Chapter 198
Nathan helped Katniss into the ward, their bodies passing through my ethereal body. At that moment, I realized, am I in a soul state? Out of body experience? Do such miraculous things really exist? Is all of this real? Or am I still in a dream? When I was young, I was very interested in supernatural things, you know, young people like novel things. I remember there was a special investigation and report on out of body experiences.
It is said that when people are struggling on the brink of death, they may have near-death experiences, and often out of body experiences are part of being in a near-death state. When the dying person is unconscious, they feel like they are floating out of their body, then they see their own body and the medical staff trying to save them. Many times, when they regain consciousness, they can clearly describe what happened during their unconscious state. Out of Body refers to the soul and consciousness leaving the body, separating from the body. You don't feel your body, but your consciousness is very clear, you can think, you can sense, and you can even control your soul's actions. Out of body experiences fall within the realm of parapsychology, and the relationship between the soul and the body is a long-standing fundamental issue in theology, philosophy, and psychology. At this moment, I still had the ability to think, and my soul drifted into the ward, seeing Katniss gently breaking free from Nathan's support, slowly walking to the bedside, sitting down, staring blankly at me lying unconscious on the bed, lips trembling, no words, just crying continuously. She reached out her hand towards my face, but only halfway before she dared not go further. She was afraid, hesitant to touch me again, looking at her, she seemed very self-blaming, unsure if she was even qualified to touch her husband.
Nathan stood aside, only able to gaze out the window of the ward, as if he couldn't bear to look at me on the bed, even though I was unconscious at the moment. His face was filled with sorrow, almost to the point of depression, all that was left was sighs, what use was self-blame at this point?
"It's all my fault, why did this happen? Is this God's punishment for me? But why is Kevin the one being punished? What should I do?" Katniss couldn't help but cry with her head down, seeming very helpless. Hearing Katniss's words, Nathan raised his head, eyes tightly closed, as if trying to hold back his tears, he had no words left to say.
"Katniss, you must take care of yourself, you need to recover quickly, take care of Kevin. If both of you fall apart, this family will be over. Think about Kevin, think about Simon, think about this family." Nathan seemed to have thought for a long time before coming up with the only words that could comfort Katniss.
"Is this family still intact? If Kevin dies, then this family is over. Even if Kevin wakes up, will he forgive me? This family, in any case, has already fallen apart." Katniss couldn't restrain her regret any longer, she slapped herself hard, her eyes filled with regret, whether I live or die, this family is doomed to fall apart.
"Katniss, it's not just your fault." Seeing Katniss continuously hitting herself, Nathan quickly reached out to grab Katniss's hands to stop her.
"Don't touch me, let go of me, don't you ever touch me again." At this point, Katniss seemed to be on the verge of collapse, using all her strength to shake off Nathan's hand, moving further away from him. At this point, Katniss had lost her rationality, filled only with self-blame, despair, and deep concern for me. Nathan seemed taken aback by Katniss's sudden attitude, her pushing him away, leaving him standing there dumbfounded, at a loss, and finally closing his eyes in pain. I didn't see if Nathan was crying at that moment, because I saw him turn his body with closed eyes, then walk out of the ward, his figure suddenly looking much older. It seemed like he was going to the corridor to calm down, and to give Katniss and me some time alone.
"Honey, I don't know if you can hear me, I hope you can. I don't know what to say, because all explanations now are just lies. I betrayed you, that's an undeniable fact, no matter how much I explain, what's the use? My body is no longer pure, and I did something unethical with your father, no wonder you couldn't bear this shock." After Nathan left, Katniss tried a few times, trembling, she finally touched my face, then started crying and intermittently speaking.
"When did you find out, I don't know, you must have known a long time ago, right? Otherwise, you wouldn't have suddenly appeared in the room that night. I was so foolish, you knew a long time ago, just enduring it, you were giving me a chance to turn over a new leaf, but I didn't cherish it, sinking once again into the gentle town leading to a dead end. Remembering the vows we once made, remembering our past, remembering your goodness to me, remembering your sacrifices for this family, I feel so despicable, not only betraying you, but also betraying myself, betraying my vows, betraying my love. Honey, I don't ask for your forgiveness, I just beg you to wake up. As long as you wake up, I'm willing to pay any price, really. If you want a divorce, I choose to leave without a word, if you choose to torment me for a lifetime to vent your anger, I will stay by your side without complaint to atone for my sins."
"If you ask me, what would I choose? Honey, I would rather you keep me by your side, torment me for a lifetime, even though it will be painful, but at least I will still be with you. As long as I can stay by your side, I have no other thoughts, but I know, you will definitely choose to divorce, right?"
"I feel so ridiculous, you still haven't woken up, and I'm actually thinking about what you'll face when you do wake up. I actually wish that night when I jumped off the cliff, I never woke up, and you were safe and sound. That way, after I die, you might forgive me, or at least let me leave in the name of your wife. If both of us die, at least we can be together alive, and even buried together in death." I watched Katniss beside my bed, murmuring, crying and laughing alternately, seeming to become increasingly unstable.
"Honey, don't worry, if you really die, you won't be alone, I will definitely go to be with you. After we die, I don't expect to be your wife, I just hope you let me be a maid by your side, taking care of you forever, that would be enough for me." At that moment, I saw Katniss's gaze shift to the cabinet next to my hospital bed, where there was a fruit tray with a fruit knife inside, and Katniss reached out and took the fruit knife in her hand. Is Katniss going to commit suicide? I was anxiously watching from the side, unable to speak, just feeling anxious.
"Katniss, don't do anything foolish." At that moment, Nathan suddenly pushed the door open. It turned out that after Nathan stayed in the corridor for a while, seeming uneasy, he went to observe Katniss through the small window on the door. He couldn't hear what Katniss was saying, but he could clearly see Katniss's crying and laughing, and then saw Katniss reaching for the fruit knife, immediately realizing what was happening, he rushed in, followed by a nurse who should have come to change my medication. After the nurse and Nathan rushed in, they quickly took the fruit knife from Katniss's hand, and the nurse immediately pressed the alarm button.
"What are you doing, let go of me, you bunch of jerks." Many nurses rushed over and took Katniss away. Katniss struggled in the arms of the nurse, and her voice gradually faded away. I wanted to float over and take a look, but as I moved a certain distance away from my body, I found that I couldn't continue floating further, as if there was a certain limit to the distance between my body and soul, as if an invisible rope tied my body and soul together.
After giving a glance at me on the hospital bed, Nathan hurriedly rushed to Katniss's ward, it was clear that Nathan didn't know which side to attend to. Although I had some resentment towards Katniss, seeing her like this still made me worry, her mental state seemed to be on the verge of collapse. The exposure of the affair between myself and Nathan, coupled with Kevin's deep coma, and she being the main culprit, under the impact of these events, Katniss eventually appeared mentally disturbed. God, you really know how to mess with me, I didn't want to jump off the cliff, why did you make me fall?
The whole ward quieted down, at this moment, I was like a ghost, constantly hovering around the body on the hospital bed. At this moment, I couldn't help but have many questions. How did I end up in a coma? What happened after I fell off the cliff? Where did Jennifer go? How many days have I been unconscious? By rights, Nathan and Jennifer's wedding should have taken place by now, with so much happening, can Nathan and Jennifer still get married? I just don't know if the private affairs between Katniss and Nathan have been discovered by others, after all, family matters should not be made public. If this matter is publicized, the situation will become even more complicated in the future, how will Michael, Sophia, and Jennifer get along? At least in this city, I have no face to stay.
Soon, I heard footsteps in the corridor, and then Michael, Sophia, and Jennifer walked in, Jennifer carrying a lot of things, looking like boxed meals, while Michael and Sophia brought Simon. When they entered, they just stared at me blankly. Sophia and Jennifer, the two elderly women, couldn't help but wipe away tears, and although Michael didn't cry, seeing me on the bed pale and lifeless, his eyes couldn't help but fill with tears, Michael and Sophia always treated me like their own son.
"Michael, let me take care of Kevin, you and Michael go see Katniss. Nathan called today and said Katniss is in a bad state after waking up. As parents, you are the most suitable people to comfort her. Also, invite Nathan over for dinner." Jennifer said to Sophia beside her.
After Michael and Sophia nodded, they turned and walked out of the ward. Before long, Nathan walked into the ward looking troubled and exhausted.
"Eat something, Nathan." Jennifer couldn't help but say when she saw Nathan. Seeing Nathan's appearance, she couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Although they had only been together for a short time, Jennifer had deep feelings for Nathan.
"I can't eat." Nathan sat by the hospital bed, looking at me lying unconscious with a complex expression.
"How could this happen so carelessly, and so coincidentally? Kevin and Katniss being young and mischievous is one thing, but you at your age, how could you let them fool around like this?" Jennifer said to Nathan with reproach, but seeing Nathan's face full of sorrow, she couldn't continue, and Nathan, upon hearing Jennifer's words, also looked unnatural.
What's going on? Young and mischievous? Fooling around? Floating around them at that moment, my mind was filled with big question marks.
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