CHAPTER117
When did this happen? When did my feelings spill beyond friendship this badly?
I’ve seen him with other women …
He’s always been this way; when did I start reacting like this? Breaking my heart over him being his Casanova self.
“After I’m gone, tell the others I had to go away for a couple of days.” He’s picking up his suitcase, his body stiff with tension, and the hatred oozing between us is unbearable.
“What reason shall I give?” I sound alien. This fake politeness between us is thick in the stifling air. We’re both exceptionally good at cold and polite.
“I don’t give a shit, Emma. The truth, for all I care.” He flexes his eyebrows sardonically.
That was a blow. It hurt; it knocked the wind out of my sails. I move back as he stalks out with suitcase in hand. He slides his shades on, and he doesn’t even look at me; he seems beyond pissed.
Should I follow him? Should I stay here?
Stop hovering, Emma; it’s pathetic.
I don’t know what to do; this isn’t me, not anymore. He’s up the hall and out the door in the blink of an eye, obviously determined to leave. I hesitate, then follow; I’m not sure why, but I suddenly need to cling to his presence, the last moments of him. I just want him to stop this; he’s making me feel so alone. So broken.
I lose him at the top of the stairs, the sun hurting my eyes. I blink and shield them from view, and suddenly I want him to slide his glasses over my eyes the way he always does. I want him to brush my hair back and take care of me. I want the Jake I know and care about, not this cruel, cold man who doesn’t give a shit about me.
I want to cry as sheer hysteria and panic consume me. I catch sight of him near the stern of the boat; he’s following one of the crew down to the awaiting speed boat.
Oh my god. He really is going; it’s not a ruse. He really wants to kill me.
I want to scream out and run after him, but I’m rooted to the spot as I watch him descend into the waiting boat. I can’t bear to see him leave, so I turn on my heel and run back to my room at full speed. I run like my ass is on fire and don’t stop until I slam down onto my bed and sob out every bottled-up, deep-wracking emotion, right up from the tips of my toes in a spewing out of desperate agony.
I don’t know how long I’m there, but I can’t stop; it’s like a dam has opened, the floodgates broken. Everything I’ve ever held back comes out with the pain I’ve always avoided. I can’t breathe; it’s suffocating and unbearable. It’s excruciating and every cell of my body is in bleeding agony.
Jake is breaking my heart."
