CHAPTER475
I finally break away and push him away gently, aware that I am no longer ready to give all in anymore; a part of me is guarded and unwilling to give him too much. He has a lot to prove to get back into my heart and my head fully. I’m too bruised.
“I need to get dressed. Give me a few minutes.” I smile softly at him, pulling away to create space and bringing my robe tighter around me like a protective shield. Arry watches me with a serious expression and a hint of understanding before he sighs and waves me away.
“Take your time, I need to lay down and stop this room spinning for like five minutes or I’ll be no good to anyone.” he moves back to my bed and lets himself slump ungracefully on top of my white unused comforter, pushing pink fluffy cushions aside as he wriggles in to get comfy, making it clear he has no intention of leaving me. I frown but also find myself smiling unintentionally. The man who has been absent for months now seems incapable of leaving me be for even minutes and I guess in a way it’s what I need. I want this from, being left alone will only give me time to convince myself to tell him to walk away and maybe my pride shouldn’t be so fast to dismiss this.
I turn to my walk-in closet and head towards it once more, to start to get dressed quickly. Pulling on a short jersey dress and leggings, I stand to stare at my shoulder-length blonde hair and big bright blue eyes, no longer seeing a child gazing back from my makeup-free face. In the last few months, I seem to have aged a little, maybe it’s fatigue and my hangover, but I definitely do not look as childish as I did. Maybe it’s my hair, or the slight weight I lost from not eating properly when I was living in heartbreak, or maybe real turmoil adds years to a girl. Or maybe it was from last night and taking steps onto the path to sex, but something in me has changed.
Emerging I realize his breathing has become deeper and slower as though he is asleep, and I hesitate about disturbing him; not sure if I should or leave him be and eat downstairs, because my stomach is practically assaulting me from hunger pangs. Walking around the side of the bed to where his face is exposed and catch him looking at me, fully wide awake and seemingly lost in thought.
“Hey.” Arrick sits up before pulling himself up, sliding down to stand beside me and towering above me while I’m still barefoot. He leans in and kisses me delicately on the forehead. Coming so close without physically touching me, still aware that he doesn’t really have the right just yet. An unspoken rule that he knows that touching is a privilege and not a given.
“Hey.” I smile shyly. Trying to look at those deep soft eyes and not let my head run a hundred miles an hour again with all the craziness still mashed up in there.
“I was thinking about you, about us.” He reaches out and strokes back a single strand of hair from my eyebrow lightly, letting his fingers trail down my cheek tenderly when he moves it and then leans in to rest his forehead against mine.
“And?” I frown up at him. Trying not to go weak at the knees with his touch, resolve weakening with every moment I am around him, despite myself.
“I think we should go get breakfast and maybe find your friends and Nate and let this lie for now. I can only start proving that I mean everything I say with actions. You don’t owe me an answer, baby, not until I prove things to you. I’m not going to pressure you, just be around if you want me to be.” He gives me that cute boy half-smile with full dimples and I can’t stop myself from doing it back; it’s infectious when he looks this way. Like he is lifting all pressure from me in one swift move and suddenly I feel more able to take a breath and relax.
“Sounds like a good plan to me. I need time, Arry … and I am pretty hungry.” I can’t seem to look at him for long, shyness crippling me, an awkwardness that I can’t understand, and I hope that it’s down to being overly emotionally tired. Maybe it’s the months of separation, as surely, I can’t be this shy with a guy who had his mouth between my legs last night and very clearly made me climax. I still cannot get that memory out of my head when I glance at that sensual mouth and wonder how the hell he could be so gifted as well as so completely hot. My mind causing my inner body to heat up a little, surprisingly, and I cough to clear the sudden urges that hit me low down, feeling inappropriate suddenly.
“Food was always the way into your heart, Mimmo. I’m in no fit state to drive, so we’re walking. How about Nancie’s? You used to be obsessed with her waffles. I’ll call Nate and you can track down your two.” He moves back to give me space, less obviously awkward than me, but I can sense his apprehension around acting normal with me. It’s like we are both pretending that we are okay, and everything is fine, yet we’re both walking on eggshells and being weirdly abnormal.
Nancie’s is a nearby little bistro we frequented over the years. It started as an ice-cream and sundaes parlor and moved into breakfasts and brunches in later years. Arry used to take me there on a whim, anytime I craved their food and he always knew it would cheer me up no matter what. I can’t deny he’s working his way back in without really trying. Knowing me the way he does gives him an arsenal of advantages.
“I would kill for a banana and blueberry waffle, smothered in pecan syrup.” my mouth’s already watering, glad of the distraction, glad that I don’t need to think about him or me right now or where this is going to go. Just focus on the food, getting fed, maybe some sleep after to let my head catch up on its own.
“How did I know you would order that? Whatever my girl wants. I need to grab my wallet from the house real quick and tell my mom we’re going out for food. We better find the rest of them.” He lets me go and hesitates before taking my hand in his gently, the small pause as he waits for me to pull away, but I don’t. I let him interlace our fingers and throw him a soft look that I hope portrays the fact that I don’t actually hate him."
