Chapter 230
"Driver, stop the car. I need to make a quick stop at home. I'll go back to the office on my own later." Seeing the scene of my apartment building, I blurted out these words to the driver, and after saying it, even I was surprised. It was as if those words were spoken by another soul borrowing my body.
"Alright, Mr. Smith." The others at the company knew I was Mia's successor, and now I held the position of vice president, so the driver stopped the car after saying a word.
I got out of the car and started walking towards my apartment building. Since I had just passed by my apartment building and asked the driver to stop, I wasn't actually close to my home at that moment. I didn't know what I was feeling at that moment. Why did I get out of the car? Did I really want to go home now? If Nathan and Katniss were making love, wouldn't I be interrupting them by going back?
When I reached the entrance of my apartment building, I circled around it to confirm it was indeed where I lived. Katniss's bedroom light was off, but Nathan's bedroom light was on, with the curtains drawn. I stood in front of my apartment door, took out my keys, and unlocked the building door. Step by step, I walked towards my apartment floor, my steps light. It was already late at night, the floor was quiet, and the closer I got to my home, the more complex my emotions became. My breathing was uneven. Although I was walking slowly, my home's door soon appeared in front of me.
Looking at that familiar door, I hesitated. What about the promises I made to Nathan and Katniss during the day? Didn't I repeatedly assure them that I wouldn't mind? Was I really going home now? What would Nathan and Katniss think? If they were opening up to each other and suddenly I came back, wouldn't it show that I still didn't trust them? What about Katniss's illness?
Standing at the door, countless thoughts echoed in my mind. My hand was tightly gripping the key to the door. I took out the key, found the key to my apartment, and as the key was about to touch the lock, I hesitated. Opening the door at that moment would lead to a series of consequences. Even if something had happened between them, it wouldn't be as casual and open-minded as before. My opening the door would undoubtedly startle the snake. The night was so quiet now. Even if I unlocked the door quietly, it might still disturb Nathan and Katniss.
I withdrew the key, put it back in my pocket, and pressed my ear against the door. Unfortunately, the soundproof door was different from the bedroom door. It was well soundproofed and secure. I listened carefully on the other side of the door, but all I could hear was the occasional sound of a car honking outside. I listened for a long time but heard nothing. I sighed and then sat down on the stairs. I took out a crumpled pack of cigarettes from my pocket, lit one, and sat there smoking. As the head of the family, I was sitting outside instead of going in, sitting on the stairs smoking, not caring if I dirtied my expensive evening suit. My emotions were complicated. Were they in the middle of something? Foreplay or already engaged in intercourse? Or maybe nothing had happened, and Nathan was just awake late at night and couldn't sleep, hence the lights on?
Countless thoughts raced through my mind. I stood up, took out the key again, wanting to open the door, even if just for a moment to listen for any sound, any hint of what Nathan and Katniss were up to. But as the key was about to enter the keyhole again, I hesitated once more. I turned around, picked up the cigarette butt from the stairs, and walked downstairs, ready to leave.
The reason I was so conflicted was that my encrypted device was inside the house, not with me. If I had it with me, I could have gone back to the office to check on the computer. But I couldn't open the door, let alone retrieve the encrypted device. Instead of wasting time hesitating at my doorstep, it was better to go back to the office to review what I had learned or just rest.
After leaving the apartment, the temperature seemed even colder. I checked the time; it was already past eleven at night. I had been hesitating at my doorstep for almost half an hour. I walked to the street outside my building and, before getting into a taxi, I took one last look at my home and then headed towards the office.
Back at the office, I took a long time to calm down and review the day's achievements, including the contacts and positions of various individuals. I entered all the business card information into my computer for future networking purposes. In today's society, networking equals money. After finishing the task, I lay down in the lounge to rest. I couldn't remember how many stars I counted before falling asleep. Before falling asleep, I checked my phone countless times, afraid of missing a call from Katniss. I knew I was deceiving myself. Katniss wouldn't dare disturb me, whether something had happened between her and Nathan or not.
The next morning, Mia arrived early and checked the results of my work from the previous night, nodding in satisfaction. We then began our day of learning together. I tried to control my thoughts, not letting myself wander aimlessly. By the time I made it to the afternoon, it was finally time to leave work. I drove home, knowing that something must have happened last night because Katniss hadn't called me during the day. This indicated that she wasn't forgetting me or avoiding me but simply couldn't face me, indirectly confirming my suspicions that something had indeed happened between her and Nathan.
When I arrived at the apartment building and parked the car, I walked towards my home. As I reached the doorstep, I took a deep breath, trying to appear as normal as possible, not showing any negative emotions to avoid affecting the atmosphere at home. I took out the keys, and this time, I could finally open the door. I stepped inside to find a prepared dinner and Katniss sitting at the table. When Katniss saw me open the door, she was momentarily stunned, as if she had just been awakened by the sound of the door opening, interrupting her thoughts.
"Honey, you're back." After glancing at me, Katniss quickly averted her gaze, then bent down to take my shoes, just as she always did. However, this time, Katniss seemed a bit flustered. I noticed her hands trembling slightly as she handled the shoes and bag, indicating her high level of anxiety.
"Where's Dad?" Not seeing Nathan around, I couldn't help but ask.
"Dad went to the island this afternoon and found some damage to the protective measures. So, he's staying overnight to repair them with the electric company workers. He won't be coming back tonight." Katniss's body trembled slightly when I mentioned Nathan, and her voice quivered as she explained.
After acknowledging her response, I didn't press further. I wasn't sure if Nathan's absence that night was due to actual issues on the island or if he was avoiding facing me that day to ease the tension. I didn't dwell on it or directly ask Katniss about the events of the previous night. I freshened up and started eating. Katniss kept serving me food, but she remained somewhat silent, her eyes avoiding mine, showing signs of inner turmoil.
"What's wrong? Sweetheart, why are you so nervous?" Since I had agreed to the situation and couldn't blame Nathan and Katniss, I couldn't let Katniss feel tense and awkward. To ease her discomfort, I greeted Katniss as gently as possible.
"Nothing, really." Katniss's cheeks reddened, and she shook her head, looking somewhat melancholic.
"Sweetheart, everything was my decision. Don't feel pressured. I won't blame you. As long as you're okay, everything else is fine. I can endure it all." I set down my utensils and held Katniss's hand. After hearing my words, Katniss finally dared to meet my gaze. She looked at me, tears welling up in her eyes, eventually streaming down her face.
"Honey, I'm sorry. I hate myself. I wish I could die." Katniss suddenly threw herself into my arms, crying. It was evident that she was truly heartbroken.
I didn't say anything else but held Katniss, comforting her with silent gestures to let her know I didn't blame her. Through my studies with Mia during this period, I had gradually changed my perspective. After understanding the causes and consequences, I truly had no right to blame Katniss anymore. The price Katniss paid was greater than mine. She had developed a sex addiction, a condition she couldn't disclose to anyone. If others found out, she would lose all dignity in this world. Only Nathan, Katniss, and I knew about Katniss's sex addiction, and we wouldn't let a fourth person find out, including Michael and Sophia.
"Sweetheart, don't be sad. Everything will pass, and everything will get better." Katniss gradually stopped crying, and I repeated my words.
"Honey, you've been wronged." Katniss lowered her head, unable to meet my eyes, speaking through sobs. I knew what she meant by feeling wronged – letting her wife betray her father.
At that moment, I wanted to ask Katniss how many times she and Nathan had been together the previous night, how it happened, and if they were satisfied. But it wasn't the right time to ask Katniss now. If she misunderstood, she might think I was mocking her. So, I decided not to ask anything. Once I retrieved the encrypted device, I would be able to see everything clearly. Now I was finally sure that Nathan and Katniss had made love last night, and it happened with my consent.
Now the only thing I was curious about was how it happened between them, whether it was initiated by Nathan or Katniss, how many times they were intimate, if it was wild, and if they maintained a certain level of restraint and decorum. When I saw Katniss starting to clear the table, still looking troubled, I knew she needed time to adjust and cope. I went back to the bedroom, retrieved the encrypted device from the cabinet, placed it in my briefcase, and reminded myself not to be careless like the previous night. Without the device, I had almost driven myself crazy with indecision. After sorting everything out, I sat on the couch watching TV. With Nathan not at home that night, it was a good opportunity for me to have a private conversation with Katniss.
Occasionally, I glanced at Katniss. Despite her tear-stained face from crying earlier, she now had a rosy complexion, completely different from her despondent state the day before. All these signs indicated what had happened the night before. Thinking about it made me feel somewhat inferior. I chuckled bitterly, realizing that my state after taking the medication was truly not as good as Nathan's natural state.
I waited, wondering if Katniss would confess something to me voluntarily. She didn't know I could see everything that happened between her and Nathan, nor did she know about the surveillance cameras in the house. If she did confess something, would she hide anything? When the time came, I could compare what Katniss said with what the cameras captured to see if she was being truthful.