CHAPTER428
Until I saunter right past it sat on the side table purposely, with two more steps to my open exit, and throw the whole damn thing right out onto the back patio with a flourish. Turning with a raised brow as we hear the delayed ‘woosh’ of exploding cellophane and scattering flowers on concrete slabs. A sense of soaring elation that I just pretty much delivered a big ‘fuck you’ with minimal effort.
Arrick’s face changes from deadpan calm to utter shock; his eyebrow twitches, trying to conceal disbelief, a confused smile and frown, yet doesn’t know what to say, or how to even react. He just keeps staring at me, bewildered. I guess he probably just wasted a couple of hundred bucks on that empty gesture, and I don’t actually care.
I smile haughtily and raise my brows back at him frostily, before sauntering back to my vanity to continue checking my drawers. Almost a daring him to react. I could use an all-out screaming fight with him to clear some of this inner rage. Completely bristling for an argument to just vent.
“Maybe should have sent them to her after all.” I retort bitchily, and then slam my last drawer when I find them all empty.
“So, flowers are obviously a no-go.” Arrick tries to make light of it, tone casual, even though I know he’s still shaking his head at what I just did, but I ignore him.
“I think the no-go is probably the girlfriend, to be honest.” I snap icily, aware his eyes are followings me as I cross the room. Trying my hardest to block him out and focus on packing.
“You know this isn’t like that. I’m trying to be fair while I figure this out. I am trying to put the things you need first and hoping by the time you start school I will know what the fuck to do. I love both of you, Sophs, so how am I supposed to choose? The outcome is the same. One of you gets hurt by me, no matter what I do, and that kills me.” Arrick bangs into the back of me as I stop; suddenly aware he’s been following me around as I pick up items in my room. He muffles an ouch and steps back as I turn on him. It didn’t hurt, it was just an awkward collision and I shake it off, getting in his face angrily.
“Well, here’s a plan! How about, if you still don’t know by the time I find an apartment, you can kiss me goodbye. Cos I’m not having you fuck with my heart right up until I start school. How about that, Huh?” I shove him out of the way, putting all my strength into it, satisfied when it shifts him back as I march to my wardrobe one last time, yanking open a concealed drawer that holds old trinkets and childhood memories I wanted to keep here. I pull out an old photo of the two of us from Emma’s wedding, years ago, and toss it at him.
Arrick silently watches me in tantrum mode, with that fucking goddamn blank expression, as he scoops to pick it up and turns it over to see his neat scrawl on the back.
Forever x
He gave that to me not long after my sixteenth birthday, in a card about being best friends. He doesn’t understand why I am giving it to him now, judging by the frown on his face and the questioning look he throws me.
“Call it a retraction! You can have forever back. I no longer hold you to it!” I pout, slam the drawer closed aggressively and move to the bed to close the boxes I have left there without looking at him. I ignore him watching me, feeling that hazel focus on my every movement as God knows what goes through his head.
I can tell by the way he’s holding the picture and just regarding me silently that he’s letting it go. He knows I’m still pissed and acting out, and he’s leaving me to simmer and calm down when he probably thinks he will get more sense out of me. That may have worked for teen me, when pissed about something dumb or childish, but this right here, he can go jump out the window after his flowers for all I care.
“I’ll start taking these to the car. Bring down the lighter stuff but leave the heavy ones for me.” Arrick moves away, throwing me another unreadable expression, obviously deciding to let me stew and not make this worse. He makes his way downstairs after lifting the biggest box from the bed.
I bite on my lip, curbing the urge to cry at how this feels, hating that we’re fighting, but hating more that even after kissing me like he did, he still can’t figure out what he wants. My heart is dying. I just want him to love me the way I love him, and this is killing me.
I notice he’s propped my picture back on the small unit by the door when he left, standing there like some sort of weird symbol or answer, maybe.
I have no idea what to make about that at all, blanking it, turning away from it as though it isn’t even there at all."
