CHAPTER629
“He’s in the men’s room.” She responds a little cattily and I glance back at the bud in her hand with a moment of doubt.
Arry wouldn’t be here as her date. I know him. I have to not read anything into this and trust that he values what we could still have.
“Right.” I frown and attempt to pull the full-on bitch out of my tone.
“Talking of which.” She immediately perks up and pushes past me, extending the bud and as I turn around. I am hit with the full force of seeing my boy in all his glory again for the first time. He hasn’t automatically clicked the blonde with his PA is me and he’s taking the drink from her with a quick smile before his eyes come to land on my face and I see any form of realization.
He looks so handsome. His shirt is semi fitted and open at the collar over dark pants, his jacket looks so tailored on that muscular body, black and open wide and even though he’s obviously been at work in this outfit, it somehow looks right for this casual setting. He looks like my idea of a perfect dream and those hazel eyes come to rest on me silently for a brief second.
We regard each other. No one says anything, and no one seems to react. I feel like all the air gets sucked out of my lungs and the longing to jump into his arms overwhelms me.
“What are you doing here?” Is the first thing he says. Dead pan, emotionally concealed and my heart sinks a little more. He doesn’t look happy that I am here, and I have to remind myself that he doesn’t have to. I have to fix things and his reaction is something I should accept and understand. This isn’t about Arrick chasing me anymore. This is about me getting him back.
“I came home to see you… You don’t seem thrilled to see me.” I try for a smile; aware Amanda is still hanging around even if she has stepped back and I will her to go trip up on her ridiculous shoes or choke. I want her to go away.
“Should I be? Last time I saw you we broke up and you told me to leave. I haven’t had any demanding texts from you lately, so I am kind of shocked you turned up here.”
He sounds so cold, and not like my Arry at all and it’s breaking my heart. This isn’t a bickering fight and sometime apart I am dealing with. Arry is done with me and my behavior and he doesn’t look overly interested in talking it out. I hurt him more than even I have comprehended, and my heart aches with complete remorse. My throat goes dry with nerves and a longing to touch him when he is this close.
I blink back my tears and try for a smile, trying to appear unaffected by the cutting words and remind myself of my plan to put things right. I ignore his sarcasm, because I know he’s trying to wound me an ounce of how I’ve hurt him, and I look away from the way he’s intensely staring at me, all adoration devoid in the icy look.
Amanda has the sense to quietly move and wander off in the direction of the suited people nearby and Arrick sighs heavily as I stand there, lost for words.
“Just go home.” He goes to walk past me, dismiss me, but I impulsively grab his arm and turn him with desperation.
“I came home because I missed you, because I’m sorry. I want to make things right. I need to talk to you.” It comes out childishly, all my rehearsed speeches and apologies falling to ashes when faced with a very real threat that maybe I’m too late.
“Sorry? For what exactly? For throwing everything back in my face when I needed you. For pushing me out and punishing me? Or do you mean for pretty much acting like a spoiled brat and blaming me for everything that goes wrong in your life no matter what I do to try and rectify it?”
Ouch.
Arrick isn’t playing nice or thinking about reunions. Arrick is in closed down, stay the hell away from me mode and I have never had to pull him out of this. He isn’t one to hold grudges or moods for a long time, especially not days apart. He really isn’t happy to see me at all.
“Yes, all of that.” I mutter softly, hurt into submission as tears fill my eyes and I’m losing all strength and conviction in my plan. I have no idea what to say. Out of my depth and like a stupid little girl with no understanding of how a real relationship works at all. Arry has sheltered, chased, and pampered me for so long that I don’t know how to be the one to make it all right. I didn’t expect the bitterness or accusation from hi., I had this stupid idea we would make up dramatically and romantically and realized that all along I have assumed he would fall over with happiness at having me back.
I deserve this for being so naïve and self-absorbed.
“I’m done … With all of it. Done with running after you, taking care of everything and being a doormat. It’s not who I am, and I’ve let you get away with it for so long because I was wrapped up in how I felt about you. You weren’t there when I needed you. I’m starting to realize it was only a matter of time before we started to crack—we have been in a bubble for too long. Real life and real problems are too much for us.”
I grip the necklace around my throat impulsively as his words cut me to the core, the tiny puzzle piece digging cruelly into my palm as I try to catch my breath. A symbol of what we are, and it feels like it’s choking me suddenly. He seems so hard and cruel.
“You don’t mean that.” I blurt it out brokenly, but he lifts his beer and takes a drink, looking away from me with a frown that almost seems to say, ‘Don’t I?’
“Just leave. I have people waiting on me and I have no head space for this shit right now.” It’s so defeated and low, almost as though he doesn’t even have the energy to even talk to me. He makes a move and I croak.
“Arrick?” It comes out strangled and painful and a tear rolls down my cheek pathetically. I never saw this coming at all but even as it’s killing me, I know I deserve all of it. He’s walking away, and I’m left standing here looking like some dumb unwanted weirdo. I don’t move, even when I catch Amanda glance my way and look away quickly, a moment of smug on her face and I can’t bear it any longer."
