Where's Sugar?

Leah

I woke up, stretching as I sat up. I rolled my shoulders back while I looked around the room. Once again, I was alone in my room. I was really tired of waking up alone. It was the third time that week. It was driving me insane. I knew he said he had a busy day, but I wished he would wake me up before he left.

I threw the blankets back to go to the bathroom, where I quickly relieved myself, did my morning routine, and got dressed before leaving the bathroom to let Sugar out. When she didn’t come up to me, I ran through the house, searching for her. Upon realizing that she was nowhere in the house, I ran outside panicked, still calling for her as I struggled to breathe.

“SUGAR! SUGAR!” I screamed. “COME TO MOMMY, BABY! SUGAR!”

After a quick search of our yard, I raced through the gate, struggling to draw in air as I screamed for her.

“PHOENIX! PHOENIX! WHAT’S WRONG?!” Rosemary called out as I sprinted past her house.

I immediately skidded to a halt so that I could spin around to go over to her. She immediately reached for my shaking hands.

Phoenix, what’s wrong?” She repeated.

“H-have you seen Sugar? I can’t find her,” I whimpered.

“Yes. R. H. M. took her to his office. The–”

I didn’t wait for her to finish as I took off again toward his office as the words that Doc told me at the party echoed in my head. “He doesn’t even like dogs.” I pushed myself as hard as I could to get to his office, immediately stumbling when I bounded around the last corner to see a strange man injecting Sugar with something while Brennan held her still.

“STOP! DON’T HURT HER!” I begged as I ran toward them.

Sugar immediately pulled away from Brennan to rush over to me. I sank to the ground with my arms out for Sugar, who immediately leapt into them. I pulled the needle out of her skin, throwing it away from us as I clung to her, sobbing hysterically as my chest tightened even more.

“Phoenix?” Brennan called softly. “What’s wrong?”

I cut my eyes up at him angrily. “If you’re mad at me, punish me, not her,” I sobbed. “She hasn’t done anything.”

“Leah, sweetheart, I– Fuck!”

When Sugar lunged for Brennan’s outstretched hand to bite him, I was yanked forward. I pulled her back to me as I crawled on top of her to shield her from his anger.

“I’m sorry,” I cried. “Please don’t hurt her anymore. She didn’t mean to bite you. Please, I’m sorry. Don’t hurt her anymore. Punish me instead,” I pleaded.

He knelt in front of me before hesitantly reaching out to touch my face, sighing when my eyes were squeezed close.

“Sweetheart, we weren’t hurting Sugar. Dr. Morales came to check out one of the dogs because he was sick. Lonni has parvo. He may just be at the shelter right now, but parvo is highly contagious. All of the dogs are up to date on vaccines, but Dr. Morales did suggest that all of the dogs get boosters, especially if they were due or close to being due for a vaccine update. I swear to you that we weren’t hurting her. We were only trying to protect her.”

I looked down at Sugar, who was watching me curiously, obviously waiting for cues on how to behave. When I looked back up at him, his hand moved to tuck my hair behind my ear.

“You weren’t hurting her?” I whispered.

“No, sweetheart. I promise you. I would never do anything to hurt you,” he told me.

“It’s just that–”

He rubbed my bottom lip. “Let’s make sure that Sugar is protected and then we’ll talk, okay?”

I gulped anxiously but nodded. I carefully moved off Sugar who immediately sat in front of me, keeping Brennan back. He tilted his head toward the man who had been trying to inject Sugar.

“Come on, princess.”

He got up before holding his hand out to me. When I took it, he gently pulled me to my feet while Sugar sat stiffly, waiting for me to show signs of distress. He smiled down at her before patting her head.

“Come on, Sugar bear.”

He scooped up the needle I had thrown before guiding me toward the table that had been set up. The man there immediately held his hand out for me to shake.

“Hello. I’m Graham Morales, D. V. M.”

I shook his hand. “Hello. I’m Phoenix. I’m sorry for my reaction.”

He smiled at me. “No worries.”

He took the syringe from Brennan before looking down at it to recap it and look at the syringe closely. He put the syringe in a plastic container before picking up a tiny bottle to hand to me. I looked down at the bottle while he got another syringe.

“This is the solution for the vaccine. If it is alright with you, I would like to finish her vaccine, but I will only do so with your permission, Phoenix,” Dr. Morales told me.

I swallowed hard, unsure if the solution was truly what he claimed it to be. I glanced at Brennan who was watching me with a worried look on his face before I nodded, handing the bottle back to the doctor.

“That would be okay,” I murmured as my chest constricted.

He came over to wrap an arm around my waist while I held Sugar so Dr. Morales could inject her before disposing of the needle.

“All done. With any vaccine, she might experience some tenderness at the injection site, as well as some tiredness over the next 24 hours or so. She should be fine after that. Watch for vomiting, diarrhea, redness at the injection site, and any other abnormal behaviors. If you see any, please don’t hesitate to contact me, and I will come back out.” He turned toward Brennan. “Are there any other animals that I need to see?”

“No. Thank you, Dr. Morales. I will walk you out,” Brennan said as he turned toward me to cup my face. “I’ll be right back in a few minutes, sweetheart. You can go upstairs if you want.”

I swallowed hard. “Okay.”

As he helped Dr. Morales gather his things up, I knelt in front of Sugar, who wagged her tail while licking my face, to run my hands over her body. I knew what I was told they were doing to her, but that didn’t curb the anxiety I felt. When she seemed to be okay, I laid down on the ground, positioning her next to me, wrapping an arm around her shoulders when she laid her head on my chest. As I was stroking her head lovingly, she tensed, alerting me to Brennan coming back. He laid down next to me before taking my hand.

“Leah?”

“Yes, Brennan?” I whispered.

“Look at me,” he requested.

“I can’t.”

He gently gripped my chin before turning my face so that I was looking at him. He ran his thumb over my bottom lip.

“We need to talk about what happened,” he told me softly.

“I know. I am sorry.”

“I know you are, Leah. But I would really like to know what you were thinking about. I want to know why you thought we were hurting Sugar.”

“Because I’m an idiot,” I told him sadly.

“You’re not an idiot, sweetheart. Talk to me. I promise that nothing you say is going to upset me. I just want to understand how you’re feeling.”

“I was scared  when I couldn’t find Sugar. I thought something happened to her, and when Rosemary told me that you had taken her, all I could think about was how you didn’t like dogs, and–”

“What? I like dogs,” he said, interrupting me.

“But Doc said that you never interacted with any and–”

He chuckled as he scooted closer to me. “Okay, how about this: don’t get your information from anyone but me. I didn’t interact with any of the other dogs because I, as you’ve seen, have attachment and commitment issues. Before I created Eden, I had a dog. She was with me for 16 years. She was the only one who could get close to me after I lost my family. It’s not that I don’t like dogs. I just didn’t want to get attached to another and then lose them.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Her name was Emmy. My girls named her.”

“I’m sorry, Brennan. I panicked.”

“I know, princess. Tell me why. I never gave you any reason to believe that I would hurt Sugar.”

“It’s just that I’ve never had anyone do stuff for me without wanting something in return and I worry that eventually you will want something from me or take what you gave me back when I upset you.”

“Leah, I do want stuff from you,” he told me, making me stiffen as I tried to pull away from him, but he kept me in place.

“You do?”

“Of course I do. I want you to heal. I want you to be more confident in yourself. I want you to be sure of what you are capable of. And more than anything, I want you to be with me. I want you to trust me, and I want you…” His voice trailed off as he swallowed hard. “I want you to choose to build a life with me,” he finished softly, looking away from me.

I stared at him in shock. “You do?”

He nodded. “Yes, but I want it to be your choice. I do not want you to think that you are being forced. I will never force you to do anything. I will never demand that you be with me. I will never order you to accept my gifts. And more than anything, I will never use violence or any other form of manipulation to force you into anything physical.”

I vaguely heard his words but I was still stuck on him saying he wanted to build a life with me. I smiled at him.

“Do you want to build a life with me?” I asked. He closed his eyes without responding and I tapped on his chest. “Look at me, Brennan.” I waited for him to open his eyes. “Do you?”

He nodded. “Honestly, I’ve thought about other things too. I even mentioned it to my family.”

“What other stuff?” I asked curiously. When he didn’t respond, I sighed as I curled up on his chest before pointing up at the sky. “Look, that one looks like an apple.”

He chuckled as he kissed my forehead. “Maybe it’s a cherry.”

I nuzzled into his neck. “No, it’s a hamster’s face with its cheeks full of food.”

He laughed for a moment before pointing at a thin cloud shaped like a loop. “That one looks like a ring.” He paused for a moment before kissing my forehead again. “Like the one I’m going to get you one day.”

My lips immediately lifted up as I put my arm over his waist. “Funny, it looks like the ring that I’m going to accept when you get it for me.”

He relaxed beside me, kissing my forehead a third time. “I hope so, princess. I really do.”