Ghost From The Past

“I had a boyfriend once,” Leisha volunteered. “It wasn’t serious. Well, not for him. I should have known better. We were only talking online. I was too scared to meet him. One day, I messaged him, ‘Good morning,’ only to find myself blocked. No warning. Not even so much as a ‘I don’t want to talk anymore.’ For a long time I thought I was the problem. I had lost the man that I spoke to every day, all day. I was absolutely crushed. I ended up going out and getting drunk. I went home with a guy, and now I have a son.” She paused as a soft smile graced her face. “I will say that I wish I wasn’t a single mother, because there are days that are hard, but I wouldn’t ever change him for anything.” She leaned across the table toward me, staring into my eyes. “Please don’t make the same mistake I did. I wasn’t ready to be with someone in any way. It’s okay to take your time and heal for a little bit before jumping into another relationship. Whether or not it’s just physical.”

I flushed as I lowered my eyes from hers. “R. H. M. was the only man that I was ever willingly intimate with. He’s the only one I trusted with that part of me. He only ever frightened me once during those moments,” I said, blushing furiously.

“What happened?” Leisha asked curiously.

I glanced at Caleb before turning to look at Maddie, who was absolutely furious. I swallowed hard as I shook my head. “I’d really rather not say.”

“You can speak freely, Phoenix,” Caleb told me. “Madison understands that she cannot act on anything she hears here.”

I let my eyes run over Madison’s face before shaking my head. “I think I’m done for today. I am tired…”

Caleb nodded. “That’s alright, Phoenix. Who else would like to share?”

Madison squeezed my hand as I settled back into my chair, accepting her support without hesitation. I laid my head on her shoulder while I listened to Leisha speak. She was so eloquent, and I could tell that she had been working on her healing for a long time. After about another hour of listening to the other women speak, Caleb clapped his hands together, beaming around at all of us.

“Well done, ladies. I’m very proud of all of you sharing today. The next group is Thursday. I hope to see you all here.”

Everyone stood up, rolling their shoulders back, while I remained in my seat, watching the way everyone grouped up to continue to talk a little before walking out of the basement. And still I remained in my seat, watching Madison and Caleb pack up the uneaten food. When they were done, Madison came up to me, smiling.

“Are you ready to go?” She asked.

“Ummm, not quite. I was wondering if I could have a word with Caleb privately.”

Caleb immediately nodded. “Yes, of course. Would you like to go to my office, or is down here okay?”

I glanced around, anxiously looking for any spot someone could hide. When I was satisfied that no one was hiding, I nodded. “Here is fine.”

Madison gave him a warning look as she took my hands. “I’ll be waiting for you at the top of the stairs.”

I nodded. “I promise this won’t take long.” She shot Caleb one last angry look before jogging out of the basement.

Caleb leaned against the wall, his body fully relaxed. Not that it made me any less afraid of being alone with him. I cleared my throat as I twisted my hands together.

“I wanted to thank you for allowing me to attend your meeting,” I started off.

“I run this group to help people, Leah. I am not going to turn anyone  that needs it.”

I smiled sadly. “Just like Brennan.” I wiped a tear off my face. “Speaking of Brennan. Could you do me a favor?”

“If I can.”

“The next time you talk to him, ask him how he’s doing. Like really doing. I don’t want to hear that he’s okay. He always says that, and he never is,” I requested.

His eyes softened as he studied me. “He didn’t tell me that when I spoke to him this morning.”

I blinked in surprise. “What did he say?”

“He said that he was missing you and that he would do anything to be the man that deserved to be with you. He told me that he was trying to change. That you were worth fighting for. He just doesn’t know how to do it.”

My bottom lip trembled as I took in what he said. I was struggling to keep my hope from overriding my common sense. Hearing Caleb say that made me want to run back to Eden and tell Brennan that I forgave him just so that I could be in his arms again, but I knew that if I did, we would be back in the same position again. Bound to live out the same pattern over and over again. And I couldn’t do that. Not to either of us.

“Phoenix?” Caleb called softly, making me jump when his voice was so close to me. “What are you thinking about?”

“I want to go back to Eden. I want to be with him. But if I do…”

He nodded. “I know. Look, I’ll tell you what I’ll do: I’ll try to help him make the changes that he needs to so you two can try to have a relationship. And I’ll keep trying to encourage him to keep on top of his healing.”

I wiped another tear off my cheek as I nodded. “Thank you, Caleb.”

He patted my shoulder. “You’re family now, Leah. And unlike your biological one, the Morgans aren’t going to hurt you. Just ask Madison. We all had doubts that she was Joey’s daughter, but we never loved her any less.” He grinned at me. “Welcome to the family, Phoenix. Spread your wings, and we’ll be the wind that carries you into the sky.”

I giggled a little. “Thank you.”

He tilted his head to the door. “Go on now before she comes back down here. I don’t know if you have noticed, but she’s a little punchy.”

I burst out laughing, knowing full well what he meant. In the few days that I had been at the house, I had lost count of how many times she threatened to punch Brennan in the throat. Ramira also told me when she punched Caleb in the throat. I smiled to myself as I jogged up the stairs, feeling lighter than I had in weeks. As soon as Madison saw me on the stairs, she narrowed her eyes on me.

“Was he respectful?” She asked.

“Yes, Maddie, he was. Why wouldn’t he be respectful?”

“He just has his moments. I don’t know if you’ve been listening, but Caleb’s a manwhore.”

I shook my head, still grinning. “He was respectful. So no need to punch him in the throat.”

“Alright. I’ll let him make it today,” she said as she hooked our arms together. “Now, since Joey is watching the kids, do you want to go somewhere with me?”

“Where are we going?” I inquired.

“I thought maybe we could go with Leisha and Kendra to get the biggest and best banana splits that you could ever have.”

“Banana splits? That’s all?”

“Yep. And then we’ll go back to the house, and you can crawl back into bed or watch movies with us,” she told me.

“Can we start with banana splits and see where it goes?”

“Of course. I’m not going to pressure you.”

Once we were outside on the patio, I turned toward her. “Thank you, Maddie, for bringing me here. It felt really good to talk about what happened and know that I wasn’t alone.”

She smiled at me. “Yes, it is. I’m glad you came.”

Her eyes moved to look over my shoulder, and before I could react, a soft voice said, “Hey, Phoenix.”

My heart sped up as I spun around, happily smiling at him. “Kaden?” When he opened his arms, I immediately moved into them, hugging him tightly before leaning back to look up at him. “You’re here! Why are you here?” My face fell as I realized what happened. “You left Eden for me.”

He nodded as he looked into my eyes. “You didn’t say goodbye.”

I sighed as I let my arms drop from around his waist. “I couldn’t. How could I? I was being selfish. Again. I’m always selfish when it comes to you. Holding onto you because you’re safe. It wasn’t fair to you. It never was. I didn’t want you to leave Eden because of me. And that’s exactly what happened.”

He sighed as he let me go. “Listen to me, Phoenix. I understand why you left. Rose explained it to me.” He hesitated for a moment before groaning. “R. H. M. asked me to tell you something. I wasn’t going to tell you, because I don’t think he deserves you, but I know you would want to know. He wanted you to know that he was sorry and was trying.”

Even more hope filled me again. What Caleb said could very easily be chalked up to brotherly love, but not Kaden. He loathed Brennan.

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked.

He sighed as he stuck his hands in his pockets. “Because I know you’re hurting, and if there is something I can do to lessen that pain, I will.”

I ran my fingers through his hair affectionately. “You’re always so selfless,” I murmured. “Thank you.”

“Is this Armadillo?” Leisha asked as she walked up to us with Kendra by her side.

I beamed at her as I took his hand. “It is, yes. He is the best!”

He turned to look at them, and I saw a flash of something unreadable cross his face. Leisha stopped in front of him with her eyes wide.

“Kaden?”

He took a step back away from me with his eyes ping-ponging between me and her. I put my hand on his arm.

“Do you know her?” I asked.

“Yes, I do. She went to my high school…”