Chapter 157 Acceptance
After Katniss got back to bed, she tossed and turned, occasionally checking her phone, but she seemed restless, unable to sit still. I fast-forwarded, and after half an hour of tossing and turning in bed, Katniss finally got up, opened her computer. After casually browsing a few news websites, she opened that adult forum and started writing in her journal. Seeing this scene, I couldn't help but feel excited because I knew that the best way to understand Katniss's inner thoughts was through reading her journal. I knew that I would gain something from reading Katniss's journal.
After writing for about forty minutes, Katniss closed her computer, then lay back in bed. After tossing and turning for a while, under the impact of fatigue, she gradually quieted down and fell asleep until Nathan and I came back. I turned off the monitoring and glanced back at Katniss lying in bed. It was clear that she was truly tired and exhausted. I opened the forum with relief, logged into Katniss's account, and then opened the journal entry she had just written an hour ago:
"Time flies, especially recently, I have experienced the ups and downs of life, joy and sadness. What makes me happy is that I finally confirmed that I am not pregnant after the check-up, which relieved my worries. And my relationship with Kevin has finally returned to normal, this sudden change makes me feel a bit unreal. The only thing that troubles me is whether Kevin has found out about me and Nathan. I still haven't figured it out. Based on my current feelings, my husband should not know, otherwise, knowing Kevin 's personality, he could forgive Nathan but would never forgive me. So, it seems that my affair with Nathan has not been exposed. To be honest, this period has scared me a lot, and I even had thoughts of suicide. Actually, Kevin has been under a lot of work and family pressure recently, so his temper has been unpredictable. I should give him more love.
As for my relationship with Nathan, after that night when Kevin was at home and Nathan and I had a sexual encounter, I regretted it deeply when I woke up. So, I have decided to end the affair with Nathan to avoid further trouble. However, the indulgence I had with Nathan keeps coming back to my mind, the excitement and pleasure make it hard for me to forget. But everything must come to an end someday, after all, I am supposed to live my life with Kevin , not Nathan.
Recently, it seems that there is finally a solution to the situation. Nathan suddenly suggested that Kevin help him find a partner and move out of the house. When I heard this news, I was shocked, as I understood Nathan's intentions. He is not genuinely looking for a partner, as he had always refused to do so before, and he wants to move out to avoid something. His thoughts are similar to mine, we are both afraid, afraid of the day of exposure, it's better late than never.
But my heart feels very complicated. When I heard that Nathan wanted to find a partner, I suddenly felt a hint of resentment towards him, as if Nathan had betrayed me. But now, when I think about it, what reason do I have to resent Nathan? Although we had a flirtatious intimate relationship, I am forever his daughter-in-law in name, I can never give him love and a family, as I cannot leave Kevin . I can give love and a family to Kevin , but besides my body, I can't give Nathan anything.
Although I feel reluctant about Nathan finding a partner and moving out, I must force myself to accept it for the sake of my family, Kevin , and our son. Perhaps this is the best outcome. There is no perfect ending in the world, these days I need to adjust my mindset to prepare for the sudden appearance of Jennifer. As for Nathan, I have never hated him, except for the first time he raped me. And what can I give him now? I can only give him my deep blessings, I have to force myself to be happy for him to find happiness in his later years."
After reading Katniss's relatively short journal entry compared to before, it contained a lot of emotions. Firstly, I confirmed my speculation that Katniss indeed feels reluctant towards Nathan, with a hint of jealousy and bitterness. It seems that after such a long period of intimacy, Katniss has developed a sense of Nathan being exclusively hers, although this doesn't prove that Katniss has completely fallen in love with Nathan, it undeniably confirms that Katniss has something more than just familial affection towards Nathan, although it still pales in comparison to what she feels for me.
Things happened suddenly, and Katniss needs some time to adjust and change her role, as well as her emotions and mindset, to welcome Jennifer, a stranger who will suddenly become part of the family. Although the journal entry made me feel a bit jealous, the ending of the journal entry indicated Katniss's acceptance. Katniss is rational, and once her attitude is understood, everything will be easier. Although both Nathan and Katniss are not completely willing to accept this situation, I believe that soon they will return to their normal roles and adapt to the changes in the family.
The next day, I called my college friend George and told him about my intention to rearrange Nathan's work. After my repeated assurances, he finally agreed to arrange a new position for Nathan as a patrol officer.
Three days later, Jennifer and Emily came to our house for a gathering. On that day, Katniss and I took the afternoon off to prepare at home, making a lot of dishes. In the evening, Jennifer and Emily arrived at our house. It was also Katniss's first time meeting Jennifer, but fortunately, after these two days of adjustment, Katniss seemed to be in a better state of mind. When she met Jennifer, there were no sparks as I had imagined.
Originally, Katniss and I were supposed to cook dinner. However, at Jennifer's strong insistence, Jennifer took over the cooking, and Nathan rightfully helped on the side. Katniss and I chatted with Emily in the living room, while Nathan and Jennifer cooked in the kitchen. Although Katniss seemed to have adjusted her mindset, her gaze would unintentionally drift towards the kitchen, and every time she heard Nathan and Jennifer chatting and laughing in the kitchen, Katniss would either lower her head or sigh softly. She concealed it well, appearing normal to outsiders, but I could detect the subtle signs. It was evident that although Katniss seemed firm in her journal, when faced with the situation, she was somewhat unnatural. It seems that it will take some time for Katniss to fully accept the situation.
At the dinner table, this soon-to-be blended family was harmonious. Katniss and I sat together, Nathan and Jennifer sat together, while Emily sat alone on the other side. We discussed the future arrangements for Nathan and Jennifer, and both Jennifer and Emily had no objections, as they were getting older and had simple requirements for life. I arranged for them to live a rural life, and Jennifer, being from a rural background, naturally was delighted, just like Nathan, full of anticipation for the future. Everything went surprisingly smoothly, without any disagreements or obstacles, so it seemed that this matter was settled.
At the dinner table, Katniss and Nathan would occasionally exchange knowing glances, but as soon as their eyes met, they would quickly avert their gazes, and a subtle awkwardness and hidden sadness would appear on their faces. However, they both endured it, maintaining harmony at the dinner table. Katniss politely greeted Jennifer at the table and praised Jennifer's excellent cooking skills. Indeed, Jennifer's culinary skills impressed us, and finding such a capable and simple partner for Nathan could be considered a form of compensation for him.
With someone's help, things are more convenient. In just two days, George gave me the results. This time, he arranged a new place for Nathan, not a small island, but a relatively large island in the middle of a lake. The island has electricity, internet, and even a few residents living there. The island is quite large, with many small boats shuttling back and forth, making it very convenient. However, this island is newly developed by Zephyr Energy Solutions Company, still under construction, but nearing completion, it will be ready for use in less than half a month.
For Nathan's safety, Nathan, Jennifer, and I took the time to visit the island. The island is large and beautiful, with high terrain, and the patrol officer residence built by Zephyr Energy Solutions Company on the island is very good. Brick houses, very clean, two bedrooms, with water and electricity, much better than our old house in the countryside. Most importantly, George was very generous, he even specially provided Nathan with a speedboat, ostensibly for Nathan to patrol the entire island, but in reality, it was to give Nathan some enjoyment in his later years.
Nathan and Jennifer were very satisfied with this future residence. As for the salary and benefits, those were optional things, the two of them toured the island, Jennifer was full of curiosity and love, looking forward to the future. However, Nathan, looking at this secluded island, although he had a smile on his face, occasionally a hint of reminiscence, a touch of bitterness, and a sense of confusion about the future would appear on his face. Seeing Nathan like this, I knew that deep down, he also had some reluctance, and I could only hope that Jennifer could soothe his wounded heart, so that he could forget the past sooner and truly enjoy happiness in his later years.
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