Hate Me Tomorrow

R.H.M.
I slammed my hand against my desk as I watched Leah and Armadillo walking together. I knew I was jealous but it didn’t stop the feeling from trying to take me over completely. When he turned their watches off, I almost completely lost it. I wanted to know who she was so interested in that she was telling Armadillo she wasn’t interested in him. When I finally gave up on trying to read their lips, I leaned back in my chair, tapping my fingers on the desk. I needed to do something to keep myself from storming over to her house and snatching her away from him. I grabbed my phone out of the drawer, resisting the urge to throw it across the room.
*‘Joey, can you come to Eden?’*
*‘Eden? Why? If I do, I will be bringing Maddie.’*
I rolled my eyes. What is with him and her? I understood that he was in love with her but–I turned to look at the computer screen, letting my eyes move over Leah.
*‘Fine, but people walk around naked.’*
*‘Who needs a divorce?’* He asked.
*‘Leah.’*
*‘Does she want a divorce or do you want her to get a divorce?’* He texted back, making me roll my eyes again.
I may not have been home in years but our sibling bond would never fail to allow us to see deeper into each other than we may or may not want them to.
*‘I want her to get a divorce. She’ll never be able to move on if he is hanging over her head,’* I replied.
*‘You need to tell her how you feel,’* Joey told me.
I didn’t respond for a moment while I thought about all the nasty retorts I wanted to say. Neither of my brothers had any room to talk. We were all terrible with emotions. Caleb was stuck on some girl whose name he didn’t know, not that he would ever admit it, but we all knew. He changed that day. And Joey, well, he had gone psychotic two years ago, and everything that Amber made him, had eventually taken over like a shield. None of us should be offering advice on romance. We all sucked at it, even though Joey seemed to have gotten a little better in the romance department. I sighed as our conversation continued, not wanting to continue to read him telling me how I needed to be honest with her. At the conclusion of our texting, he left me with: *‘If I can see it, so can she. Tell her, brother. It can only help.’*
I rolled my eyes as I stood up to roll my shoulders back before checking the cameras again, irritated that Leah’s watch was still off. I had been checking the entire time I was talking with Joey. I hurried out of my office, only slowing when I saw Armadillo walking toward me. As I went to pass him, he stepped in my path, keeping me from moving forward. He narrowed his eyes on me while I held his gaze.
“Yes?” I asked, desperately needing to get whatever he wanted to talk about over with.
“You are hurting her,” he hissed.
“Who?” I asked, feigning ignorance while my chest tightened, hating the fact that Leah was hurting because of me.
“Phoenix, dammit! You know exactly who I’m talking about. You can play games with whoever you want to play with about how you feel about her, but don’t do it with her. She deserves better than that. And another thing, if you don’t want to initiate a relationship with her, don’t keep leading her on. I’ve never seen you act this way about a woman.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about…”
“Mhmmm. You took her home from the party. Whenever a female got wasted at the party, you always had Rosemary or Daffodil escort them home and make sure they were settled in. But not Phoenix. You took her home. Whenever I see you now, you are either not far from her or are heading to her. Get it together, R.H.M. I don’t know what made you come here, but I know what made her come here. If you can’t be what she needs, then back away. Give someone else the chance to be what she needs!” He snapped.
I took a step closer to him, trying to intimidate him. “Like who, Armadillo? You? Do you really think you could be what she needs?”
“I know I can, but she’s too stuck on you to even see me!”
He held my gaze for a moment longer before stepping around me to continue on his way, leaving me glaring after him. After a moment, I shook my head, grumbling to myself about how much he seemed to care about her as I rushed the rest of the way to her house. I knocked and tapped my foot as I waited impatiently for her to answer. When she did, my heart started to pound wildly as my eyes were dragged down her body, eagerly enjoying every inch of her exposed skin. She took a step back and the action made my gaze snapped back up to her narrowed ones.
“Yes?” She asked.
“Turn your watch on, Princess,” I told her.
“Princess?”
“Yes, Princess,” I reiterated, stressing the word princess.
‘I’m not your ‘princess.’”
"Leah, I said I was sorry,” I said, my frustration bleeding out.
“For what?”
"For-umm…” I said, trying to figure out exactly what she wanted to hear.
“Whatever, R.H.M.,” she snapped as she pulled her watch off to turn it back on. “There. Done. Is there anything else?”
“Princess–”
She shut the door in my face, making the urge to kick it open and make her talk to me. I turned on my heel, needing to get as far away from her house as I could. When I got back to my office, I threw myself back into my chair while I pulled her weekly task folder toward me while I was waiting for her to come into view of the cameras again. I flipped to the list of tentative task twos, before grinning when I realized all of the original twos had already been completed. She had already willingly gone to a gathering. She had already made friends, one of which I wished she hadn’t, but she still made them. She had also started to explore the community on her own. I turned the page to her task threes, shaking my head when she had already completed two of the three tasks already.
She had already spent alone time with one of her friends, and had also decided on a job. The only task she hadn’t completed was to find a coping skill that would help her when her thoughts overwhelmed her. This task she would have two weeks to complete since she didn’t have a task two. I quickly wrote up her new card before settling back to watch her with Rosemary. As their time together went on, I could see pain in her eyes grow as she listened to Rosemary talk about being pregnant. When they sat on the couch to watch a movie with plates loaded with Rosemary’s delicious brownies, I went into the room off the office so I could shower.
As I stood under the warm spray, I couldn’t help but think of the way Leah looked in that towel when she came to answer the door. I leaned my head against my arm on the wall as I quickly relieved my erection. I hadn’t touched a female in years. Hell, I hadn’t even had a full on erection in months. My sex drive had become almost non-existence when I lost my wife, but since meeting Leah, everything had reawakened. After toweling off, I wandered into my bedroom to lay down. I pulled up the surveillance feeds from the community on my laptop, setting the usual settings so I would be alerted in case I fell asleep.
I picked up the book on my bedside table before repositioning my pillows so I could be comfortable. I definitely needed some murder mystery in my life tonight to distract me from the need to be with Leah. A little over an hour later, sobbing drew my attention to my laptop. I scanned all of the feeds before zeroing in on Leah's bedroom camera. She was curled up on the bed with her arms wrapped around her dog, sobbing. My heart ached as I watched her for a moment before getting up to go to her house. I let myself in before walking to her bedroom. Sugar growled at me as she shifted in Leah’s arms to be in a better position to protect her if need be. Leah raised her tear-stained face to meet my eyes.
“Why are you here?” She sniffled.
I kicked my shoes off before slowly slipping under the covers with her to take her in my arms. I wrapped my arms around her waist, tugging her back against my body. “I know that you’re angry with me, Princess, but you need someone to be here right now. You can go back to hating me tomorrow.”
She rolled toward me, wrapping her arms around me as she buried her face in my chest. “Thank you.”
I kissed her forehead as her tears renewed. What I already knew was coming back to bounce around my head with a vengeance. I really needed to fix our relationship. I hated that she was so upset with me. Maybe I would ask Joey for help. He seemed to be figuring out the species that was females. I kissed her forehead again before starting to hum the lullaby that always soothed my triplets. Longing filled me as I thought about them, but only a few tears escaped. For a long time after Leah fell asleep, I hummed the lullaby, just simply thinking about my girls. As I started to drift off, I thought to myself, ‘Maybe I was ready to start healing.’