CHAPTER159
Nothing changed there then.
“Emma, I’m really sorry to bother you at work … I know you don’t like it … But your mother is here,” she mumbles sheepishly then silences at my angry gasp of air.
“What the f—?” I cut myself off, glancing around the room for listening ears. There are a couple of assistants milling about so I lower my voice, bringing my mouth to the receiver to quietly hiss.
“What the hell is she doing there?” I know I shouldn’t take this out on Sarah, she’s only the messenger but I’m seething from every pore at the mere mention of Jocelyn Anderson’s appearance. Weak pathetic woman who chose another abusive boyfriend over sense or logic.
She has no right to show up like this! Invading my life after what she’s done.
“She says she came to see you … To talk … What shall I do with her, Ems? I need to leave for work soon, I’m on an early shift today.” She sounds genuinely upset, knowing she’s stuck between a rock and a hard place, but my girl knows which side she should be rooting for—if she has any sense at all. I take a steadying breath, pushing down my internal rage in a bid to remain calm and adjust my tone to as neutral as I can muster.
“Show her the door,” I reply bluntly. “I need to get back to work, Sarah. Goodbye.”
“Emma, but—”
I hang up quickly. I know Sarah will try to talk me around, but I can’t deal with this right now. I can’t deal with anything lately. I just need everything in my messed up, pitiful life, to take ten steps back, give my brain time to stop reeling and find its feet again. The last few weeks have been one constant headache and I’m drowning, I can barely breathe with it all.
My cell rings again but I reject the call. Sarah is persistent, more so of late since the changes in me have hit her hard; I feel like she’s been smothering me with over-protectiveness. She doesn’t know this version of me, this unraveling mess of tears and bad moods, the scatter brain behavior, or the chaos I’m leaving in my wake. I think even she longs for a hint of the old Emma to come back and I’m really trying, for both our sakes. Her insecurity over my new persona is obvious and upsetting.
Somehow the mention of my mother has flipped a little switch inside me though and a wave of numb seeps in as the icy controlled part of PA Emma takes hold. I’ll have to deal with my mother at some point, just not right now, and it only angers me further that she thinks she can just waltz in unannounced as though I owe her my time. I lift my chin defiantly.
That’s right, use the anger to fuel your return, cling on to that tiny piece of defiance and get your goddamn life back on track!
I am relieved at the tiny inkling of fire burning deep down inside my belly once more.
You’re still in there, Emma. You can do this.
Walking into the board room I catch sight of the mess left behind from the breakfast meeting I obviously missed. Not that I really care. I sigh, heavily, since it’s me who is going to have to clear this up, despite this floor paying cleaners to keep the place tidy—but they usually only appear after hours. I pout at the monotonous tasks that have become mine. It’s so deflating considering I used to travel the world as the right hand of an accomplished CEO.
What the hell happened to me? This time last month I was PA to Jake Carrero! I was organizing his entire life, sitting in five-star hotels, pouring over contracts with him. We were friends and the whole time I was trying to ignore the fact I was head over heels in love with him.
I shake my head, discarding the thoughts that come uninvited into my mind, and start picking up the scattered documents and brochures from the table and returning them to the cart to be filed away. I stack the empty mugs and plates on the trolley, meant for serving food and drink, by the door. At least I can lose myself in cleaning up this room and bringing some calm back to the chaos in my head. I set myself to task, submerging my brain into deep cleaning the room and wiping away the mess made by its previous occupants; hopefully some of it will rub off on my thoughts and help me get back to myself."
