CHAPTER656
She has Arrick’s eyes and his weird flat eyebrows, a little button nose and a tiny puckered mouth as she stares at me with utter bewilderment and probably wonders what she ever did to deserve me as her mother. My heart is fit to bursting, tears running down my cheeks with the sheer elation that she is finally here.
She’s flawless, beautiful, and perfect in every tiny little way.
Arrick strokes her head and leans in to kiss me and then her again, overwhelmed with his own emotion and cradles us both gently. His eyes glued to his little mini me and I laugh at the weird way they both wrinkle their noses at the same time when he bends down to touch his to hers. Like bookends.
He straightens back up as I nuzzle her up under my chin and kiss her little tiny face to absolute death. I have never been so overcome and filled with so much feeling in an instant before and I don’t know what to do with all this sudden happy energy coursing through me. Arrick exhales heavily and it’s the first time since this begun that he seems to visually let go of all that calm and cool.
“It’s okay… She’s okay, you’re okay. We’re all okay.” Arry sounds distant, weirdly drunk and I realize he probably was terrified of the millions of things that could have gone wrong this whole time and this is his relief washing out. No longer needing to be the rock and man to be leant it. He’s letting it out. Looking suddenly rumpled and exhausted, like maybe he needs to lay down.
“You can pass out now. I don’t mind.” I laugh through watery tears as he slides his arm around me and kisses my cheek, temple and forehead in succession. I don’t think he knows how else to display how he is feeling, and I understand, because there’s too much bubbling inside of me to control either. Utter elation oozing from him as the Doctor and nurse mess around, still between my legs. It’s like half my body has been cut off and I don’t care whatever they are doing down there as long as I get to keep her with me like this.
Forever, and ever, and ever.
“I’m good. I’m glad it’s over. You did amazing, baby. I have never been so scared and yet so proud all at once.” He kisses me on the mouth again and then goes for another on our baby’s face. He holds the three of us together in another awkward cuddle and sighs once more. I lean back and blow out all my air, relieving all the pain and terror and all the other crap bundled up inside of me as I realize, it is truly over.
I really did it! Best achievement ever!
“You can cut the cord in a few minutes, Mr. Carrero” the doctor calls to him and he nods and stands staring at our tiny little precious. It’s like he can’t tear his eyes off her now she’s a real living thing between us.
“Hey you, beautiful… You finally came out to meet us. I’m your daddy, the one who kept talking at you while you were inside your mommy keeping warm.” He says softly, and I think I die a little bit inside with how perfect this is. How beautiful they both are. Overcome at the fact this is the first moment of a completely different life for us.
It never crossed my mind before that he would be anything but an amazing dad but watching him gently trace her little fingers as she latches onto his thumb, seeing the insta-love in action, I know he will be suckered by this little one for an eternity. She’s going to be a daddy’s girl; I can just tell.
If Arrick tended to baby me and turn me into a massive Princess, then this one is doomed. I think I may have major competition for his affection now, but at least this is one girl I don’t mind sharing him with. He can love her to death and worship her the way he does me. I know I’ll be doing the same thing.
***
Settled in the bed of my private room with our baby asleep in his arm, Arrick sits beside me on the bed with his free arm around my shoulder as we watch her. My head nestled on his chest and my finger in her little tiny grip. We have sat like this for the last hour, enamored with the little miracle that we created. Perfect in every little miniature detail and I cannot stop inspecting the sheer amazingness of her. I finally get why Jake keeps wanting more. Nothing compares to how it feels right now, sitting here together like this. How much I love her already.
She’s clean now, dressed in a little pink sleepsuit that’s adorned with tiny unicorns and wrapped up snug in a fluffy pink blanket. Arrick did the fatherly duties and got her trussed up in her little outfit for me. He was a total pro, from years of helping with Emma’s kids and looked totally at home maneuvering a frowny faced little lady around to get her cozy in her new clothes. She regarded him with that Arrick look of cool complacency and I think I died a little bit more.
She is definitely a Carrero, through and through.
I’m exhausted and had a little nap when they moved me here, while Arry held our daughter and didn’t want to hand her back. I think he found his new favorite pastime and I might have to wrestle her from him when I want a cuddle too.
“Maybe it’s time we actually finally agree on a name… Seeing as she’s now here.” He smiles down at her and kisses me again on the temple; he’s been doing it every five minutes since I gave birth to her and I can tell he’s ecstatically happy if not also exhausted. It may not have been him pushing out a tiny human, but it’s taken a toll on his emotions just the same. He looks ready to sleep. We’re enjoying this quiet time to relax in my room, and everything feels perfect right now.
“I still like Maisie, or Marie.” I look up at him adoringly with a hushed voice in case I disturb her. Feeding her the first time was awkward and uncomfortable but she fed well enough to drift to sleep and I am savoring these moments of watching how content she is. I’m not sure I like the whole breast-feeding thing yet, but I will see how I go. I know Arrick won’t pressure me if bottles are more my thing.
She really is the picture of Arrick now I can see her with a clear mind and free of gunk and god knows what that mess all over her was. It was kind of disgusting in hindsight and I’m glad Arry’s germaphobe side didn’t actually freak out at that point. It’s like he didn’t see it really and wanted to kiss his new baby."
