Who is Armadillo?

I turned to look at him in shock. “I’m so sorry, Armadillo. I can’t even imagine bearing all of that pain.”
He smiled sadly. “Being here has helped me a lot, and not just with that part of my marriage. Eden works, if you let it.”
I reached out to touch him before pulling back. “What else happened?” I asked softly. He tensed up, making me immediately regret my question. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. I—”
“It’s okay, Phoenix. I’ll tell you. I met Christina when I was 18. I worked at Denny’s, and one night she came in to eat. I was her waiter. She came in for two weeks straight. At first, serving her was easy, but she progressively became more demanding. I never said anything because she always tipped well, and she was very nice, even though she was exigent, and I liked her. The more challenging she was, the better her tips were. She started off with cash, and then it became watches, silk ties, and other expensive items. One night, she waited for me to get off before inviting me to the club. She bought me a suit and shoes. It was so expensive and nice. I didn’t want to accept it, but she kept pressuring me to take it until I did. That night, I ended up in her bed. It was the worst mistake that I could have ever made.
“She started stalking me at work, school, and at home. No matter how much I tried to avoid her, she always found me. A few weeks after our outing, I asked a schoolmate out. Christina crashed my date, screaming about how she was pregnant and it was my child. I believed her, so the next day I proposed to her. After going with her to a doctor appointment and speaking with the doctor, we got married. Two weeks later, she told me she lost the baby, but she didn’t. Three months later, during a fight, she threw it in my face that she got an abortion. I spiraled into depression because I loved children. I asked her for a divorce, and she told me no. She told me that we could try again, and as much as I wanted to leave, I had been raised not believing in divorce. I felt stuck, and she knew it.
“She started tearing me down until I had given up. I gave up my job. My education. I stopped leaving the house because she didn’t want me to. I ended up staying at home as a house husband. My sole purpose in life became to serve her. I cooked, cleaned, and satisfied her sexually. I had no friends. I stopped talking with my family. I just stopped caring. I let her do what she wanted to me. I never stopped her or fought back. If she had a bad day at the hospital, she would hit me. One night, it was really bad. She lost a patient on the operating table, and she came home and broke my arm.”
“Oh, Armadillo,” I whispered as I put my arms around his neck, hugging him. “That’s terrible. I’m so sorry.”
He patted my arm. “It’s okay, Phoenix. I’ve come a long way in my healing journey. I’m stronger than the boy that married her. I know who I am and what I want. I know what I deserve and what I have to offer someone. One day,” he said, his hand running along my arm again, “I’ll give all my love to the right woman.”
I pulled back at his words, feeling like he wasn’t just talking generically anymore. I cleared my throat anxiously, averting my eyes from him.
“Are you divorced now?”
“Yes. I got wasted in a bar one night and ended up telling my story to a biker. When I woke up, I was here. R.H.M. helped me a lot. Him and Dr. Onion.”
“Dr. Onion?” I asked curiously.
“Yes. The psychiatrist that comes here to help us,” he answered.
“Why onion?”
“Because she helps us peel the layers back.”
“That’s interesting. Do you still want kids, Armadillo?”
“Yes, I do. I want to be with a woman who loves me. I want to try again. I want to find a woman who understands how and why I feel the way I do.”
“My family was part of a cult. My mother was subservient to my father. He used to abuse both of us. When I got married, I thought he was going to be like my father because he was part of the cult, but he wasn’t entirely like him. He didn’t start off like an ass. The last few years were really bad, though. He turned into my father. Well, maybe even worse. He forced me to have sex. Which I’m sure my father did to my mother, but I never saw it. When I got pregnant, he was happy. He started preparing for a son, but when he found out we were having a girl, he threw me down the stairs. One set of stairs after the other. Dragging me along the landing before kicking me down the next set. I lost my daughter, and that broke me. For a long time, there was nothing that could console me. My best friend, Miriela, would sneak me romance books to escape the nightmare that I called my life. My favorites were the ones where there were little girls who were attached to their mother. I don’t think I would have survived if it wasn’t for Miriela. When she stopped coming to see me, I was devastated, but I understood. I wouldn’t want to see my best friend in that situation either.”
He turned to me with his eyes soft. “Are you divorced?”
“No. I ran from him less than a week ago and have been here since,” I told him.
“Do you want to get a divorce?”
“I don’t know. Sometimes I think so. Other times, I get in my head and wonder if I am the reason my husband is the way he is.” I lowered my head in shame. “I wonder if I did something to deserve what happened when I was pregnant.”
“Phoenix?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I hold your hand?” He asked softly.
I hesitated before holding my hand out to him. He immediately took it, closing his fingers around mine.
“You did nothing wrong. There is nothing in this world that you could have done to deserve that. He is not a good soul, and he definitely didn’t deserve you. Please, let Eden help you. You can talk to any of us. Even if we can’t relate, we will listen. None of our stories are the same, but there are more people who can understand how you feel. I know I do. For the longest time, I blamed myself for my wife’s choices. I thought all my issues and flaws made me responsible for them. It was the hardest idea I had to let go of. When I finally did, the peace I felt was the most glorious thing I had ever experienced. One of these days, I know that you will have the same feeling.”
I sighed as I leaned my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes. “Since I’ve been here, I’ve already started changing. When I got here, I didn’t believe that good people existed. I thought that I would be trained on how to satisfy a man, but this”—I whispered, waving my hand at the community—“is more than I thought it would be. I have already stepped outside of my comfort zone by choosing to trust people. I think this was one of the best decisions that I could have ever made. I’m hoping that I can grow here and heal. I really want to heal.”
“You will. Just trust R.H.M. and everyone else in Eden, and we will guide you. Trust me when I say that we won’t hurt you. We only want to help.”
I sighed as I wiped at the tear that escaped from my closed eyes. “I am so sorry that you went through that, Armadillo. I can’t imagine anyone treating such a sweet person like that. I’m glad that you escaped.”
“Me too. I just hope that eventually you can as well.”
I opened my eyes as a soft smile graced my lips. “How long have you been here?”
“For a while. I’m not entirely sure how long. I’ve lost track of the length of time. I just know my progress,” he chuckled.
“Do you like being here?”
“Yes. It’s safe here. I have never felt out of place or looked down on. Eden is a very special place,” he answered. “How are you liking it here?”
“It’s been a little difficult,” I admitted.
“Why?”
“Well, ummm…”
He glanced down at me. “Is someone bothering you?”
“No, it’s just that there’s this guy—”
“PHOENIX! COME HERE! I WOULD LIKE A WORD WITH YOU!”