Hunting R.H.M. Down

Armadillo

I watched as Phoenix smiled up at Doc, biting back a sigh when it didn’t quite reach her eyes. The last 48 hours had been hard with her. All she did was cry, lie in bed, and refuse to eat. Her fight with R. H.M. had really crushed her spirit. It was worse than any of their other fights. He had broken her in a way that I had only seen when new people came to Eden. I knew she was lost without him, and I didn’t know how to help her. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. While she was at work the day before, I had gone to R. H. M.’s office, only to be ignored. Well, maybe not ignored. He might not have been there. I knew he loved her. I also knew that every time they got into a fight, he ran. My bet was that he wasn’t even in the office. No, not his office. Eden. I didn’t think that he was even in Eden. And I needed to talk to him. I pinned Doc with a narrowed look, and she immediately dropped her eyes away from mine. I knew that she knew where he was. She always did. And very soon, I was going to know too.

I waited patiently for them to finish reviewing the shelter order sheet. It was the last thing they had to do. I knew it was because I used to work in the shelter when I first came to Eden. After they hugged goodbye, Phoenix came over to me, giving me a watery smile. She never hid her emotions from me. Even if she tried to hide them from everyone else. I immediately draped my arm over her shoulders, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“Are you ready to go home?” I asked her softly.

She didn’t bother to respond vocally, choosing to only nod. I glanced over my shoulder at Doc, mouthing, ‘Thank you.’ She nodded her head before mouthing back to me. ‘Am I seeing you later?’ I gave her a short nod before leading Phoenix out of the shelter and back to her house, where she went straight into the bathroom to cry like she did when they fought. I understood her reasoning. It was the only place that wasn’t constantly watched. The camera in that room had to be voice activated, and if someone was watching without being asked to, there would be a little red light that lit up. I sighed as I wandered into the kitchen to make her nighttime tea, keeping an eye on the door as I crushed a Tylenol PM up to add to it.

I hated having to slip her a little something so she could sleep, but I learned during their last fight it was the only way to help her actually sleep through the night. I was walking back into the bedroom with the steaming mug when she came out of the bathroom, dressed in her pajamas. Her eyes went to the cup in my hand before she sighed and walked up to take it from me.

“Thank you, Armadillo.” She took a sip of it before lowering her head. “Thank you for everything. I don’t know what I would do without you right now. You’re the only reason that I’m even functioning right now.”

I raised my hand to her face to cup her cheek, letting my thumb wipe away a tear. “It’s not a problem, Phoenix. I care about you. I will do anything I can do to help you through tough times.”

Even more sadness filled her eyes as she looked into mine. I held my breath as she slowly leaned toward me to press her lips against mine. I froze for a second as our timid kiss continued before pulling away from her.

“Phoenix,” I murmured. “You don’t really want me. You are reacting from your emotions caused by the fight with R. H. M. I can’t allow you to do that. If you still want to start a relationship with me in a few days when your emotions are a little more under control, then we can. But I can’t let you make a decision like that while you are hurting like this.”

“I— Don’t you want me?” She asked, her eyes filling with tears that fell without hesitation.

“Wanting you is not the problem, Phoenix. You wanting me is. I know that you want R. H. M. You don’t go from loving him to wanting me that fast. The fact that you think you can just lets me know how truly hurt you are. It’s not your fault you feel this way. It’s a way to protect yourself, but please don’t think that you have to do this to make yourself feel better.” I cupped her face again. “I’m not leaving you, Phoenix. I’ll be here for you. Whatever you need, I’ll do my best to get it for you or help you get it. I just want you to be okay. But this isn’t the way.”

“I just want to be wanted,” she whispered.

“You are. Very wanted. By him and me. He just doesn’t know how to cope with his feelings. When he gets it together, if you are open to talking with him, I will help you. I will guide you through telling him how you feel. Hell, to make you happy, I will even help him express his feelings to you. But please, don’t feel like you have to initiate a physical relationship with me to feel wanted.”

She closed her eyes as more tears cascaded down her face. “I’m sorry, Kaden.”

“It’s okay, Phoenix. Come on. Let’s get you into bed so you can finish your tea, and I’ll hold you for a little bit before I have to leave.”

“You’re leaving me too?” She inquired sadly.

“Only for a day, honey. My sister’s birthday is tomorrow. I had previously arranged to attend her birthday party. I promise that I will be back before you go to bed tomorrow,” I told her.

“Do you promise?” She sniffled.

“Yes.”

“Will you hold me until I fall asleep?” She requested softly, making my chest constrict almost painfully.

“Always, Phoenix.”

She searched my face for a moment before nodding. She lifted the mug to her mouth, downing the tea quickly before getting into the bed. I climbed into bed next to her, opening my arms for her to lay on my chest like she liked to when she cried. It helped her to feel my heartbeat, and if that was the only thing I could do to help her, then I would gladly continue to do so. When she was sound asleep, I carefully repositioned her so that she was on her side with her hand under the pillow before getting up. After I tucked her in, I kissed her forehead and left the house, locking the door behind me before heading toward Doc’s house, where she was waiting for me on the porch.

“You want to know where R. H. M. is, don’t you?” She asked, surprising me.

“Yes. I want to talk to him about what he’s doing to Phoenix. It’s wrong. Someone needs to talk some sense into him,” I answered her.

“Yes, someone does. And I think that you might be the perfect one to do so. I am not sure of exactly where he is, but I know he went home to his family. I can give you his sister’s address. She will know exactly where he is. It’s 411 Pecan Drive. Promise me that when you do find him, you bring him home. It’s killing me that she’s so sad. He’s not answering my calls, and that’s not good. I am worried about him. This fight isn’t just affecting her. It’s hurting him too. If siccing you on him is the only way we can fix this between the two of them, then so be it. I love them both. They both deserve to be happy. And they both want to be happy in the same way. With each other. R. H. M. just doesn’t know how to get out of his own way. I’m hoping that you can show him how. Even though I know it hurts you to see him with the woman you love.” She stopped talking to hug me tightly. “You’re a great man, Armadillo. One of these days, you are going to find the woman that you were meant to love. You’re going to be happy with her. And your love for Phoenix will fade. I hope you find her soon because you deserve her. Now, I already have your car waiting for you at the gate. Go on. Be safe.”

I squeezed her before taking the keys she fished out of her pockets. Once I got to my car, I typed the address she gave me into the navigation system before starting the long drive ahead of me. I glanced in the rearview mirror when I heard the gate shutting behind me. I stopped about 30 minutes from my destination to get gas. As I neared his sister’s house, I started to grow anxious. I wasn’t sure how she would respond. I just hoped that she wouldn’t be angry. No sooner had I parked than a man came out onto the porch with a gun visibly in his waistband.

“Who are you and what do you wan—”

“Armadillo?” A familiar voice called out. “What are you doing here? Is Phoenix okay?”