Reconnecting With Miriela

The defeated look on her face crushed my soul. I sighed as I nodded.

“I understand that feeling. I felt that way too. Do you remember when we met? I wouldn’t even speak or look you in the eye. That was because I felt like they owned me. I was afraid I would be punished for having a friend, but you kept seeking me out until, one day, you came up to me. Do you remember what you said?” I asked.

She smiled a little, and I barely caught myself from fist-pumping the air. “I said, ‘Do you want to watch the clouds with me? They can be anything you want them to be.’”

I nodded. “And two days later, during lunch break, I came out to the practice fields and lay next to you. We didn’t speak. We didn’t have to. It was just nice to have a friend.”

“I remember the first words you said to me. ‘That one there looks like the cell doors of the jail my life is.’” She lifted her head to meet my eyes, her gaze heartbroken. “And then you didn’t stay. You ran away, like you were afraid of something. Now, I know what you were afraid of.”

I leaned over the counter to take her hand in mine. “It’s scary, Miri. I understand it. When I first came here, I would sometimes dream that Will would come for me. I would wake up afraid that this place would turn out to be just a dream, but it’s not. You don’t have to look over your shoulder here. You don’t have to worry about being hurt. R. H. M. and Nathan will protect you. Everyone else will too. I know Rose would definitely do whatever she could to protect you.” I tilted my head as I eyed her. “Have you met her?”

She nodded. “She comes to clean my wounds and tries to feed me. She’s… nice.”

I smiled at her. “What do you know about her?”

“Nothing. I don’t talk to her. I don’t have permission to talk to her and—”

“You don’t need permission to talk to her,” I told her gently.

“But—”

“No, Miri. No buts. Come on.”

I let her hands go to pick up her mug and paper towel to put them where they belonged before heading toward the door.

“Where are we going?” She asked quietly, making me stop.

“We’re going to talk to Rose.”

She immediately shook her head. “I don’t have—”

“Yes, you do. He said you could do and say anything you wanted to. If you want to go with me, go with me. Don’t worry about asking for permission. Nobody is going to punish you here.”

“I’m scared,” she whispered as she lowered her head again.

I hurried over to her side to wrap my arms around her shoulders. “Listen to me, Miri, I promise you that you are safe. I will be by your side the entire time, and if you get nervous, all you have to do is tell me, and I will bring you home.” When she still looked unsure, I pulled back to grasp her face in both of my hands. “Do you want to know why I came to watch the clouds with you?”

She hesitated before nodding.

“I watched you for days. You were so funny, energetic, and happy. I was very jealous of you. I wanted to be free to smile and laugh. I wanted to be free to talk and have friends. You were who I wanted to be like. When I left school, I was forced to get married. It was horrible. All I had were the little things you taught me. I would read and look up at the sky. I would daydream about a life with a man who loved me like all the smut books you had me read. You got me through the worst time in my life, and you weren’t even there. I wasn’t there to save you from being kidnapped by the cult, but I can help you during your healing process. If you’ll let me.”

She looked away from me as her eyes filled with tears. “I’m not that girl anymore, Leah. It wasn’t just my freedom they took from me. They took my very essence.”

I cupped her cheeks, tilting her face up so she was forced to meet my eyes. “Let Eden help you get it back.”

A tear rolled down her cheek when she blinked. “Did you get your essence back?”

My smile widened as I eagerly nodded. “And then some. Have you met R. H. M.?”

“Yes.”

“He helped me a lot. He was exactly what I needed to overcome my fear of men. We’re going to get married, and we’re going to have a baby. I have come so far since I left Will. I’m more than I ever was. I have hope. I have everything that a normal person has. I make my own decisions without fear of being punished. I speak up for myself. I’m finally the woman that I always wanted to be. Eden did that for me. It can help you too if you let it.”

“What if I fail?” She whimpered.

“You won’t. Nathan won’t let you. I won’t let you. No one here will let you. No matter how long it takes or how many setbacks you have, we will be in your corner. All we need from you is to take the first step. It doesn’t have to be a big step. It can be tiny.” I tucked her hair behind her ear. “I know how hard the first step is. Let me help you take it, Miri.”

She hesitated for a long moment before nodding. “Alright.”

I stepped back, holding my hand out to her, praying that she would take it. When she finally did, I beamed at her.

“Let’s go find your essence.”

I led her to the front door, a little surprised that Nathan was not standing outside the kitchen door, before she stopped, trembling violently.

“I can’t do this.”

“Yes, you can. Even if we don’t go to Rose's house today, we can go on the porch.” I squeezed her hand. “Just a tiny step, Miri. That’s all I’m asking you for.”

She took a deep breath before nodding. “Okay.”

I let her take a few more deep breaths before opening the door. Her hand immediately tightened around mine, and I stood there until her hand loosened back up. We took a couple of steps outside before she paused again. I stopped beside her, letting her set the pace of how fast we moved. When we finally made it out to the table on the front porch, I had her sit down. I glanced around, looking for Brennan, and was happy to see that he was sitting on the porch across the street next to Nathan. I turned my attention back to Miriela.

“How are you feeling?” I asked.

She looked around, her eyes slowly scanning the area before coming to rest on Nathan, who instantly sat up straighter, eyeing her.

“It’s quiet here,” she said. “Simple.”

I leaned back in my chair, nodding. “Yes. It helps to heal when you can focus on yourself, your future, and your healing. Eventually, you will be asked to pick a job to give back to the community.”

“Did you have a job?”

“Yes. I worked with Doc in the animal shelter. She’s very nice too.”

“Why did you pick the animal shelter?”

“Because when I went there to pick out a companion, I fell in love with the animals. They are so sweet and loving. It was hard to just choose one, but Sugar and I had an instant bond. I know you loved animals back then. When you’re ready to pick one, I will be more than happy to go with you.”

She turned to look at me. “How much do they cost?”

“To adopt? Nothing. They’re free. Everything here is free. That’s why we get jobs. There’s a ledger, but if you don’t have a job, it doesn’t mean that you won’t be taken care of. It just means that you’re not ready.”

She glanced at Nathan before turning in her seat to face me. “Would it be okay if we went to the shelter?”

“Of course.” I stood up, offering her my hand again. “I can take you.”

She stood up, taking my hand. As we made our way down the street, she moved closer to my side, grasping my arm with her other hand. Every time she stopped, so did I. I was not going to rush her. This was her journey. I was just a part of it. When we finally made it to the shelter, she lingered outside the door for a long time.

“Are there men in there?” She asked, her voice trembling with fear.

“I don’t think so. It’s usually just Doc.”

Her hands gripped my arm and fingers harder, almost cutting off my circulation, but yet I stayed still, letting her decide what we were going to do. She nodded as she reached for the doorknob.

“Okay.”

I guided her inside, smiling widely at Doc and Rose, who were both inside at the welcome desk, talking quietly. Both of their faces lit up when they saw me.

“Phoenix, you’re back! Does that mean you and R. H. M. worked out your issues?” Rose inquired excitedly.

“Yes, we did. This is…” My words trailed off as I turned toward Miriela. “Have you picked a name yet?”

“Picked a name?”

“Yes. When you come to Eden, you get to pick a name for yourself. I picked Phoenix because this was my chance at being reborn. The old me died. Now, I just get to be Phoenix.”

“It can be anything?”

I nodded. “Yes. Anything you want it to be.”

She remained quiet for a moment before saying, “Dream. My name is Dream.”

Rose and Doc both smiled at her. “Beautiful name.”

Miriela looked away from them, and I squeezed her hand. “Do you want to go back?”

“No. I want to look at the cats.”

“We have kittens and older cats. I can show you if you’d like,” Rose told her softly.

Miriela hesitated, glancing at me. I nodded at her encouragingly. “I’d like that.”

Rose’s eyes widened before she tilted her head to the door behind her. “Through here.”

“Will you stay with me, Phoenix?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

We led her into the back past all the dogs to reach the cat room. Once inside, Miriela finally let my hand go as she rushed up to the cats to introduce herself. While Miriela played with the cats, Rose came over to me.

“Did you really make up with R. H. M.?”

I nodded. “Yes. We’re getting married.” I laid my head on her shoulder. “I’m pregnant,” I told her softly. “We’re going to really give our relationship a fighting chance.”

“Good, I’m glad.”

“Hey, Rose?” Taco called softly behind us. “Can I talk to you for a moment?”

I smiled at him over my shoulder. “Hey, Taco.”

“Hey, Phoenix. I am glad you’re back. Rose?”

She excused herself, and they both disappeared out of the room. When I turned my attention back to Miriela, she was frozen in place with her eyes wide and full of fear. I immediately hurried up to her.

“Are you okay?”

“I- I want to go home,” she sobbed.

I took her hand, ushering her out of the shelter. By the time we made it back to her house, she was trembling violently, which made Nathan run off the porch to take her in his arms. He tucked her face into his chest as he glared at me.

“What did you do?” He hissed.

I held up my hands. “We were looking at the cats, and Taco popped in to pull Rose out. It scared her. I brought her back home immediately.”

He gave me one last glare before leading Miriela away from me. I bit back an angry response, not wanting to frighten her anymore. When arms wrapped around my waist, I leaned back against Brennan.

“I’m sorry.”

“Do not apologize, baby. You got her to do more in an hour than he got her to do in the nearly two weeks that she has been here,” he told me. “He will get over it and so will she. Come on. I will bring you back to check on her later.”

“What do you want to do today?” I asked him as we walked back to the office hand in hand.

“I want to talk. I want to tell you about my girls. I want to tell you about everything. And I want you to tell me about everything.”

I smiled as I pressed against his side. “Joey filed my divorce papers…”