CHAPTER302
Oh, my God it has a built-in vanity and make-up lighting. So weak, Emma … But look at how many shoes I could fit in here.
“More kids? Let me get my head around this one Jake … One right now!” I frown at him sternly, trying very hard to pull my head out of the vast space for lots of clothes and shoes and wonderful accessories. He turns and walks back to me, placing his hands on my shoulders and looks me directly in the eye.
“Do you want this house, Emma?” He’s deadly serious, his intense focus doesn’t falter.
I bite on my lip and look past his numbing gaze, around the room we’re standing in, at the huge four poster bed and modern sleek furniture, plush carpets and heavy drapes framing the most magnificent view I have ever seen. It’s more than a little tempting if I can get my head around how much a house like this would cost.
“I could see you living here, it’s totally your style.” I sigh, trying not to think about the price tag attached to this vast amount of space.
“Could you see you living here?” He nudges me gently with a small half-smile on the corner of his mouth. His face utterly devastating with that twinkle in his eye. He’s going all ‘Charming Carrero’ on me and my knees are already weakening.
God don’t do irresistibly cute right now.
“If it was made a little homelier? Maybe less modern and harsh? I love the view.” I know I’m being evasive, part of me is thumping about like a maniac getting ready to jump into full panic mode.
This is the forever house. The big leap. The ‘letting myself go and fully trusting Jake to take care of things’ house. Letting him go ahead and spend ridiculous amounts of money on ‘our’ house.
I take a slow heavy inhale. He still hasn’t uttered a word. He’s just watching me with his intense green gaze, boring deep down into my soul. My mind whirring and clicking, trying to stay sane; life with Jake is always going to include money. Life with Jake is always going to include trusting him to take control because he doesn’t know who else or how else to be. I just need to learn to give in a little and enjoy that about him. I need to just trust him to always do what is right for us and let him make me happy. I need to relinquish that part of me scared of a new life and just have faith.
“On one condition.” I finally blink at him and resign myself to the fact that I need to be brave for once.
“What’s that?” He smiles softly, eyes glued to my face with a little smug hint of triumph that I’m trying to ignore.
“I choose the décor,” I respond boldly, and he throws me the widest happy grin I’ve ever seen, planting a kiss fully on my mouth in an over eager fashion before picking me up into a crazy round swing.
“Wouldn’t have it any other way, baby.”
* * *
“So, when do you move in?” Leila lounges across the bed in Jake’s old bedroom and takes a grape from the platter of food between us; snacks and sandwiches including lots of fruit, courtesy of Mamma Carrero and her constant care.
Sylvana is the perfect host and she’s been doting over me when the house is empty during the week, when the men are at work or doing whatever the Carrero men do when not glued to their women folk. She enjoys my company and Leila has flown to see me when I finally drummed up the courage to tell her about the baby.
To say she was ecstatic is an understatement and the five-foot teddy bear suspended on helium balloons, in the middle of the bedroom floor over the massive hamper of baby products, was her arriving gift, humped in by two very good-looking men.
It’s been four days since the house viewing and Jake had to go into the city to oversee some business details and deal with the house sale. He’s been gone two days and already it feels like an eternity without him here. Still not able to fly and still getting car sick means Jake has put me on a travel ban for the time being and now I’m stuck here living in his old bedroom in the Carrero family home and twiddling my thumbs in boredom.
“I think Jake’s pushing for a quick sale. He has his lawyers tying things up already and I know the Wilsons were ecstatic about him being interested in the house.” I imagine that Giovanni is applying pressure to his golfing partner to ensure his son seals the deal and according to Arrick, Sylvana having us next door will make her year.
I have given up on contemplating my job and career for the time being but it’s not something I am going to give up on completely just to live the life of a kept woman. I intend to figure that out in time, but for now being pregnant and just enjoying being pampered no longer makes me feel guilty at all. Finally resigning myself to the fact that this lifestyle is a part
of being with him. My phone lights up across the bed and I reach over, grabbing it to me impulsively.
Jake Carrero has sent you an iTunes gift.
I start grinning and Leila shakes her head at me. She knows the face that implies Jake has texted me, obvious glee because I miss him so much and have been acting like a teen girl with a mega crush the last few days. His back to back meetings means he has only been able to text through the day and not call me much at all.
I flick it open, and smile again, unable to conceal my joy and the way my heart gets all warm and gooey and tingly.
Jake Carrero has sent you–Avril Lavigne “I Miss You”.
I chew on my lip as I waiver over whether I should reply with a song which once broke my heart or scroll for a new one. Maybe it’s time to make that song mean something else to us now; take away the pain I feel anytime I hear it on the radio or in passing. I push down the doubt with a slow inhale and send it on its way to him.
You have sent Jake Carrero–Avril Lavigne “When You’re Gone”
Attached message – Erasing the past. Remember? E xx
I stare at the screen of my phone as my ‘gift’ slips away across the inter web to my awaiting love, hoping he remembers it. The special song I once sent in hopes of him figuring out how I felt and instead rejected me, and the words attached are his words at a new beginning so long ago.
Leila is completely immersed in a magazine, while I’m focused on the love of my life, amusing herself while
I’m distracted. Surprisingly patient for such a little firebomb of energy.
My phone flashes with a text and this time it’s a message instead of a song and again I can’t stop that heart fluttering gooey response in me.
I’ll never let you go baby. I’ll never let you walk away either. I would never be stupid enough to ever go down that route again. The past doesn’t matter, only what the future holds. I love you xxx. J"
