Panic and Doubt

I woke up with a jerk that was immediately followed by panic when the bed was empty next to me. I sat up straight, looking around for Leah, but only found Sugar who was sitting beside the door. I whistled at her and her head whipped around to look at me before coming over to leap onto the bed. I petted her head, watching the door with her for a moment.
“Where’s Mommy, sweet girl?” I crooned to her.
Her tail started to wag but her eyes remained glued to the door. I got up, stretching as I made my way to my office, just knowing that she was in there, trying to snoop again. When I opened the door, I was shocked to find that she wasn’t inside. Frowning deeply, I quickly checked the rest of the office before storming back into my bedroom to get dressed. I went to lift my wrist to my mouth before lowering it to stare at the lack of my watch.
“Fuck!” I grumbled. “What did you do, Leah?”
I jammed my feet into my shoes before rushing out of the bedroom, only to stop beside my desk when I saw my watch along with a letter on it. I picked up the paper to read it, grinning like a fool when I saw her messy handwriting.
*‘R. H. M.,*
*I’m sorry I took your watch off. You were really tired and Darcy kept bothering you. If you wake up before I get back, I went to my house.’*
I pocketed her letter before taking the stairs down to go to the Adams’ house. I cursed the second I turned down her street and saw her standing at the fence, talking to Armadillo, who narrowed his eyes on me as I approached them. When she put her hand on his arm, I stopped walking, my eyes on the spot where she touched him. He smirked at me as he stepped closer to her, leaning toward her more as he spoke softly to her.
I closed my eyes as worry filled me. What if I was wrong? I hated not knowing how she felt. What if everything we were doing was just going to help her be with someone else? My eyes snapped open when Rosemary called my name. Leah turned her head to look at me, breaking into a huge smile.
“R. H. M., hi,” she gushed.
“Hey, Phoenix. I’m sorry to intrude on your time, but you’re late,” I told her, needing her to move away from Armadillo.
“Late? For–”
“You had a meeting with Mister today,” I said.
“I did–oh. Yes. That’s right. I totally forgot. He had an exercise for me to do.” She smiled at Armadillo. “I’m sorry to just run out on our conversation but I promise that we will finish it later on, okay?”
He nodded, keeping his eyes on me. “Yeah, sure.”
She hugged him and my anger surged even stronger in me. I turned toward Rosemary as she called my name again before walking away from Leah and Armadillo to her.
“Hey, Rosemary, what’s up?” I asked.
“I don’t think Darcy should be here, R. H. M.,” she informed me.
“Why do you say that?”
“Well, after last night, I have had a bad feeling all day. So when I saw Phoenix go back to the house, I went over too. The conversation that I walked in on was not something that should have ever happened. And–”
“What was being said?”
“Darcy was telling her that the guy–Will– had changed and just wanted her to come home. She was telling Phoenix that she was cruel to stay away from a man that loved her so much and just wanted to be with her,” she murmured quietly, glancing at Leah, who was still chatting with Armadillo while she waited for me.
“How did Phoenix react?” I inquired.
“She was okay at first but the more Darcy pushed her ‘guilt’ on her, the more anxious she got. When Leah finally started crying, I pulled her out of the house and away from Darcy.”
I narrowed my eyes on her. “Leah?”
“Yes, R. H. M., Leah. I know you told Darcy not to use her real name, but she insisted on it. It’s a violation and one that Phoenix is not ready for. Every time Darcy said her name, she got more frazzled. And I don’t think it was Darcy using her name, I think it was more the way she said it.”
“How did she say it?” I asked.
“With disdain. With— I don’t know, pure menace.”
I turned around to study Leah, looking for any sign that she was upset. After a few moments, I nodded.
“I’ll handle it. Thank you,” I told her.
“Of course. Phoenix is a sweet girl. She is trying hard and I don’t want this to set her back.”
I nodded again. “Thank you. Will you ask Taco to watch her again tonight while I get a plan together?”
“Yes. One more thing, R. H. M.: be careful because I think Darcy wants you. I know that you are with Phoenix–”
“I’m not with Phoenix,” I denied out of habit.
“Mhmmm. You say that, but the look in your eyes when you look at her says otherwise.” She patted my arm. “You two are cute. Embrace it, sir. You might be just what each other needs.”
She walked off leaving me standing there, staring after her. I shook my head to clear my head before going back over to Leah and Armadillo.
“Are you ready?” I asked her softly.
“Yeah. Thank you again for understanding, Armadillo.”
“Of course. R. H. M., a word before you go,” he requested, making me almost groan.
I didn’t want to talk to him. Not again. Every time we did, he accused me of trying to use Leah, and that was not what was going on at all. I wearily followed him a few steps away.
“Yes?”
“She said that you haven’t pressured her into anything, so I just wanted to apologize for what I said to you yesterday. I was just worried,” he told me.
I nodded. “It’s okay. I understand. But I just want you to know that I would never force her into something she wasn’t okay doing.”
“I know. She’s just the first woman who has caught my attention and I want to help her. Whatever that means,” he mumbled.
“I get that,” I chuckled lightly as I patted his arm. “She has that effect on people. No harm done. Now, I really must go. Phoenix is really late.”
“Alright.”
I hurried back to Leah, gesturing back toward my office. “After you.”
We walked silently until we were out of view of any other member. I smiled softly at her as she stepped closer to take my hand while she laid her head on my shoulder.
“What are we doing?”
“Well, there is a special computer program that will create a world for you so that you can explore a normal community, and start to discover what you like or the type of person you might want to be with in the future. It’s a safe place for you to explore your desires and what you might enjoy in a sexual way,” I answered her.
“So do you play in the program too?” She asked.
“Not usually. I run the program. Sometimes, I plug in my own world and use the program. I guide my members, helping them feel safe in a hard situation.”
“What if I want you to join me inside the program?” She whispered, blushing.
“Then I will join you eventually. When you get to the point of exploring your sexuality, we will create a male counterpart for you and–”
“You.”
“What?”
“You. My male counterpart. I want it to be. Your face, your body, and your personality,” she said confidently.
“Leah, you don’t have to decide now. You can take your time and–”
“I don’t have to think about it, R. H. M. You said the program was supposed to be a safe place for me to explore. If it’s my safe place, then it should be my choice.” She stopped walking to wrap her arms around my waist. “You make me feel safe, R. H. M. I want it to be you.”
I sighed as I picked her up. “Alright, Princess.”
She nuzzled into my neck. “And maybe after, we can do what we did yesterday…”
I groaned as I shifted my hands to her ass, gripping it before slowly massaging it. “You are going to be the death of me.”
“Or maybe, I’ll just be your triumph,” she whispered before kissing my neck. “Win with me, R. H. M. Let’s explore somewhere we’re both safe.”
I squeezed her ass again before nodding. “Alright, Leah. I’ll try.”
“That’s all I’m asking. It’s all I’ve ever wanted from you.”
I set her down in the middle of my office before reaching for the V.R. headset to put on her head. “I know, princess. And I promise that I will try to never let you down again.”
I tipped her face up to peck her lips before walking out to my other desk so I could run the program. I pulled up the camera in my main office before preparing the program to start. I took a deep breath as I eyed Leah on the camera before pushing the start button.
“Here we go…”