Atta Girl

As we stood around the cars, discussing what we were going to do for food, my attention was drawn to Nathan’s car when a door softly closing was barely heard. I looked up to see Miriela nervously approaching our small group, and I took a step away from Brennan, moving closer to Nathan while maintaining the conversation. We were bouncing between picking either pizzas or Burger King. Both were takeout places that we could eat back at Joey and Maddie’s house. Miriela took Nathan’s hand, hiding her face in the back of his arm. When he immediately closed his fingers around hers, I smiled.

“So, I think maybe we should just each grab whatever and meet back at Joey’s and Maddie’s house,” Leisha said. “Because I definitely do not want pizza or Burger King. I want lame Chinese food.”

Everyone burst out laughing, nodding in agreement, which turned the conversation to Chinese places with drive-thrus.

“Why don’t we go into a restaurant?”

The conversation immediately came to a halt at her almost silent words. All the men looked at Brennan after seeing how close I was to Miriela. I turned to her, beaming.

“Did you see any places that you might want to eat at on the way here?” I asked.

She hesitated, and I could tell she was anxious about being put on the spot. She moved closer to Nathan, hiding behind him more.

“There was a Chinese Buffet. Lotus Flower,” she whispered.

I looked around at everyone. “Is that okay with you guys?”

Everyone nodded in sync. I clapped my hands together.

“Perfect. Then Lotus it is. We’ll meet there then.”

Before anyone else could move, Nathan led Miriela back to his car, murmuring softly to her. After he got her inside it, he knelt on the ground next to it, took her hand, and continued his soft whispering to her until she relaxed.

“Leah?” Brennan called my name, gently tugging on my hand.

“Huh?”

“Come on. Everyone else is already gone. I know you are worried about her, but come on. They will meet us there.”

I followed him to the car, still keeping an eye on Miriela and Nathan. As Brennan started to drive away, he took my hand before putting our joined hands on the gear shift.

“What’s on your mind, baby?”

“I might actually like Nathan for her. He’s been super good with her. Very patient.”

“Yeah, he has been.” He squeezed my hand before kissing it. “Sometimes love turns you into someone you aren’t. And sometimes love makes you a fool. I’m glad that for her it was the first one. Joey told me how he was with Madison. He was completely different. Possessive with a hardness inside him. I’m not sure, but I think Joey almost killed him half a dozen times.”

“Hardness? I don’t think that boy could be ‘hard’ even if he tried,” I giggled.

“I heard he trapped her in the bathroom once. Madison wasn’t happy. Joey said the only good thing about that day was that Maddie was super clingy after it. He still doesn’t trust him around her.”

“Well, he should. I don’t think Nathan has any romantic feelings left for Maddie,” I told him.

“I would agree. He’s completely in love with Miriela, who, by the way, is completely dependent on him.”

“And you’re worried about that?” I asked curiously.

“Very much so.”

“Why?” I continued to press.

“Because she should eventually get to the point where she’s independent, but with how much she leans on him, I worry that she won’t ever get there,” he answered me.

I sat back in my seat, thinking about what he said. I understood his worry, but I also knew that with how much abuse she suffered at the hands of the cult, she was never going to be the same girl she was back then. She was always going to wonder if ‘today’ was the day they found her. She was always going to wonder if this was the door that would suck her back into another miserable existence. She wasn’t ever going to fully trust people again. But if she could find one person that she could trust, then that in itself was a big win. When we got to the buffet, he walked around the car to help me out. I leaned against him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

“Do you remember when you told me that I wasn’t like how you thought I would be?” I inquired.

“Yes. And I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“It’s okay. I understand. Everything you thought I was, Miriela is. She’s just a shell of who she was. She’s not the vibrant girl that I knew back then. She’s afraid to smile or make a move without seeking permission. She’s afraid of living. While we were in the rage room, I overheard her say, ‘And this is for all the nights I wished to not wake up.’ Do you know how hard it is to live life knowing that you are better off dead? But every single day, you wake up to even more abuse? Do you know how hard it is to hear a voice in another room and know that they are coming for you? Do you know how hard it is to hear a key in a lock and know that your day just got that much harder?” I took a shaky breath. “Do you have any idea how simple tasks, like cooking dinner or even showering, could be the reason for your death? Every single second she spent there, she never knew if she would be taking her next breath. Living like that is a terrible existence. So, if she is a little clingy to him, let her. If she needs him to get her through the day, then so be it. At least she’s trusting someone. No matter how little trust it might be, it’s a step in the right direction. You trusted him enough to put Eden under his control. Then trust him enough to gently guide her back to living a life worth living.”

He sighed as he took me in his arms. “You’re right. I don’t know how it feels, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop worrying. You mean everything to me, and she means a lot to you. Which means she means a lot to me too. I just want her to be okay.”

“She will be but you need to give her a chance. A real chance.”

He sighed again. “No promises, but I will try. Anyway, we should get inside.”

“But Miri and Nathan aren’t here yet.”

He stepped away from me before taking my hand. “You said to trust him. You should too. They’ll get here on their time. We can’t rush them, right?”

I beamed at him as I nodded. “Exactly.”

As we walked in, I was a little surprised to only see a few of the tables taken up. I gestured around the restaurant as we reached the combined tables where the rest of our party sat waiting for us.

“I thought they would have more customers.”

“They did, but Joey and Caleb rented the entire place out for two hours and offered the other guests a meal on them on top of whatever to-go boxes they wanted from here,” Maddie gushed as she leaned against her husband’s side.

“Why would you do that?” I asked curiously.

“We wanted to make sure that Miriela felt comfortable. This is a huge deal and we just thought it would be better if we didn’t push her back into the world too fast,” Caleb told me.

“You guys are so wonderful,” I sniffled, making Brennan groan.

“I swear if you start crying, I’m going to punch my brothers,” he told me.

“Shut up,” I blubbered. “I am just emotional.”

“I know.”

A throat clearing made us all look up to see Miriela and Nathan standing a few feet from our table. She was once again hiding anxiously behind him, but she was there. I smiled widely at her.

“I hope you brought your appetite. There is so much food. Are you ready to eat?”

She nodded, and we all started to head toward the buffet lines. As we all got plates, I noticed that everyone was giving Nathan and Miriela a wide berth and being extra careful to never be behind her. It touched my heart with how much everyone genuinely cared for her. I couldn’t help but be amazed once again that these were my people. When we all made it back to the table, Nathan sat Miriela at the end of the table so no one could approach her from behind while she could see everyone and everything. I hated that she had very little on her plate, but at least she had something on it. That was progress, right? When Madison and Rose started telling stupid little jokes, everyone laughed before adding their own jokes to the mix. I leaned forward, grinning at them.

“I have the best joke of all,” I told them.

“Oh, do you? Well, go on, oh mighty joke teller! Make us laugh,” Maddie teased.

“What happened to the frog that parked illegally?” I asked, secure in my victory already.

Everyone looked around at each other confused before Miriela giggled. Everyone’s heads turned to look at her in shock. She smiled at me as she took Nathan’s hand.

“It got toad.”

Everyone burst out laughing, while I beamed at Miriela. I leaned toward her. “What did the cereal bring to the bank?”

She hesitated for a moment before saying, “Chex.”

I leaned back in my chair, chuckling a little. “Bingo.”

Maddie turned toward Miriela. “Do you have any jokes?”

She lowered her head, obviously not liking the attention. We were silent for a few seconds before letting the conversation pick back up. As the jokes went on, they got stupider and stupider until we were just continuously howling with laughter. As the laughter died down from a particularly funny joke supplied by Madison, Miriela reached across the table to take my hand.

“What is it called when a snowman throws a tantrum?” She asked quietly.

I squeezed her hand while everyone threw out wrong answers. I was pretty sure they were doing it on purpose, but I was glad they were including her. After about a minute of wrong answers, Miriela gave me a small smile.

“A meltdown.”

As everyone laughed hysterically, Miriela went back to eating, while I watched her, proud of how hard she was trying. Nathan leaned in close to her, murmuring in her ear. I grinned at them, thinking yet again, ‘Atta girl, Miri. Atta girl.”