Planning With Rose

Leah

I lay on Rose’s lap, sobbing. Again. I had been emotional for days. Hysterically so. I knew Rose was exhausted from dealing with my emotional state since I got home from Armadillo’s house. I hated that I couldn’t quit crying. Having Brennan walk away from me, and then forcing myself to walk away from Kaden, had turned me into a blubbering wreck. And so here I was, clinging to Rose like she was my only lifeline in the middle of a desert. She ran her hand down my back for the millionth time.

“Shhh, Phoenix. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. I know it hurts, honey. Rejection always does, but you will get through this. You are strong. I know you can do this. Just breathe. Try to calm down, and I can help you figure this out,” she murmured softly.

“Why can’t he love me?” I sobbed.

“Sweetheart, it’s not his love that’s the problem. It’s the way he handles his emotions. If he could just figure out how to handle them, he would be perfect for you. So, go to the bathroom, blow your nose, clean your face, and come to the kitchen. I will make us some tea and we will talk. I will help you get through this, but the pity party needs to stop. I understand that you are hurt. I understand that you want to wallow. I did too after my first breakup. He broke my heart. I grieved for days. Months even. And then I met Taco. He turned my whole world upside down and rightside up in all the best ways possible. He wasn’t always perfect, but he tried. You deserve someone who tries, Phoenix. As much as I love R. H. M. as family, he’s not treating you right. I know he can do better, but he’s not trying hard enough. He thinks he’s doing the best he can, but I know he can do better. And until then, he will never deserve you. You’re a wonderful woman. And I don’t want him to lose you, but I also don’t want to sit around and watch him break you anymore. Love is love. It’s pure. It’s how a person chooses to show their love that makes it impure, and right now, the way he’s showing you is very impure.”

“So, what do you think I should do?” I sniffled.

“As much as I hate to say it, you might have to give him a wake-up call to get him to straighten up,” she told me.

“What do you mean by a wake-up call? Like sleep with someone else?” I asked, startled.

“Umm, no! Not unless you wanted to. I can’t tell you how to give him a wake-up call. That’s on you and how you decide to go about doing that. But I can talk you through some options if you have some ideas,” she answered.

“Okay. Thank you. I would like that,” I whispered.

She helped me sit up before gently pushing me to my feet. “Go clean your face, love. I’ll start the tea.”

While I went to the bathroom, she went out the door, headed for the kitchen. Once inside the bathroom, I retrieved a washcloth from the bathroom cabinet so I could clean my face off after I blew my nose. When I was done, I peered into the mirror, eyeing my bloodshot eyes and raw nose. I looked exactly how I felt. Heartbroken and miserable. Maybe Rose was right. Maybe all Brennan needed was a wake-up call. I just wasn’t sure what the best way to accomplish that was. I wasn’t sure about anything. I thought he was starting to let me in. But I was wrong. He had closed up tighter than he had been before, and I wasn’t entirely sure how to get him to open back up. I wasn’t sure how to make him realize that he was going to lose me for good if he didn’t talk to me.

By the time I finally made my way out to the kitchen, Rose already had two mugs of tea on the bar waiting for me along with a plate of her delicious brownies. I couldn’t help but give a dry laugh when I saw them while she smiled brightly at me.

“Chocolate cures every ailment. Heartbreak included,” she told me.

“Do we have more?” I asked, trying to laugh my pain away, which made her smile get bigger.

“Attagirl. I can make more if we need them. Sit. Let's drink our tea and talk about boys,” she praised.

I took a deep breath as I picked up my mug. “I don’t know what to do,” I said. “I love him so much it hurts. Literally. Do you have any ideas?”

“Well, Armadillo—”

“Any ideas that won’t hurt someone else?” I asked, cutting her off.

“I’m sure if you explained to him what was going on, he would help you,” she argued.

“I know he would. He would help me until it killed him. I don’t want to be the reason that someone hurts the way I hurt over R. H. M.” I took a deep breath before dropping my head. “I can’t do that to him. I won’t. Sometimes I think it would be best if I left.”

“So, why don’t you?”

My head snapped up. “What? You want me to leave?”

“Of course I don’t, Phoenix. But neither does he. Maybe if you threaten to leave, it’ll be the wake-up call that he needs.”

I hesitated. “Isn’t that cruel? Playing with him like that?”

“You mean, do to him what he’s been doing to you this whole time? Running from you? Nope. I think it is very fitting,” she told me.

“But what about all of the people that I care about here?” I asked worriedly.

“We’ll still be here. I doubt that he would let you leave. And if he does, you won’t make it far. He’ll come after you,” she said confidently.

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because I know him. He’s never been this way over a woman. You are the love of his life, and he knows he would be a fool to let you go.”

I hesitated as I weighed the pros and cons of threatening to leave. I turned my head to look at her.

“And if I do have to leave, where would I go?” I inquired softly.

“I’m not exactly sure where you would go, but I can tell you where you can go to find help. There’s a little city called Apple Grove. It’s about 6 hours from here. It’s where he’s from. His family still lives there. They would help you. I know they would,” she informed me.

I tilted my head as I studied her face. “How do you know that?”

She shrugged as a small smile played around her lips. “I can’t tell you, but just trust me.”

“Were you two involved?” I accused as jealousy filled me.

“Oh, good heavens, no! I’ve been in Eden for a long time. If you leave Eden, go to Apple Grove. Everyone knows the Morgans.”

I sighed, still hesitating as I lifted my watch to my mouth. “R. H. M.?” I waited for a response, but after a few moments of none, Rose waved her hand at me, urging me to continue, which I did before I could lose my nerve. “I know you don’t want to see me or even want to talk to me, but I think it’s best if I leave Eden. Can you bring my car around to the front for me? I’m packing up my things now.”

I stared at my watch as I silently begged him to tell me not to go. All my hope died the minute he started to speak.

“I’ll meet you at the gate in 30 minutes.”

I buried my face in my hands as my sobs renewed. “What did I do? I don’t want to leave Eden.”

Rose wrapped her arms around my shoulders. “Shhh, Phoenix. Listen to me. You are going to go to Apple Grove and wait for him to come for you.” She held up her hand to stop me from speaking. “I know he will. Now, dry your face and go pack whatever you need for a few weeks. It won’t take longer than that.”

“Are you sure?” I sobbed.

“Very. Now, go pack what you need.”

“That’ll be easy. All I need is Sugar.”

She groaned as she pushed me gently toward my bedroom. “And some clothes, honey.”

“But—”

“Trust me, Phoenix. I know him very well. He’s going to crack, and when he does, he is going to come groveling at your feet. That I promise.”

“I hope so, Rose. I really do.”