Sober Confessions

I woke up when a hand was moved under my shirt to cup my breast, groaning as I immediately reached down to tug on it.

“Armadillo, stop,” I grumbled.

“Leah,” Brennan whispered as he pushed his erection against my ass, sending my heart pitter-pattering in my chest.

“Brennan?”

His lips moved over my neck. “I’m sorry to wake you up, but I just wanted to tell you how much I wanted you. I almost didn’t believe that you were in my arms when I woke up.”

I let his wrist go to reach over my shoulder to grip the back of his neck. “Brennan,” I moaned, moving my ass in little circles against his cock.

His hand dropped away from my breast to trail down my stomach to dip under my waistband, teasingly rubbing my clit. I groaned as I pushed against his hand. I was a little surprised that my desire for the man behind me hadn’t diminished in the slightest in the days following our fight. I thought the hurt from our fight would affect me, but it hadn’t. I was as full of desire for him as I was before the fight. I let him go so I could roll over to wrap my arms around his neck as I melded my lips to his.

He groaned as he rolled over onto his back, bringing me with him so that I was on top of him. He used his grip on my waist to move my hips, making me grind against him, creating a delicious friction between us that drove me crazy. When I put my hand on his chest to balance myself, he flipped me over. He grunted angrily as he pushed against my core before leaning down to kiss me.

“There are too many clothes between us, Leah,” he told me as he started to tug my shirt up.

I lifted my arms up so he could take it off before raising my hips so he could drag my pants down my legs. Before my pajama bottoms could even touch the floor, he was pushing two fingers into me while he wiggled out of his own clothes. When he finally thrust into me, my back arched as we both moaned. The feeling of being complete again with the man I loved was like no other. I instantly wrapped my legs around his waist as I lifted my hips up to meet his thrusts while I clawed down his back, drawing a hiss of pain from him.

“Brennan!”

“Leah, God, I’ve missed you!”

He put his hand under my neck, cupping it as he wiggled an arm under my waist to guide my movements better. I scratched his back again as he thrust into me harder. When my head dropped back as I let out a loud moan, his mouth was lowered to my neck, where he began to suck and kiss along its length.

“Brennan!” I cried again.

He uttered a loud noise against my throat that sounded oddly like a growl as he thrust into me again, his erection stroking along the nerves deep inside of me. My pussy clenched around his shaft, and he cursed above me.

“No, no, no. Please,” he whispered.

I lifted my head to look up at him, confused as to what he meant. He brought his mouth back to mine, molding our lips together, kissing me fervently. He kept pushing inside of me before withdrawing quickly, almost as if he was having troubles, which upon his next thrust, I realized he was getting soft. He yanked his arm from under me to grip my face as he kissed me desperately. On his next withdrawal, his cock completely fell out of me, and he couldn’t put it back in. His head dropped to my shoulder while he breathed hard against my skin.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he kept repeating sadly while I ran my hands soothingly down his back.

I wasn’t sure why he was apologizing, but it frightened me a little. When he put his face in my neck, I felt tears running down my skin, which only added to my worry. I let my legs fall from around his waist to better comfort him.

“Brennan? Are you alright?” I murmured softly.

“No,” he sobbed. “I’m so sorry, Leah.”

“Shhhh, Brennan. It’s okay. Whatever it is, we can handle it. Just talk to me. It’s going to be okay. I’m not upset. This happens. There’s always next time. It’s okay. I promise. It’s okay,” I told him softly.

“No, Leah. You don’t understand. I fucked up,” he whispered as he rolled off me to sit on the edge of the bed with his hands clapsed between his knees.

I sat up, pulling the sheets up to my chest before moving to sit behind him. When I put my hand on his shoulder, he flinched, and I immediately pulled back.

“What did I do?” I asked quietly as I lowered my head to hide the tears that were forming in my eyes.

He reached behind him to pull me around his body to his lap, where he forced my chin up to meet his eyes.

“You didn’t do it, Leah. What happened wasn’t your fault. It was mine. Only mine. You did nothing, and I do mean absolutely nothing, wrong. I shouldn’t have left Eden. I should have stayed and talked things out with you. I should have fought for you. There is nothing more important in this world than you are. I lost sight of that for a little while, and I messed up. And, for that, I am so sorry,” he said with his eyes full of sadness.

I searched his face for a moment, looking for any clue that I might be able to find to understand exactly what he was saying, because right at that moment, I was more confused than ever. As I reached up to touch his face, he grabbed my hand, putting it against his chest over his heart.

“What did you do?” I inquired, my voice quivering with anxiety.

I wanted to know, but I also knew that with how hesitant he was to talk about it, it was probably a very bad thing. His eyes closed as he lifted my hand to his cheek, moving it over his skin before sighing.

“The day before yesterday, I left Eden. I didn’t know where I was going or what I should do. I just needed to get out. It hurt too badly to watch you with Armadillo, knowing that you belonged by my side. Not his. So, I had this brilliant idea that I would leave Eden for a little while. Well, when I finally stopped, I found myself in front of Diadra’s Aunt Misty’s house. I spent several hours talking to her. It was very enlightening.” He paused to rub the back of my hand over his lips. “I told her about you. She thinks that you are good for me. She would like to meet you. That is, if I was able to fix my mistakes.”

I lifted my other hand to his face, tracing his cheekbones before letting my fingers drift over his jaw. “I’m glad you went, Brennan. I hope it helped you come to terms with some things.”

He nodded, still not opening his eyes as he continued to move my hand over his face. “It did. But it also hurt me so much.”

I shifted my hand so that I could pull him down to put his face against mine. “Why did it hurt you?”

His eyes opened to stare into mine as he finally stopped moving my hand. “Because it made me so aware of what everyone else saw in my marriage while I was completely blind to it. Misty told me that Diadra never loved me. Hell, I already knew that, but I just wanted to believe she did. I wanted to pretend like I was not crazy for putting as much into my marriage as I did. But that’s not what I did wrong.”

“I’m sure that you're worried about nothing. It can’t be as bad as you think it is,” I tried to reassure him, not believing my own words.

“No, Leah. I wish it was that simple,” he told me as he put me on the bed next to him before getting up to pace agitatedly in front of me. “You don’t understand, Phoenix! I fucked up. Like really bad.”

My heart sank hearing him call me that. What could be so bad that he would try to distance himself from me so quickly? I swallowed hard.

“Brennan? You’re scaring me. What happened?” I whimpered.

After a minute, he stopped pacing before his head whipped around to pin me with a sad look. “I cheated on you.”