CHAPTER309
What was that?
A light flush of color creeps up Sylvana’s face as he leans in to whisper in her ear and her blush intensifies as she looks down at her hands. I’m almost shocked to see such a private intimate moment so publicly shown from him, given that I know he abhors public affection. I start to watch a little too intensely, distracting myself from my inner panic, as she slides a hand from the table down and across his flat stomach. It’s so discreet and slow, disappearing out of sight, and I can only imagine her hand in his lap. I look away quickly, almost embarrassed.
Holy crap. Sexless marriage? I think not! Jake obviously has no clue that his parents are still having sex and naughty sex by the looks of it. I cringe in disgust when I realize Jake takes after his father in more ways than he knows. Ughhh.
Jake has the demonstrative affection of his mother, the public loving nature. But his kinky naughty side is from his father. I wonder, seeing it now, if that cool demeanor and uncaring attitude hides a man with a whole lot more going on in his heart than anyone ever sees, and it dawns on me. I’m more like Giovanni than Jake is!
I have the same outwardly cool persona and reserved side with a cool demeanor and Jake is Sylvana. Jake has brought me out of myself greatly but he’s still the one who always initiates public displays of affection like the hand holding and kissing. I am happy to be pulled along by him, but if he’d been like his father, I would’ve been okay with that too because I’m that way.
I clear my throat and down the glass of fresh fruit juice I’ve been served; trying to push all thoughts of what my in laws to be are doing under the table, trying to cast it very far away from my mind. Sylvana is feigning innocence but her hand hasn’t reappeared, and Giovanni looks more than a little smug right now.
Ewwwww.
I notice Leila is wandering around like a maniac across the currently empty dance floor. She doesn’t look so calm and controlled now, more of the feisty and pissed variety
in her short black dress, she grabs a random man in the most aggressive manner as he approaches her.
What the hell?
The man isn’t very tall, around five-foot eight at most, and sort of stocky with dark brown hair and brown eyes. Leila is hauling him this way, like a dominatrix leading a gimp, and as they approach, I realize this must be Kurt. The gentle features and adoring way he’s gazing at her as she bullies him toward our table says it all. The guy has smitten written all over him and is in no way even attempting to battle down the wild Leila peeking out.
So not good for her at all.
She orders him to sit down, icily, taking the seat next
to his, and slumps in her chair downing three drinks in a
row in the most alarming way. He tries to talk to her
and she totally blanks him, far too intent on waving down the passing waitress for another drink, by holding her empty one in the air. I’m too far across the table to warn her to slow down or throw her any kind of message at all and I have no clue why she’s trying to get so drunk so quick. At least they’ve taken my focus away from the near overwhelming panic attack I was close to.
The waitress is rambling on in my ear about the courses and specials. I’m not even sure if she’s asking me about ordering food or talking to someone else as I home in on the reappearance of Jake across the room. I’m always drawn to that masculine sexiness whenever he enters a room, like a moth to a flame. But then I am pretty sure about a dozen other female sets of eyes do the same thing.
Jake is here, minus Daniel, and looks on edge. His whole manner is uptight, and his hair is a little messy, the tell-tale sign he’s been running his hand through it, and his jacket has been unbuttoned with his tie loosened. He’s disheveled to say the least and not the immaculate guy who was present a couple of minutes ago, he looks a lot like the Jake who came home and told me he’d hurt me, and my heart tightens a lot in response.
He would never do anything like that again. Trust him.
Sylvana snaps around at his approach, guiltily, and immediately jumps up to meet him. She’s saying something under her breath, fixing his bow tie and jacket hurriedly. His hands go to his hair to calm it down, suggesting she’s pointed out that he looks a little less groomed than before, and I can’t help but watch the expression on his face, as he does what he’s told to, with zero argument. He’s completely out of his depth and nothing at all like the Jake Carrero I know and love. His eyes are raking in the faces of the people around the room, as though taking some sort of mental checklist.
My stomach tightens and my hands get clammy again. His behavior is all I need to see to know I’m right about what he has planned. Only one thing could make Jake this scared out of his mind that even his appearance is something he’s oblivious of.
Fuck. He’s really going to do this, isn’t he? He’s going to do this, and they all know! It’s why They’re all here and why she’s fussing over his clothes. It’s not that I don’t want it, it’s just so public and so … Oh my God! It hits me suddenly … Fireworks and a floor show!
His words. His promise. He really is going to do this after all. Tonight. Here!
My insides lurch up in a terrifying need to throw up. I stare down at my cold trembling, clammy hands, and take steady breaths, long, low and calm. Deliberately holding them longer and counting it out.
I won’t run. I won’t freak. I can do this. I have hurt him so many times and it always ended up hurting me as well. I need to relax and trust him on this, go with the flow just like he would. Don’t ruin something so obviously special.
I glance up as he moves to me, catching his eyes instantly, and somehow that small contact changes his demeanor. He grounds me the way he always seems to. Those endless eyes and his handsome face bringing me out of my own head. I seem to be calming him too and he’s returning the favor, if we keep looking at one another then maybe I can get through this without turning into a crazy loon who high tails it out of the door in a ridiculously long dress.
I love him, he’s all I need. His heart is just as fragile as mine, don’t bruise it, Emma.
“Dance with me?” he asks, holding out a trembling hand as he gets to my side. I take one last steadying breath to push it all down as far as I can and try to find my inner bravery. I smile up at him, adoringly, and brace for what is about to happen, resigning to let him take the lead.
You won’t fuck this up, Emma.
He moves against me on the dance floor as the orchestra plays a smooth ballad, soft and romantic, and others join us on the floor. His eyes on mine and even though he’s smiling I can feel his heart beating at a hundred miles an hour through his chest. Jake is nervous and he’s making me even more so. The tension radiating from him is alarming. Even locking eyes is starting to fail, as his inner emotions start to get the better of him, and suddenly I don’t want to let him fall apart. I want to calm him down, so he can do this for us.
“I love you.” I smile at him and lay my head against his chest trying to soothe him without giving the game away. Hoping that I radiate some needed reassurance that I’m here with him, that I’m not running, and that there is no doubt about my answer. I always knew what my answer would be, from the moment I figured this out. It was never about saying no to him because I know I never would.
“I love you, baby … maybe too much.” He smiles at me, and this time as I tilt my face back up to him, I can see it’s genuine. I notice a small squaring of his jaw reminding me that he’s still coiled up like a spring about to erupt.
I catch sight of the outer patio doors in the grand room being opened by waiting staff and lift my head to look, slightly confused. It’s not an overly warm night and it’s not nearly warm enough to open every door wide this way.
Jake takes a loud breath slowly, so close to my ear, and I face back up at him, questioningly. He blows it out over the top of my head and avoids my gaze. His body is hitting an all-time tension high and my heart starts hammering again knowing that it’s close.
Breathe … Don’t freak out."
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