize many things and deeply feel the essence and beauty of life. I regretted some of my past actions, but it wasn't too late. This night would undoubtedly have a profound impact on my future path.
Finally, the next morning arrived. The sky was getting brighter, the sun about to rise, and I, sleepless and damp with dew on my hair and clothes, felt weak and exhausted. The house remained silent, and checking my phone, I saw it was already 4 a.m., with over three hours left before work.
In about an hour, around 5 a.m., a boat would arrive at the riverbank, and I could finally go back. Feeling cold, hungry, and extremely weak, I had to endure for one more hour. For the first time, I wished time would pass quickly, feeling each minute was unbearably long.
As I waited, there was suddenly a noise from inside the house. It seemed Nathan and Katniss had woken up, engaging in conversation. My body was weak, my hearing diminished, and the morning chill surpassed that of the previous night. I still couldn't make out what Nathan and Katniss were saying. About ten minutes later, with a refreshing exclamation from Katniss, my spirits seemed to lift a bit. I had already guessed the meaning behind her exclamation, confirming my suspicions. Following Katniss's exclamation, a series of moans and sounds of physical intimacy ensued.
Numb to it all, I had already anticipated that this precious night wouldn't end without one final celebration. As I listened to Nathan and Katniss's morning lovemaking, I waited for the time to pass. When it finally did, I didn't want to listen anymore. It was time for me to leave. Otherwise, Nathan and Katniss would be waking up soon. I didn't know how many climaxes they had in that hour. I didn't look up to see, just listened and speculated. My mind was completely confused, unable to distinguish how many times it had happened. The sounds of Nathan and Katniss's lovemaking seemed like a farewell song to me. I walked unsteadily towards the riverbank, exhausted and slow, but resolute. The sounds of their intimacy slowly faded as I walked away, until there was silence. The gate of the power station appeared in front of me. This time, I wouldn't turn back.
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