Chapter 78: Haggard
Tonight is a sleepless night for us. I sit in front of the computer, looking at everything in the house, without any sleepiness for a long time. I smoked one expired cigarette after another from the drawer. At night, when the security guard patrolled and saw me sitting in front of the office computer, he thought I was working late at night. After exchanging a few greetings with me, the office fell back into silence, with only the sound coming from the headphones echoing.
After finishing tidying up, Katniss sat blankly on the sofa in the living room, hands hanging on both sides, eyes staring ahead, not knowing what she was thinking. At this moment, she had no emotions, as if she had lost her soul, only the roar of the washing machine.
Nathan tossed and turned in the bedroom, occasionally looking towards the direction of the living room, with a worried expression on his face, sometimes frowning, sometimes sighing. He lightly got out of bed several times, but when he hesitated after putting his hand on the door handle, he had to give up and return to bed. Perhaps because Nathan was not at ease and wanted to talk to Katniss proactively, but he seemed to lack the courage.
After 40 minutes, Katniss took out the clean bedsheets and duvet covers, hanging them on the balcony's clothes rack. After completing all this, Katniss turned off the lights in the living room and returned to our bedroom. She curled up on the bed, deep in thought, with no emotions showing on her face.
Seeing the lifeless atmosphere at home, I knew I had a lot of responsibilities, and there were many aftermath tasks that needed to be done.
Slowly, Katniss buried her head in her knees, unable to bear it any longer, and started to silently sob. Her body and shoulders kept trembling, and everything fell into silence.
I didn't know how time passed, and when I finally became conscious, it was already bright outside. A new day began, and the sunlight streamed into the office through the window. The sunlight was the same as every day, everything was so familiar and ordinary, but for me and my family, everything was different from usual, and we couldn't go back to the past. Everything was quietly changing.
Around 6 o'clock, my eyes were still glued to the computer screen, monitoring the videos that had been running all night. I observed every move of Katniss and Nathan, and the house was very quiet in the late night. Katniss remained curled up, sitting on the bed without moving all night, and I really didn't know if her limbs had gone numb. Nathan, in his own bedroom, tossed and turned, sighing from time to time. The three of us seemed to be afraid of the arrival of dawn, because with the dawn, the time for the three of us to meet was getting closer, and they seemed most afraid of my return home.
Around 6:30 in the morning, Katniss was the first to lift her head. Her hair was messy, her eyes swollen from crying, and it was clear from the video that her eyes were bloodshot. She checked the time and silently got out of bed. Life had to go on no matter what. She quietly went to the bathroom to tidy up and put on makeup. In the past, Katniss used to cheerfully wash up and put on makeup, then hum songs while preparing breakfast. But this morning, Katniss slowly tidied up and washed up, as if she had no energy left, like a sick patient.
I knew that at this moment, Katniss had been greatly shaken both physically and mentally, and it was not an exaggeration to say she was like a patient. After finishing up, Katniss, with a haggard face, left for work without preparing breakfast as usual or saying hello to Nathan. This morning, Nathan seemed like a stranger in Katniss's eyes.
Nathan also hadn't slept all night. When he heard Katniss getting ready in the morning, he, like Katniss, sat on the edge of the bed with his legs curled up. He kept glancing towards the door, summoning up courage numerous times, but ultimately couldn't face Katniss. It was only after Katniss left that Nathan, trembling, got out of bed to freshen up. Although Nathan had gained a lot last night, it wasn't just Katniss who was emotionally wounded. Nathan eventually got what he wanted, but at the same time, he was about to pay a heavy price.
After Nathan tidied himself up, he didn't prepare breakfast for himself, perhaps he had no appetite at the moment. He sat on the sofa in the living room, holding our family photo, staring blankly. The family photo included me, Katniss, Simon, and Nathan, the four of us.
When desire arose, he didn't think about his family and responsibilities. When he looked at the family photo, all the emotions started flashing in his heart, and eventually Nathan couldn't help but burst into tears while looking at the photo.
By 7:30, it was time for me to start work at my company. Reluctantly, I shut down the computer. Taking a deep breath, since I often worked late at the office, I had my own set of toiletries there. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and after looking at myself in the mirror, I couldn't help but smile bitterly. My eyes were bloodshot too, and the torment of last night affected the three of us. Although I hadn't slept all night, I didn't feel sleepy at all. When the new day began at the company, I tried to focus all my energy on work, but my mind couldn't fully engage, and I was lost in thought all day.
I was afraid of getting off work, yet looking forward to it. After what happened yesterday, Katniss's position in my heart was becoming more and more important. When she made love with Nathan yesterday, I felt as if she was going to leave me, and the worry and heartache at that moment were something I had never experienced before. It's true that you only realize the value of something after losing it. Through last night's events, not only did I not blame her, but she became even more important to me.
By four o'clock in the afternoon, which was Katniss's quitting time, I had thought of calling her numerous times throughout the day, but I couldn't figure out what to say to her, so I ended up giving up. Although I had confidence in Katniss's emotional strength, I still couldn't help but worry.
At four o'clock, as the workday was winding down, I reopened the computer video during my break.
Katniss hadn't returned home yet, and Nathan's mood seemed to have improved slightly, although he still looked haggard. He was busy in the kitchen. Looking at the dishes being prepared, it seemed like dinner would be rich tonight. Nathan was carefully preparing each dish, perhaps trying to make amends for the family?
As Nathan cooked, he occasionally walked to the living room to check the time. He seemed very anxious, but he knew it was inevitable and that he would have to face it sooner or later. By 4:20, Katniss should have been home by then, but she hadn't returned. Could something have happened to her? My heart tightened at the thought, and trembling, I picked up my phone, preparing to call Katniss. But I couldn't muster the courage to dial her number. I was afraid, afraid that my worst fears would come true.
Ten more minutes passed, and seeing that Katniss still hadn't returned, I wiped my sweaty hands and unlocked my phone, ready to call her. But before I could make the call, I heard the sound of the door unlocking in the video.
The door opened, and Katniss, looking exhausted, walked in. Seeing Katniss back home, I breathed a sigh of relief, closed my phone, my palms sweaty. Hearing the sound of the door opening, Nathan, who was busy in the kitchen, suddenly trembled. His hands, chopping vegetables, shook, almost cutting himself.
After a momentary pause, Nathan continued cooking, not daring to face Katniss. When Katniss returned home, she changed her shoes, sat on the sofa in the living room, her face pale with a hint of sorrow. Her eyes were still slightly swollen, but not as obvious as before; she must have used eye drops during the day. After sitting on the sofa, she opened her handbag, took out a few things, but since they were all packaged, I couldn't see what they were.
Nathan continued to busily work in a distracted manner, sweat beading on his forehead. Time passed, and all the dishes were ready, but Nathan didn't have the courage to bring them out. Time passed, and Katniss continued to sit on the sofa, staring straight ahead, lost in thought.
"Come here." The voice was cold, devoid of any emotion, the tone icy to the extreme, unlike the usual tone after a day of calm. Katniss showed no signs of forgiving Nathan.
Upon hearing Katniss's command, Nathan summoned the courage to face everything. He slowly walked into the living room, not daring to look up, vigorously rubbing the apron in front of him with both hands, sweat dripping down his forehead. He looked like a child who had done something wrong, trembling as he approached Katniss.
"Take off your pajamas." This sentence made Nathan and me in front of the computer widen our eyes in disbelief. What was going on? Was Katniss planning to be intimate with Nathan again before I got home? It seemed unlikely, judging from Katniss's behavior. Nathan seemed confused, staring at Katniss with a bewildered and incredulous look.
"Take off your pajamas," Katniss repeated, her eyes coldly fixed on Nathan, with a firm gaze that seemed to suggest she would devour Nathan if he refused.
Faced with Katniss's firm and emotionless gaze, Nathan looked pained and puzzled. Although he didn't know what Katniss was up to, Nathan felt guilty towards her, so he tremblingly removed his apron with both hands, then slowly untied his pajamas, revealing his bare upper body in front of me and Katniss.