VR Session

_I hummed a little as I walked through the grocery store, putting items into my cart. I purposely avoided things that Will liked to eat in favor of things that I discovered I like to eat in Eden or things that I  wanted to try. When I turned down aisle 3, I saw an elderly woman trying to grab a loaf of wheat bread off the highest shelf. I hurried down to her before easily grabbing the bread for her. I gave her a smile._

_“Here you go, ma’am.”_

_“Thank you, sweetheart!”_

_I continued with my grocery shopping, finishing in no time. As I waited in line, I hummed the lullaby R.H.M. unintentionally taught me. I smiled at the elderly woman, waving to her before returning my attention back to the line I was in. Suddenly, I was grabbed and spun around. My mouth dropped open when I found myself looking into Will’s eyes._

_“W-Will?”_

_“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” He hissed._

_I trembled as I started to open and close my mouth with nothing coming out as my chest tightened with panic. “I-I-Grocery shopping,” I whimpered.”_

_He shook me violently, making my head snap back and forth before he threw me to the floor. He kicked me in the side before stomping over to the cart to go through what I had in it. He began to open cartons, pouring the food inside on me while I curled up in the fetal position._

_“YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!” He yelled. “WHAT GOOD IS ABITCH WHO CAN’T OBEY HER HUSBAND?!” He kicked me again, making me cry out. “YOU ARE WORTHLESS! YOU ARE NOTHING! JUST A HOLE FOR ME TO FUCK!”_

_“I’m sorry,” I sobbed. “I’ll do better. I-I promise.”_

_“I’VE GIVEN YOU CHANCE AFTER CHANCE TO PROVE YOU CAN DO BETTER, BUT JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER TIME, YOU FAILED! THAT’S ALL YOU KNOW HOW TO DO! FAIL! FAIL! AND THEN FAIL SOME MORE!”_

_I covered my ears, sobbing loudly as I squeezed my eyes shut. “I’m sorry.”_

_I started hyperventilating as I kept apologizing. I didn’t stop, not even when Will stopped yelling at me. I just laid there, sobbing hysterically._

_“Phoenix? Sweetheart, take your helmet off,” Brennan’s panicked voice filled my head. “I’ll be right there.”_

I pulled the helmet off my head with shaky, breathing hard as my heart pounded in my chest. I tossed the helmet in my chair before dashing over to the trash to vomit. The door opened behind me and in second, Brennan was crouched down next to me, rubbing my back.

“Leah, are you okay?” He asked worriedly.

“Y-yes,” I muttered before spewing more vomit into the trash.

“I’m sorry. I pushed you too hard. I’m so sorry. Please, forgive me.”

I leaned my forehead against the wall as I cradled the trash can on my lap. I shook my head. “No, it’s fine. I needed that! But if you don’t mind, I-I think I’m gonna go,” I whispered tearfully.

“Phoenix, wait,” Brennan said as I got to my feet.

I ignored him as I rushed out of the room to repeatedly push the elevator button as my panic got worse, making me want to vomit again.

“PHOENIX, STOP!” Brennan yelled as he charged down the hallway.

I ran into the elevator as soon as the doors opened, immediately pressing the close button. When the elevator lurched, my legs buckled and I hit the floor, crying out when pain shot through my knees. I crawled out of the elevator as soon as the doors opened. I was halfway to the door to go outside when I was scooped up. Brennan quickly carried me out of the building before sitting on the ground. I threw myself away from him, crawling a few feet from him to vomit more.

He appeared by my side to rub my back with one hand while the other held my hair back. “It’s okay, Phoenix. Take a few deep breaths. In and out. In and out,” he said soothingly.

I tried to follow his directions, but I couldn’t focus. I was too consumed by panic and the urge to punish myself. I raised my hands to scratch myself when my hand was caught.

“Please, don’t do that, Leah. Please,” he whispered.

“I-I have to. I’m a failure!” I sobbed. I struggled to pull my hand away from him. “Please, I have to.”

He rolled me over before pinning me to the ground with his body, linking our hands together beside my head. He pressed his forehead against mine.

“Talk to me, Phoenix. Tell me your name,” he said.

“L-Leah Adams,” I whispered.

“And where are you?”

“In E-Eden,” I responded.

“What do you like to do?”

“I…” I searched his face. “I like to read.”

“Good, baby. You’re doing good. Tell me about your books,” he requested.

I began to speak, not really listening to my own words as I spoke. Slowly, I began to relax as my panic started to subside. After a while, he shifted off to sit next to me, holding my hand as he listened to me talk. When I sat up to lean my head against his shoulder, he let my hand go so he could put his arm around my shoulders. I closed my eyes to let myself fully enjoy him being close again while I grasped at anything and everything I could to keep his arm around me. After a few minutes of my rambling, he removed his arm from my shoulders, making me instantly feel the loss of histouch, all the way to my bones. I turned my head to look at him, only to find that he was watching me intently. I swallowed nervously.

“Are you okay?” I asked anxiously.

“Yes, I’m fine. Are you okay?” He retorted.

I nodded. “Yes, much better. Thanks to you.”

He smiled at me as he reached over to tuck my hair behind my ear. “You did it, Phoenix. Not me.”

I gave him a hesitant smile. “I did, didn’t I?”

“You did, and I am so damned proud of you,” he said.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, Phoenix. You did it.”

I put my hand on his arm before slowly leaning toward him to press a kiss to his cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

He nodded. “Yeah, but–”

I climbed to my feet, dusting myself off as I walked away from him. I couldn’t afford to stay around him. I wanted to go home, and hold Sugar. I wanted to cry and sleep. I wanted…I wanted Brennan. I sighed as I turned onto my street. Ramira told me to trust him, but now I was even less sure if I could trust him. That session had been programmed from a memory that I had spoken to Ramira about. How would he know if she didn’t tell him? He wouldn’t. Now I had a time thinking that I could trust either of them. Ramira had broken my trust by telling him what–I stopped walking. Unless I had talked about it while I was asleep, which was a very good possibility.

“Phoenix?” A soft voice called.

I turned my head to look at Armadillo. “Uhmmm, hi. How are you?”

“I’m okay. Are you? You look like you’ve been crying,” he murmured as he stepped closer to me.

I nodded. “I just had a VR lesson with Mister. It was rough.”

He nodded sympathetically. “Yeah. I remember those. Do you want to talk about it?”

I shook my head. “Not really. But I do have a question for you.”

“Okay, well I’m here if you decide you want to talk. Also, what’s your question?”

“We’re friends right?”

“Of course. Why?” He answered.

“I was wondering if you would be willing to do something for me?” I inquired.

“Sure, if I can.”

“D-do you think you might want to come over and sleep with me?” I paled as I took a step back. “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant like actually sleep next to me. You sleep on one side of the bed and I’ll sleep on the other.”

His lips lifted in a soft smile. “As friends I’m guessing?”

I nodded while twisting my hands together. “Yeah, as friends.”

He tilted his head as he studied my face before reaching out to take my wrist to turn my watch off. He turned his watch off too before sighing.

“Did something happen with R.H.M., Phoenix?” He asked softly.

I looked away from him as tears burned in my eyes. “Yeah. And I just kinda need someone.”

He cupped my face, using his thumb to wipe away a tear. “Alright, Phoenix. I’ll sleep next to you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. As long as you need me to.”

I stepped closer to him to wrap my arms around his waist. “Thank you, Armadillo. You don’t know how much this means to me.”

He put his cheek on the top of my head. “And you don’t know how much you mean to me, Phoenix. Even if you only see me as a friend…”