Chapter 335
Time seemed to stand still, Katniss turned into a statue, motionless. The videos on the screen kept playing uninterrupted - videos from our bedroom, the living room, the bathroom, the guest room, all revealing one secret after another to Katniss. It included the first time I drugged her, watching their intimate videos while pleasuring myself, and the night I stood outside the guest room door listening to their lovemaking.
As the videos played, Katniss's expression kept changing, mostly showing surprise and disbelief in her eyes. She breathed rapidly throughout, sometimes having to cover her ample chest with delicate hands. Everything that was happening was beyond her imagination; she wouldn't have believed it if she hadn't seen it with her own eyes.
She never expected that everything before was orchestrated by me, and that I could access her online diary, revealing all her secrets.
By the time Katniss finished watching all the videos, including the ones of her alone at home after our divorce, she was paralyzed in her chair, tears streaming down her face. Despite crying, there was a faint smile on her face, albeit a bitter one, as if mocking herself for being a fool, a puppet played by her husband, Kevin.
After fast-forwarding through all the videos, it was already past eight in the evening. Simon was already asleep next door. Katniss hadn't cooked all day or night, ordering takeout for Simon instead. She hadn't eaten a single bite herself, spending all her time watching the videos.
From the moment she discovered the videos to finishing them, over 24 hours had passed. Even in her quick viewing, anyone with common sense could deduce everything from the video. All her secrets were no longer secrets in front of her husband. Both Nathan and she were merely pawns controlled by her husband, and my regrets led to everything that followed.
Katniss lay on the chair, letting tears flow, her eyes staring blankly at the computer screen. She seemed to have lost all her soul, becoming a lifeless body.
Seeing all this, I, too, felt soulless, lying in my chair like Katniss. My heart was in turmoil, as my biggest secret had been completely exposed to Katniss.
In the days leading up to this, my inner unease seemed to foreshadow what was happening now. I should have been more cautious, taken better precautions to keep everything secret, even dismantled the surveillance. But I had been reluctant to do so, clinging to hope, leading to this irreparable situation.
I was now panicking, especially seeing myself hypocritically blaming Katniss after catching her cheating on the island. All the images I had maintained seemed to have been shattered in front of Katniss.
Particularly watching myself masturbating in the videos at home, watching Katniss and Nathan's videos, I felt despicable. My carefully crafted image had been completely destroyed.
In Katniss's eyes, I was a hypocritical, perverted, weak man, a cowardly and shameless man to the extreme.
At the same time, I also realized that Katniss and Nathan's lovemaking might have been a way to retaliate against me, to strike back. After sitting in the chair for a long time, her eyes finally showing a glimmer. She wiped her tears with a tissue, crying softly but for a long time, her eyes now swollen.
After drying her tears, she looked at the photo on the wall behind the computer, our wedding photo. We were happily embracing each other face to face. Katniss bit her lip, her face filled with conflict as she looked at the photo. She then picked up her phone, took a deep breath while looking at it, as if making a decision.
She found my number on the phone, hesitated as her finger hovered over the dial, then sighed and put the phone down.
Her lip-biting showed her inner turmoil. Finally, she got up and slowly left the room, like a soulless body. She walked slowly to the guest room, just like countless times before when I wasn't home, through the dark living room without lights, towards Nathan's room. But this time was different; it was my child's room.
Watching Katniss walk towards the guest room, her emotions uncertain, combined with the excitement of her lovemaking with Nathan the day before, made me wonder. Would Katniss, driven by excitement, lose her sanity and turn to Simon? After all, Simon was now a young boy. Although he couldn't impregnate anyone, he was in his early adolescence. Would Katniss harm him?
Katniss was deeply stimulated at this point. Would she lose her sanity and do something out of the ordinary?
The events that followed seemed to confirm my thoughts. Katniss gently opened Simon's door; he was sleeping in his briefs on the bed, the same bed where Katniss and Nathan had been intimate countless times.
To avoid affecting his development, he was usually not dressed too warmly.
Katniss sat by the bed, looking at Simon. The room was dim, making it hard to see her expression clearly, but her evident conflict and lip-biting were noticeable.
The scene seemed to freeze, everything so familiar. Katniss quietly entered Nathan's room before, finding him asleep, then gently removing his underwear to smell and even progressing to oral sex.
Katniss had seen all these performances in the videos, and at that moment, her face was flushed with embarrassment, feeling exposed and foolish. She had thought her actions were flawless, only to realize her husband had seen everything. She had mocked herself for being naive and foolish.
I was nervous and scared. Katniss had just recovered from her illness, both physically and mentally. Considering her behavior with Nathan the night before, was Katniss losing her mind again? Especially when she didn't refuse Nathan inserting himself anally and seemed to cooperate by arching her back for easier access. Were these actions real or signs of mental instability?
But recalling Katniss's behavior at the time, it seemed different from when she was ill before.
As I pondered these questions, Katniss suddenly reached out to touch Simon. My heart clenched, and I involuntarily stood up from my chair.
My breathing quickened. Despite having fantasies about a promiscuous wife and even a mother-in-law affair, I drew the line at mother-son relationships. Simon was my son, my only hope in life, and I would not allow him to be harmed. If Katniss hurt Simon, I would not spare her, no matter the cost.
It wasn't surprising that I thought this way. Katniss's actions and their past influences aligned perfectly, and now that Katniss knew the whole truth, she couldn't be judged by conventional standards.
In the end, Katniss's hand landed gently on Simon's tender face, stroking it softly. Though the room was dim, I could see glistening tears in Katniss's eyes. She cried as she touched Simon, then kissed him lightly before leaving the room.
I sat back in my chair, wiping my forehead, feeling ashamed of my thoughts. I couldn't believe I had entertained such ideas. Katniss, despite her confusion, knew the importance of Simon in both our lives.
Katniss seemed despondent moments ago, but in the end, she thought of her son, seeking solace and motivation in Simon's room.
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