CHAPTER454
I’m seated comfortably in Jake’s jet, Jenny beside me while Christian is sprawled in a seat across the aisle looking completely at home. Jake is talking to him across a table while we wait on Arrick and Nate and my nerves are on edge, sitting tapping my foot restlessly while trying so hard not to keep looking at the open door at the far end of the plane. It has only been minutes, but already I’m restless and antsy, barely able to keep myself in check and having Jenny slap my hands every time I start chewing my nails.
Jake looks my way a couple of times, with fatherly smiles, and I smile emptily back. He was a little cagey when we arrived, I think he expected me to pull him up on Arrick’s appearance and my lack of mentioning it is confusing him. I feel sick with nerves and want this to be over with.
Jake has to know everything; Arrick always confides in him and I tell Emma everything, which pretty much translates to Jake also knowing my side of events. I’ve avoided any sort of alone time to chat with him, other than our lunch dates every two weeks, but he tends to ask me about school and my apartment, and generally helps me with my bills and stuff I should be doing alone.
He asked me about three weeks after Arrick asked me to leave if I wanted to talk about it or wanted to know what Arrick was doing or saying about all of it. I told him I didn’t, and he has left it alone ever since. Right now, he is entertaining Christian and talking fast cars, boxing, and even more fast cars. Something they both have a love of it seems.
I can tell that Chris feels relaxed around him; his camp flamboyant side is clearly on display and I keep getting weird glances from Jake, as though he is trying to assess if I know. It’s one topic I never thought of broaching with him because, well, why would I? He asked me once if Christian and I were close, and I told him I loved him to bits, never dawned on me that he would read anything into that. Until now.
He is most definitely doing the “I wonder if she knows her boyfriend is gay?” look at me. I smirk, realizing despite talking about Chris and Jenny, I have never actually made it clear I wasn’t dating him, and I guess he figured I was. I guess that means Arry thinks I am too, as Jake would probably have mentioned it, although the restaurant would have been enough to tell him so.
Not that I care.
My head almost snaps up when I hear the tell-tale noise of people boarding the plane. Holding my breath, blood draining from my face as I stare at my exposed knees and wish I could sink into oblivion. My heart lurches and my stomach knots, I start inhaling slowly to calm all outward reaction to him boarding. Jenny reaches out, taking my hand in hers and squeezes gently. Reassuringly sweet as always and giving me just what I need. I take another deep breath to calm my outward persona and try to stay unflustered.
“Hey, all.” Nathan is first in, one of Arrick’s most regular companions at all Carrero family functions, He has been to many a Huntsberger party too. He grins at everyone, eyes lingering on Jenny a little longer than appropriate and that little Casanova twinkle tells me he thinks he found his new plaything for the weekend.
I think not! She is far too sweet for the animal in him, he would snap her.
“Hey, asshole.” I scowl my warning and get nothing but that infuriating wink from him which says “game on”. I will literally beat him if he dares mess with my new female bestie. Jenny has a boyfriend, okay maybe she doesn’t seem happy with him, but still. The girl doesn’t need Arrick’s lothario sidekick making moves on her innocent self and messing with her head. Nathan would crush her in so many ways.
He decides he wants to sit opposite us with that and moves to slide in directly in front, moving over towards her side so he leaves Arry a seat facing me. I freeze, the urge to kick Nate so hard it’s undeniable and I inwardly panic. The asshole will be more than aware of what happened with us and I could honestly choke him. I scowl at him, catching that infuriating smile as he slides into the seat in one fluid movement whilst throwing Jenny his “Hi, beautiful” smile, which signals he’s in predator mode.
Nate is handsome, I have to hand it to him, and he’s also tall, muscular, and pretty solid. But I also know he’s a commitment-phobe with a constant hard-on and his bed count is even higher than Jake’s back in his heyday as a man whore! Arrick, at least, used to bed the same bimbo for a couple of weeks before moving on, while Nate is more like a couple of hours. He never backtracks, and he never keeps them around to remember their names.
“Hey.” Says Jenny, blushing furiously as she tries not to react to the overly male hormones sweeping her way and gets a wink from him in return. Jake and Christian nod his way with guy smiles, oblivious to Nate’s schmoozing, and everyone goes back to silently awaiting the last passenger. There’s definite uneasiness in the air and I’m not sure if it’s just me or if everyone seems to be holding their breath while we await the man of the moment. I guess maybe it’s true, everyone in here knows the story between us, and they probably think it’s going to be awkward or seriously explosive. I’m counting on neither. I aim to be mature, act like I don’t give a shit and ignore him to the best of my capabilities.
Arrick hesitates when he boards a minute later, eyes immediately meeting mine. Almost as soon as he ducks in the door, it’s like some weird force that makes us both look at one another and then away as quickly. I’m a completely weak idiot, incapable of not looking when I should have kept my head down. My chest almost explodes with the effort of keeping my heart in place and my hands start to tremble involuntarily. My face tingling with the creep of heat and breathing that is instantly a little labored.
He moves down the aisle towards us as I keep my eyes on the book in my lap that I brought for this exact reason, pick it up and start to thumb the pages in a bid to appear nonchalant about his arrival. I feel like the whole plane is suddenly buzzing with tension and sixth sense tells me, all eyes are on me.
Arrick stops between the two sets of seats, his body heat and heavenly scent too close to be comfortable: we’re on his left, Jake and Christian on his right, giving him limited seating options. Leaning in to give Jake a man half-hug, shake thing, seeing it as an excuse, he slides in beside his brother across the aisle, facing Christian, instead of opposite me.
Thank God.
He sits diagonally across from me instead of directly facing. I let out a tiny sigh of relief, letting out the breath I wasn’t aware I started holding, knowing it will be less traumatic if I don’t have to dodge those sexy hazel eyes or stop myself from starting at that flawless square jawline every time I look up, or occasionally brush one another under the table, seeing as he has long legs, and this is not an overly huge space. My heart flutters a little, although my nerves are in chaos, like I’ve run a marathon with how lightheaded I am. I keep concentrating on outward calm, nonchalant expression and if needs must, the odd impassive gaze if he speaks to me.
“Hey everyone, I’m Arrick … Arry.” He nods towards Jenny; I catch it from the corner of my eye, feel her move as she leans out and I guess he’s offered her a handshake, the gentleman he always is. He greets Christian too, but I keep my eyes glued to the book in a bid to ignore him.
“Hey, Sophs.” His voice hits me in the gut. I know his eyes are on me this time and the familiar way he says my name hurts me more than I expected. I glance up quickly, so as not to draw attention to us and give him a quick half-smile. That soft look and eyes trained on mine make me completely lose all resolve to be cold and distant, fumbling with my book in my lap.
“Hey.” It comes out a little too breathily, completely shaken as heat creeps up my face even further, looking away fast so as not to let him know how much I fucking suck at hating him.
I just want to keep hating him so badly, keep being so crazy mad at him.
Almost gasping at how awful it is on my heart when his eyes meet dead on like that. Today they are greener than brown, and he’s looking at me like he wants to say something. Despite myself, I glance up at him again, catching his eyes locked on me once more before they flicker to Chris across from him and then looks away. I scold myself, shake myself internally and tell myself I need to get a grip on this and stop being so pathetic when it comes to him. I pick up my book, open the pages and stuff my nose inside, trying to get engrossed, and read this trip away.
Breathe, count to ten … Read and ignore. Repeat.
“Seatbelt, Sophs.” Arrick’s soft tone cuts straight through my guise and I look up to see everyone belting up, his eyes on me as he does the same, hurting with the force of a tidal wave and reminding me how many times he would lean over and put mine on. Like a weird habit, or impulse, from years of doing them for me when I was younger. I always had trouble getting them to latch, so he always did it, and then never stopped. I guess he’s feeling it too, being in the same space and not doing it for me for the first time since I ever met him. I guess this will be the first flight, road trip, or whatever, that we haven’t sat side by side while occupying the same space.
I pull on my lap belt, with a tight half-smile his way and try not to let the tingles creeping up from inside hit my face, and show him that he still gets to me on every level. I struggle with the stupid thing, try to get it to clip before Jenny leans over and does it instead, I avoid his eyes, knowing fine well he’s watching and feel like a dumb kid all over again. This is his fault, if he had ever left me to do this alone, then maybe I would have learned by now.
So much for being so mature and having my shit together. Who can’t latch goddamn safety belts? Me, that’s fucking who!
As soon as the plane starts up for take-off and maneuvering on the runway, I go back to my book in a bid to zone them all out and act like I really couldn’t give a rat’s ass if the entire reason for three months of sheer hell is sitting three feet away from me, looking like my dreams. I don’t want to be here anymore. I’m suffocating because he’s here. I’ll never do this again. I would rather get a four-hour sweaty coach trip, than this hell.
Nathan’s already pulled Jenny into a conversation about some movie they both watched recently, and I can hear Jake and Christian talking across the aisle about something mundane. Chris has gone back into “man” mode and seems to be trying to act like he isn’t probably salivating over the two hot Carrero brothers and making like a straight boyfriend. I feel Arrick’s eyes on me every so often, even without looking I know it’s him. No one else has ever made my skin prickle the way he does, and I want him to stop. I don’t even know why, maybe it’s the hair, reverting to clothes I used to wear long ago. Either way, he needs to just leave me alone and look somewhere else. I flick the page and absorb myself in the words on the page before me, in a bid to get into the story and zone out the audience."
