CHAPTER586
I have no actual words, like my normally laid back and go with the flow boy has taken a run and jumped off a damn cliff and this crazy imposter ranting about cutting himself out of Carrero Corp is his doppelganger. I feel sick to my stomach and my anxiety levels quadruple.
“You do put me before work, Arrick… Don’t you see that? You moved us to France, for me… you commuted across another country… for me. You are resigning, because of me. You always take care of me, even when you’re not physically with me; you make sure I have people around me to do your job. You missed my show, but you sent Christian, who probably was more excited than you about it anyway. You always make sure I’m cared for in your absence in the form of Janetta and Boris. You always put me at the front of everything … I do not need you to resign! … We need to come home and go back to our lives from before. No more Paris, no more commutes. We can be like we were.” the panic rising inside of me, knowing how immense a deal this is. This isn’t just about him cutting out of something he loves doing. This is about hurting his relationship with his father and possibly Jake too, although I’m sure Jake will be more understanding. Giovanni, however, will not. This is something he built for his sons to carry on and it has always been known that eventually he would hand his control to his sons to run the business in a fifty split they would pass onto their own kids. Arrick cutting out to be nothing more than a shareholder will cause a huge rift and no longer being part of the loop will be something he will regret. I cannot let him do this.
Even when he chose a fight career over Carrero Corp, he still kept his hand in and on top of things, he was never out of the loop. He went to college to learn business, so he could be a part of his family’s empire. He is a Carrero he should be a part of Carrero Corp.
“I’m doing this for us, Sophs. I told you I never wanted to lose you and these past few months… I’m losing us! Why did you never tell me you hated the people at school?” Arrick looks pained and I realize that little comment must have been sitting there in his brain since yesterday. He has been mulling it over, even though we talked it all out and it’s all part of the reason he thinks this is what we should do.
My overthinker is still in there.
“I didn’t want you to think moving there was a mistake. I didn’t want you to worry about me and make this more of a deal than it is.” I shrug and feel ashamed that after everything, I basically lied about something this dumb.
“This is what I mean, baby… I’m your best friend, on top of everything else we are, this is something you would have told me before. Yet because of me running back and forth and dealing with work, you didn’t. You kept something this important quiet and kept suffering alone. I’m so fucking tired of leaving you alone; that has never been the purpose of us, we are better together in every way. We suffer when we are apart, that’s not a flaw, it’s how we work.” Arrick gets up and climbs on the bed beside me, hauling me into his arms and leaning back so I am nestled against him, entangling our fingers snugly.
“I knew you would get stressed out with the fact they were all hostile bitches and there was nothing you could do about it. I handled it, Arry. They mean nothing in the grand scheme of things and after this they won’t mean a thing anymore. They are irrelevant to the bigger picture.” I’m trying to soothe him; I don’t want him bearing a burden of guilt for my choice.
“I hate that you didn’t talk to me… didn’t tell me. I hate knowing that all that time living there, Sophs… there was no one else in your life, but me. It explains why things became so much more strained out there.” His voice is hoarse and torn, and I know this is getting to his overprotective side on serious levels, as regret and shame rushes through me for ever hiding this. If it was the other way around, then I guess I would feel crushed that he kept something from me for a whole year that affected him this way.
“It’s done…I am done with all of it. I want to come home and get back to what we had here, before we ever went there.” I want my real friends, our shared friends and our social life back. I want the access to my family again and the monthly trips home to see them. I want New York and this apartment and Arrick in our bed every night beside me. I want the happiness back that I felt going to school here and all my hopes and dreams of the future back with it too. Paris has dented all of that.
“We need to go back … I won’t let you run out of the last month of school after getting through all of this. I need you to face this with me and at least end your year there properly. Finish school, get what we want from our apartment and I’ll sell it.” He’s back to sounding commanding and a little bit Jake-like but this time it’s not as bad and I’m not bristling at the tone. I understand his need to fix everything for us and make this right. Understand Arricks constant need to do things the right way, it’s always at the heart of everything he does, and I guess a part of me agrees in this.
I assumed that leaving now won’t affect my grades for my year, but after assaulting Claude, there is no telling what damage he might do. Maybe letting Arry loose on him is better for me after all and I can’t argue that we do need to go pick out and pack up what we want to bring home. We have accumulated a lot of stuff in Paris that I want here, and I really need to be there to do that.
“We only go back until I am officially done, then we’re out of there and we never go back … three weeks Arry. That’s all I have left of school and that’s more than enough time to orchestrate getting our belongings back here and the apartment up for sale. We’re coming home.” I am not budging in this; my mind is made up. Paris is like a dirty word to me now, all my experiences there have soured the city I should love as a fashion designer. I want my familiar back and my life.
“Three weeks and we come home together. We get married and we restart life back here. We fix us.” He lifts me onto his lap and wraps his arms around me to snuggle me close, burying his face in my hair as I curl up against that rock-hard chest.
“Sounds like the best idea you ever had.” I giggle and close my eyes when his mouth rests against my head as he kisses me through my hair.
“You were the best idea I ever had.” He squeezes me tight and I guess I can’t argue with that one."
