Chapter 190
After seeing the results on the report, I was at a loss, feeling numb all over, trembling, sweat dripping down my face. My brain seemed to have lost consciousness. I felt like an addict in need of a fix, craving something to quench my thirst. Did I just take drugs? I didn't know what to look for, what to do. Oh, right, a cigarette. I picked up the pack with trembling hands, took one out with my fingers shaking, dropped one on the floor, and after fumbling with the pack, I finally managed to get one to my mouth. I lit it with shaky hands after many attempts.
I took a deep drag, using all my lung capacity, not wasting a bit, inhaling the smoke into my lungs. After a deep drag, the trembling emotions in my body eased a bit. I kept puffing away, one after another, as if there was no end.
The reason for my state was Olivia's paternity test report, which showed that Olivia and I had no biological relationship. In other words, Olivia was not my daughter. Another report revealed the relationship between me, Nathan, Olivia, and Nathan. It showed that Olivia and I shared genes from the same father, meaning Olivia was not my biological daughter but my half-sister. It all seemed so ridiculous. Was this all real? Why was God playing such a cruel joke on me?
Was the paternity test report wrong? The personal signature of the paternity test expert and the stamp of LabCorp on it indicated the legal effect of the report and the legal responsibility involved. Who would dare to falsify it? Everything was real. Who could tell me what was really going on?
But at that moment, I was just focused on smoking, not thinking, as my brain was blank. The unexpected results of the test left me feeling betrayed and deceived. Katniss and Nathan having a child together meant they had not ended their intimate relationship over the past five years. Were they sneaking around, having secret encounters in hotels? Where could I find the answers?
This outcome was different from before. This time, I felt betrayed and deceived, naked betrayal and deception. I had accepted everything about Katniss and Nathan before, their intimacy, their wedding, but wasn't God's punishment already enough? Why did I have to lose the daughter I had finally gained, only to have her become someone else's? I was completely betrayed by Katniss.
As time passed, my brain slowly began to clear up, and I sat limp in the computer chair like a puppet. The ashtray on the computer desk was filled with cigarette butts. I had lost count of how many cigarettes I had smoked unconsciously. How could I find the answers? I threw away the last cigarette butt, then crazily opened the computer monitor, replaying the footage, searching again. But all my efforts were in vain. I had watched the surveillance footage from beginning to end at least three times, but found no anomalies. Had Nathan or Katniss discovered the surveillance cameras long ago? Were they just acting normal under surveillance, pretending for my benefit? Were they covering up the truth with their performance?
After aimlessly flipping through days of surveillance videos, I closed it. I slammed my fists hard on the computer desk, causing the monitor to shake, but I felt no pain in my hands. My hands pounded the desk, and scenes of Nathan and Katniss replayed in my mind, from the first time I showed Katniss a virus plugin with incestuous themes, to the scene where I had Katniss search Nathan's room for a phone. Every scene played out vividly in my mind, up to the present moment.
Sitting in the chair, I laughed. At first, I thought I was the manipulator, the planner, the decision-maker, the one in control of everything. I secretly enjoyed watching the events unfold as I had planned. Seeing Nathan and Katniss making love, my beloved Katniss moaning under the seemingly dull Nathan. It was indeed thrilling, albeit bittersweet, with a strange sense of satisfaction. But as things progressed, I lost control, and events took a turn I didn't want, spiraling out of my grasp, leading to this situation, where they even had a daughter, and I foolishly raised my half-sister as my own daughter for so many years.
"Fortune-telling? Prophecy? Fuck!" At that moment, I remembered the words of the fortune teller covered in vitiligo who said everything would turn out fine, everything would get better. Why was I so foolish back then? Me, with a higher education, a believer in scientific truth through realism, actually believed a charlatan. I had studied cases of fortune-telling scams more than once in school. Perhaps even the incident of my wife's infidelity was predicted and deduced by that fortune teller? Maybe it was all just guesswork, not actual divination. After all, without keen observation and subtle probing, how could one deceive people through fortune-telling? Maybe the man covered in vitiligo was punished by God for his sins, or perhaps even his own story was a lie. His legs were probably not broken by a car but by someone for making false predictions.
My brain was recalling scene after scene, and my thoughts seemed to be getting more and more pessimistic. This paternity test report shattered my last bit of hope and motivation for life, making me feel like my remaining years were meaningless. Even if Olivia was truly Nathan's child and not mine, I wouldn't be in this state. What I couldn't accept was the concealment, betrayal, and deception. I never imagined that my beloved Katniss would hide such a big thing from me. She no longer loved me, truly didn't love me. I tolerated it when she allowed Nathan to kiss her, to penetrate her; I tolerated it when she allowed Nathan to have doggy-style intercourse with her; I even tolerated it when she and Nathan made love in wedding attire. But this, the concealment, the deception, I would not tolerate. When everyone returned, I would confront Katniss and Nathan face to face, demanding to know why they did such a thing. Where did they place me when they created the life of Olivia?
I gritted my teeth. Perhaps if there was a mirror in front of me at that moment, I would see my eyes already red. Birthdays, family gatherings, I no longer cared. When they all returned, I would confront them. Jennifer would understand everything. If Katniss and Nathan couldn't explain, I would divorce Katniss, Jennifer would divorce Nathan, I would sever all ties with Nathan, and Katniss and Nathan, as betrayers, would leave with nothing, and the children would be with me, as well as the assets. Katniss would become a wanton woman who betrayed her husband, Nathan would become a beastly father who stole his son's wife. They would be condemned and ostracized by all relatives, friends, and colleagues. They would not be able to survive in this city, forever enduring the criticisms behind their backs, while I would be left to raise Simon alone. Katniss would leave with Nathan and Olivia, and they might become a family, but no, Nathan had already become a wreck, they couldn't possibly live together. And I would be completely alone, subjected to the mockery of colleagues and friends, becoming the subject of gossip.
These impending scenes kept flashing in my mind, and although they might all be speculation and imagination, they were rational and certain to happen. Could I really accept such a shattered family? Could I bear losing Katniss, Nathan, and Olivia? Could Jennifer and Nathan, at their age, withstand this torment? As someone who cared about reputation, a relatively successful person in society, could I handle the rumors and gossip that would come?
My hands clenched tightly. Sometimes I really hated myself. Why did I have so many concerns? Why was I so rational, always having a pile of reasons in my heart to dissuade myself whenever something happened? Sometimes I truly envied those who were impulsive and irrational, at least they could vent, not keep everything bottled up inside, be happy when happy, and sad when sad.
I looked up at the wall behind the computer, where our wedding photo with Katniss was hanging. In the picture, we looked so young, with me showing strength and sunshine on my face, while Katniss looked pure, beautiful, and extraordinary, with a sweet smile that made her seem so innocent. But everything had changed now. Katniss had intimate relations with other men, and had a child with someone else. As I looked at Katniss in the wedding photo, bitterness filled my heart. Memories of us in various scenes on campus flooded back, and tears finally streamed down my face. All the suppressed emotions in my heart had turned into tears, salty, bitter, and acrid, reflecting the taste in my heart.
I slowly stood up, then grabbed the huge fabric wedding photo. I believed that my current emotions could give me the strength to tear the photo to shreds, but as I touched it, it felt like an electric shock, making me retract my hand like lightning. What used to be a warm home now filled me with fear.
I looked down at the time on the computer screen. Katniss and the others would be back in over half an hour, and they would never suspect that such a big event had happened at home. Katniss and Nathan would never imagine that their hidden secret had been discovered by me. I stared blankly at the computer desktop, where the wallpaper was also our wedding photo with Katniss, but now it all seemed so hypocritical and glaring in my eyes.
What was the truth? How did Katniss and Nathan manage to conceive Olivia under my watch? My eyes stared blankly at the computer desktop, and suddenly a light bulb went off in my mind. Right, the computer, the logs, Katniss's logs. Since I believed that Katniss and Nathan had ended their relationship over the past five years, I hadn't bothered to check Katniss's logs again. While reviewing the surveillance footage, I had seen Katniss sitting at the computer, but because I was looking for specific details, all her computer activities had flashed by. Katniss must have written about the incident of her and Nathan having a child in her logs, as she couldn't tell anyone about it and could only vent online. The last time I read Katniss's logs was when Nathan was sick, but back then, I read them with indifference and only checked the latest post, not paying attention to whether there were logs from before that I hadn't read.
Thinking about this, I quickly logged into Katniss's forum with trembling hands, desperate to find answers. How did they manage to conceive a child? Where and when did it happen? What was Katniss's state of mind at the time? Soon, I finally logged into the interface of Katniss's forum, opened all the log lists, and indeed, below the post Katniss wrote when Nathan was sick a few days ago, there were two older posts that I had never read, with one of them dated over four years ago.
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