Chapter 206
"Honey, can we sleep in the bedroom tonight, okay?" Katniss returned to the bedroom and gently said to me, her smile carrying a hint of pleading.
"Let's talk, okay?" I didn't answer her words, instead patting the bed nearby, gesturing for her to sit down.
"Okay, sure." Katniss hesitated slightly upon hearing my words, as it was the first time since I woke up with amnesia that I took the initiative to chat with her. She felt something different, but couldn't pinpoint where the feeling came from.
"Tell me about our experiences since we met, starting from the beginning, don't leave out any details. I want to hear it all, I'm listening." I remembered all the experiences of getting to know Katniss, but I had never heard her side of the story. I didn't know how much she remembered, or if it matched my memories.
"I was actually thinking about finding a chance to talk to you, it might help you recover your memory." Upon hearing my words, Katniss first showed a hint of joy, thinking I was trying to recall our past memories.
Katniss began to reminisce, starting with the early days of our acquaintance. Our relationship started sweetly, and as I listened to Katniss's recounting, I unknowingly got lost in the memories. Both of us had happy smiles on our faces. Amidst the reminiscing, there were occasional moments of sadness, but compared to the happiness, they seemed insignificant. Through Katniss's narrative, I truly felt all the emotions she went through during that time. Ultimately, all her inner feelings boiled down to happiness; she never regretted marrying me. Katniss's storytelling was detailed, and before we knew it, over an hour had passed. She stopped before recounting her relationship with Nathan, perhaps not wanting to remember or show any flaws.
"Is that all? Nothing else?" I looked at Katniss, who was drinking water due to thirst, and couldn't help but ask. Would Katniss confess voluntarily? Even if there was a slight possibility, I wouldn't give up.
"It's just some minor details, nothing more." Katniss paused her drinking and replied with a smile, a hint of embarrassment and guilt in her expression. Perhaps she didn't want to recall certain things, or she had been avoiding them in her heart.
"How did I get into trouble? How did I fall into the river? How did I lose my memory? You haven't told me yet." I pressed on, and my questioning may have touched on the most frightening and evasive issue for Katniss. The empty water glass in her hand almost slipped to the ground.
"Didn't Mom and Jennifer tell you about this?" Katniss often privately communicated with Jennifer and others about my condition to understand it better. She knew Jennifer and Sophia had conversations with me, and I didn't find it strange at all.
"I want to hear it from you. Maybe it's different from what they said." I stared at Katniss, my eyes fixed on hers. Unconsciously, my words had become somewhat intimidating.
"There's nothing different, it was just an accident, an accident." Katniss was a bit hesitant now, avoiding eye contact with me and her voice trembling. Already fearful and anxious, she now seemed very timid in the face of the terrifying gaze I held.
"I just want to hear you say it again." I persisted because I wanted to hear how Katniss would respond. If she confessed, apologized, or explained voluntarily, I would give her one last chance. Her attitude at this moment would determine our final outcome.
"Okay, if you want to hear it, I'll explain." Startled by my implied severity, Katniss lowered her head and responded. Her body was starting to tremble slightly, her hands gripping the cup tightly, the joints turning slightly white due to the force.
"At that time, Nathan and Jennifer were about to get married, Jennifer wasn't home, so we, we went to keep Nathan company and help him tidy up the house. After finishing up in the evening, you and Nathan drank a lot, a lot of alcohol. As a result of the alcohol, you saw Jennifer's wedding photo and wanted to relive the scene of our wedding." Katniss took a deep breath and began the lie she had concocted with Nathan. However, she was too guilty and nervous, with occasional pauses in her speech, and she still couldn't meet my eyes. Perhaps the tension had made her body damp with sweat; she had never been this nervous since we met.
As Katniss narrated, my hands were clenched tightly on the desk. I shouldn't have been so angry all along, after all, I was the one who pushed Katniss and Nathan into an incestuous relationship. From another perspective, I was the instigator of this whole thing. But I always believed that Katniss only had physical intimacy with Nathan, while all her love was for me. So I indulged in this forbidden thrill with confidence. I just didn't expect things to spiral out of control. When I saw Katniss dressing Nathan in a wedding dress, I completely broke down. All my worries and suspicions erupted. Katniss dressing Nathan in a wedding dress was her way of repaying Nathan's love for her, but did she not love Nathan in her heart? Perhaps even she didn't know the answer. If it weren't for that moment when Katniss dressed Nathan in a wedding dress, things might not have escalated to this point.
"Alright, that's finally the whole story." The lie concocted with Nathan was finally told, and Katniss breathed a sigh of relief. At this moment, she finally looked up at me with a hint of guilt and fear in her eyes. But after narrating for so long, my heart had already numbed, my face devoid of any expression except for deep disappointment. Although I knew that Katniss was trying to maintain our relationship by concealing the truth from me under the guise of my amnesia, from an outsider's perspective, it might have been the best choice. But I hoped she would confess to me voluntarily, at least to show a certain attitude, a willingness to admit her mistakes. However, at this moment, she disappointed me.
"Do you really love me? Now." I closed my eyes, took a deep breath of the already murky air in the room, then opened my eyes and asked. At this moment, I felt like I had lost all my strength, both physically and emotionally.
"I love you very much. I wouldn't know how to live without you. If you hadn't woken up this time, if you had died, after raising Simon to adulthood, I would have followed you." Katniss dared to look me in the eyes at this moment, her words filled with determination. Hearing her words, I couldn't help but want to believe, but could I? If it weren't for the scene with the island wedding dress, I would have believed without a doubt. But now, I hesitated.
"Has anyone betrayed our marriage between us since we met? Has either of us cheated? I'm curious." Katniss didn't confess, so I couldn't help but provoke her again with my words, hoping she would be honest with me. Although this question seemed normal, it was already very sensitive. If I had to leave with Simon, leaving my home, my family, and the Katniss I had sworn to be with, there was a lot of reluctance in my heart, a sense of injustice, and a final glimmer of hope. If Katniss confessed, apologized, and assured me, I would do my best to maintain the integrity of our family. My eyes were filled with anticipation and excitement, waiting for Katniss's next response.
Katniss sensed some inexplicable emotions in my eyes and began to panic and worry. My last few questions were very sensitive, the issues she and Nathan had always tried to conceal and avoid. But I kept pressing. After I asked these questions, Katniss's breathing became rapid, but she was afraid of revealing any flaws, so she tried to remain composed. Even though I had amnesia, I wasn't foolish.
"No, we've always been respectful and intimate. You've been the pillar of this family, and our relationship has never had any cracks." Katniss didn't meet my eyes, and although her words might have been true before this incident, she cleverly avoided giving a direct answer, essentially not answering at all.
"Has anyone between us ever cheated?" My patience was wearing thin, and I couldn't help but ask again, clearly expressing the direction of my question. I also hoped that everything that had happened before was just a dream, and that I would wake up one day to find it all unreal. But reality was cruel. When I reviewed the video playback earlier, I saw the sex tapes of Nathan and Katniss from before, labeled with dates and the number of times they had sex. After waking up, I firmly believed that everything had actually happened.
"No, we've always been loving, and no one has ever cheated." Katniss forced a faint smile and denied it again. She didn't confess to me, and I lost my last bit of patience. Despite her efforts and care for me over the past few days, I had felt a touch of emotion, but her current evasiveness and concealment had completely ignited my anger and disappointment to the maximum. The new anger mixed with the old anger erupted all at once.
"Enough." Before Katniss could finish, I couldn't contain myself and shouted, cutting off her words. My sudden shout in the quiet room at night sounded very clear and loud.
Katniss was entangled in her own thoughts, narrating her lies, and my sudden shout startled her. The blanket in her hand slipped to the floor with a muffled sound.
"Honey, what's wrong with you?" Katniss was almost unable to hide her emotions, looking embarrassed at me. By now, I was furious, my eyes burning with anger, my breathing extremely rapid, and the upper half of my body on the chair rising and falling with each breath. Katniss seemed to sense something, but she still held onto a glimmer of hope, thinking I was just mentally unstable after waking up with amnesia.
"Do you really think I've lost my memory, Katniss?" I erupted with all my pent-up emotions, not with a shout this time, but slowly uttering these words, coldness evident in my tone. After waking up, I had never called her by name, always using 'you' to address her. Now, for the first time since waking up, I used her name, Katniss, and all the familiar feelings seemed to return, but they were tinged with fear.
Katniss, who was picking up the cup and trying to divert her gaze and her inner fear, suddenly stopped. She sat on the edge of the bed, still bent over, her hand reaching for the blanket but not picking it up. She remained motionless, and I couldn't see her expression, but I noticed her body starting to tremble. It wasn't a slight tremor but a fearful one, accompanied by rapid, almost sobbing breaths.
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