CHAPTER303
My heart aches with his response and a tear catches in my throat. My Jake with his fast words that always sing to me, so in tune with everything I need to hear. I reply with a text and a song, a twinkling little smile stuck clearly on my face.
Avril Lavigne “Keep Holding On” … I love you more xxx”
“You two are sickeningly cute you know?” Leila is watching the obvious happiness spread on my face, thanks to Jake’s messages, and seems a little forlorn where love is concerned. I feel guilty for ignoring her and pull myself up to move closer to her, putting my phone face down on the bed so it won’t distract me if he replies. “Jake and his pushy one hundred mile an hour self.” Leila giggles, bringing us back to the conversation about the house and a quick sale now she has my full attention, she pops another grape into her mouth. I beam as I think of him. I wouldn’t change him anymore; not even that part of him now I know where it stems from. Jake is always going to be pushy, bossy, and sometimes domineering but I’m sure I have traits that are equally bad and I’m learning how to counteract him in my own way. I love him regardless and sometimes I even love those things about him.
“Pushy, impulsive and spontaneous while I’m cautious, over aware and over analyze.” I sigh and reach for a piece of fruit to pick at despite being full to bursting already.
“Perfect balance, babes … You need each other to even things out.” Leila grins at me knowingly, all hints of sadness now gone from that pretty face. I push more grapes in my own mouth and smile at her observation.
I never thought of it that way.
“What about Daniel? Any word on that front?” Since Hunter started therapy he’s been keeping out of the way, only calling Jake every couple of days, and Leila hasn’t mentioned him at all since her arrival earlier.
“One text … Telling me he was trying to figure things out and to give him time.” Leila shrugs and rolls on her back, avoiding my eye contact suddenly. “I told him I met someone else, so to push off.” She adds quickly and avoids even looking at me, lifting the magazine above her face as though she’s trying to read in that position.
“What? Why?” I sit upright a little too quickly, upsetting the tray on the comforter, sending grapes rolling everywhere, and eye her accusingly. She shrugs and pastes on the defiant furrow of her brows that I can still see clearly even from this angle.
“I told you I’m done waiting for him, yeah, he’s finally in therapy … Bravo. But for how long? And how long before he doesn’t run a mile at any hint of real affection, Emma?” Leila sits up with a single tear in her eye. “He hurt me for the last time. Really hurt me. Why would I sit around waiting for something that may never actually happen? Therapy is a start, but it doesn’t mean it will actually change much.”
I must admit I didn’t see this coming at all. She has waited so long for some sort of real emotion from the guy and now he’s doing something about it, she’s running the other way. I can’t help but wonder if Leila is now scared about the change in him and the possibility of more.
“I think he loves you, Leila … He’s doing this for you,” I try, but that stubborn lift of her chin and hardening of her soft face shuts me up.
“He should be doing it for himself. I don’t want that pressure.” A tear rolls down her cheek and she brushes it away with an angry jut to her bottom lip. Inner Leila always fighting to come out and push him away, pushing away the memory of heartbreak and any weakness concerning Daniel.
“Is there really someone else?” I push in a new direction. I know how she can be; the more you pry, the higher that defensive wall kicks in, Leila really doesn’t do victim at all. In fact, she rarely does any sort of weakness.
“Kurt Robson … He’s followed me around for years. He’s like a little puppy dog always trying to get my attention and I figure maybe it’s time to let him try. He’d never hurt me. He’s safe and gentle and kind and he completely dotes on me.” She can’t look me in the eye at all and I feel utter sadness for her. She’s running to safety, running to a man she doesn’t love, because he can’t and never will hurt her.
“How do you feel about him?” I reach out and touch her fingers when I see that distant daydreamy look in her eye as her head gets lost in thought. No doubt thinking about the one man she’s refusing to give any sort of chance to.
Oh, Leila!
“I’ll learn to love him. I mean he’s sweet, handsome
and funny. He treats me nicely and he never drops me like I’m some infectious disease, he doesn’t care about
my past. He’s calm and straightforward with no wild tendencies, the exact opposite to Daniel. It’s what I need.” She swallows down the surge of emotion and pastes a bright smile on her face. Her eyes betray what’s coming out of her mouth, but I let it go.
An overwhelming sadness hits me in my stomach and can’t stop the moisture hitting my eyes. Here is a girl completely in love with a man who is completely in love with her and yet neither can get it together and just be happy. Daniel is what Leila needs. Safe, dull, and kind will only last so long. She needs someone as hot and fiery as her to match her every mood and handle her at her worst. She needs someone who will stand up to her bullshit and sweep her off her feet; someone who keeps life fun and interesting and is just as impulsively wild as her. She needs a man who can embrace her wild side and not want to tame it, someone who won’t let that pushy side of Leila dominate him and knows exactly how to handle her. She needs Hunter. Yet she’s too damn scared to let him hurt her again.
I get that lump in my throat and think of Jake. I’ll go
out of my way to do anything to make sure we never go
back there.
I’ll never let us drift apart again.
It’s the most heart-breaking thing I’ve ever witnessed.
“Enough about that asshole … Have you heard anything more about that god-awful psycho slut?” Leila blinks at me and I know immediately that she means Marissa. The images that brassy whore conjures up in my head from the dining room experience make me bristle in hate.
“Surprisingly not. She’s been lying low and hiding out since that little scene. Jake keeps expecting some sort of back lash like a refusal to let him see the kid after it’s born or something equally vindictive. He says silence is never good with her and I get the sense he’s on tenterhooks about it.” I try for nonchalant and just sound snooty. Leila grins at me, seeing through my attempts at mature and disconnected.
“Yeah, she’s always been a devious whore with a calculated mind … Watch that one, Emma. She’s got absolutely no scruples; money, looks and entitlement have made for a very deathly spoiled bitch. Barbie with a shotgun and a hunger for blood.”
I laugh at Leila’s description and sigh, lounging back to pick up the last of the grapes we retrieved from the bed. That pang of pain at the mere mention of her. Even though I forgave him I still find myself pondering it all and it can still hurt me when I let it.
“Still no sex?” Leila butts into my morose demeanor. I sigh extra loudly, shaking my head and rolling my eyes in frustration, flopping back against the cushions on the bed beside her feet.
“Jake literally can’t muster up the ability to do it, anytime we get close he just has images of impaling a baby’s head or other such nonsense about guilt or making me miscarry. You know what he’s like about being forthcoming with his insecurities … pretends that he’s got none. He’s completely freaking out about it and no amount of reassurance from the doctor has changed that. He’s treating me like fine china and if I so much as dare to move an inch he’s all over me asking me what I need or if I want to lay down or if I should even be moving around. He’s suffocating me with over protectiveness and to be frank, I feel like strangling him to death.” I let it all out in a gush then grin at the hilarity of it all; it appears playboy Casanova Carrero has done a massive U turn."
