CHAPTER501
“Shit … I’m seriously going to be late.” I’m running around looking for my shoes and trying to get myself together before Christian picks me up for the school open day. So not with it, still half drunk, feeling like shit and in need of way more sleep, trying not to dwell on last night and Arry has not brought it up at all. He’s acting like it never happened, although we literally haven’t had a second to think since I opened my eyes. He is trying to help me to get myself together and just keeps getting in my way, clucking around me, clearly still in protector mode.
I’m not a morning person, I never have been, and I’m so unbelievably irritable this morning. I think it’s the after-effects of last night and dreams filled with horrid memories that left me exhausted and raw inside. I know I must have been crying out in my sleep, I woke several times to Arrick calming me down and pulling me close, stroking my face and telling me he was there.
I want to throat punch everyone this morning, maybe not him, but everyone else. Aggression levels are abnormally high and I feel crazily out of my head and should have stayed in bed.
“Here. Calm down, you have time.” Arrick hands me my shoe, his tone deliberately steady and cool and I hop around trying to get it on. We have barely had a moment to talk this morning. From eyes flying open when I realized I never set an alarm, to falling out of bed into a room that was still spinning. I ended up face down, hanging over the side precariously with the duvet round my ankles, Arrick trying to pull me up from behind while laughing at my hopelessness and not helping in any way.
“I hate you.” I curse at him for no reason other than he’s getting the blame for the state I am in, as he was the one plying me with booze all night, telling me to let go as he would take care of me. I’m never listening to him again, and I really think we need to talk about the amount of alcohol we drink together when we are out. I’m starting to see a distinct flaw in our compatibility when we get that way.
“Sure you do.” He smiles at me with that annoyingly morning brightness of his, a lot less dead than me and, thankfully, all those marks on his face from last night have almost faded away. There are grazes and the odd healing bump, but all the redness is gone. I straighten up and look at him pointedly.
“We shouldn’t drink, we just act like assholes when we do.” I guess this is my way of apologizing to him, without apologizing. And I guess my pathetic way of trying to broach the subject.
Lame Sophie.
“I am more than aware of that. Although the times we have, the first half of the alternative to fighting was pretty good.” Arrick winks cheekily and then sighs and runs a finger along my jaw. He is right, the moments of not freaking out and not fighting had been more than good, and it really makes me want to experience it with him all the more, torn that alcohol is the devil’s work. I mean, he really only ever loses his inhibitions about touching me that way when he has had a few, and I want to know what it’s like to have him make love to me without all the mess that happens around us. Even after last night, I still want that with him.
I wonder If that will ever happen now?
If the first time freaked him out for a month, then I have no idea what last night will do to his head. He is in an ultra-protective mode, gentle and fluffing around me like a mother hen, making me feel a little suffocated today. I know that means that overthinking, over logical brain will put the brakes on anything else for a long time.
“You need to eat.” He points me in the direction of the kitchen, to which I haul my unicorn cookie out of my handbag and wave it at him childishly.
“Sorted.” I grin and see him curb the urge to have a go at me, sighing instead and holding his tongue. I guess last night has some perks, after all, he doesn’t want to upset me this morning and is putting up with tremendous amounts of grumpiness and bad behavior from me.
“If it wasn’t for the fact that you are coming back here at ten, then I would make you eat something else. I’ll make some food as soon as you get back.” He frowns at me and moves to the kitchen while I attempt to get my damp hair in order, no time to dry it from the quick shower I had, and my makeup is all at home. I hadn’t thought about getting ready here when I met him at the bowling alley straight from my apartment. As it is, luckily, I have some clothes here and managed to find something sort of casual to wear with low heeled shoes I left behind his couch. The fact I’m a lazy, messy ass who litters his entire apartment all the time with all my belongings is really a good thing, now that I think of it. The buzzer goes, and I curse at the time once more.
“I need to go, that’s him and we’ll be late if we get caught in traffic.” I grab my bag and coat, push my cookie in my pocket and turn to give Arrick a quick kiss. He catches me by the face and sinks a far dreamier smooch on me that makes everything stop for a full minute. The kind of kiss that makes every stressful feeling melt away, down to your toes, and leaves you a little breathless. He pulls back and rubs his nose against mine gently.
“I love you.” He smiles at me softly, full hazel eyes this morning and looking like my idea of heaven. I go to say it in response, but hesitate; that little inner me holding back, frowning and I bite my lip a little unsurely.
“You’re lame.” I blurt out instead, deflecting stupidly, with a smile and see him break into a smile too.
“So close that time.” He grins, and I roll my eyes to hide how horrible it makes me feel to withhold those three little words from him. Hating that after everything, I still can’t just say it to him, even though I know I do. I wave my bag in the air, in an attempt to kill the awkwardness, I now feel as I run for the elevator without a backward glance."
