CHAPTER502
I rest my skull against the cool chrome wall of the elevator and count the seconds it takes to get back upstairs. It feels like I have been gone for days, not an hour and a half. I want to go back to bed and lie down and sleep. My head aches and the last hour was hell on earth as new students pushed and chatted incessantly in the crowded hall. My feet are killing me and my clothes stink of the crappy perfume that Christian was walking around spraying at everyone to make them give him space. No idea where the boy comes up with this stuff. Apparently, spraying piss like scent around you is a good way to make people leave you alone. All it did was give me a migraine.
The elevator pings open just as my eyes are closing and the sudden smell of food makes my mouth water, reminding me that Arry said he would make me food for when I got back. I glance up expecting to see him across in the kitchen happily playing with his pots and pans. Instead, the apartment is eerily silent, scarily dark like he’s shut all the blackout blinds and closed off all light to make it pitch black. I swallow nervously and hesitate before stepping out.
I wander in warily, seeing the fire is on low and illuminating the living room and he’s placed small candles all around the lounge to give off a romantic ambience; which is so not an Arry thing. Walking forward, my eyes start to adjust as I realize there are more candles dotted around the whole apartment, like small fireflies creating a sense of whimsical coziness and appears strangely small. It makes my heart catch in my throat as I take in how pretty it is, and start to focus more to the dullness of the light.
“Arrick?” I call out warily, not sure if I like this darkness, and hoping he is still here and hasn’t left me to wander around like a weirdo. That would be plain odd, a little cruel too if he has just upped and gone out to leave me wandering in the gloom.
“Here, beautiful.” Arrick appears behind me, giving me a small fright, making me jump as my stomach lurches into my throat. I giggle in stupid relief as his hands slide over my shoulders, removing my jacket and kissing me on the neck from behind. He must have been in the dining area around by the window and tucked out of sight. I nosey around and see the table from this angle, nestled behind the wall and it’s all lit up with more candles and place settings for two with what looks like two boxes on the table. He takes my bag and slides it down my body, hands skimming me lightly then pulls my shoes off by lifting one foot at a time. I wrinkle my nose down at him and obey, touched by his cuteness and so glad to get them off. I adore him so much at this moment, my heart is doing a little butterfly dance and relaxing me internally. Fatigue forgotten and replaced with genuine warmth.
“What’s all this for?” I watch him as he straightens out and comes to face me. Kissing me lightly on the mouth, his face lit by the flickering lights nearby and almost unrecognizable with the shadows cast on us, but his very familiar smell is all around me, intoxicatingly so and soothing me in every way.
“My other girlfriend, you better leave, she’s on her way.” He grins, running his thumb over my cheek and I mock sucker punch him in the abdomen with the back of my hand. He flinches slightly, grinning down at me, still gazing at me lovingly.
“Haha.” I reply flatly. He strokes back my hair and kisses me again, this time more seductively, sucking my lip between his and angling so I can’t do anything except surrender as he teases my mouth open a little, cupping my face with large warm hands. Breaking away after sending my body into tingling mush, he rubs his nose against mine softly, eyes still glued on mine and barely a hair’s breadth apart, so his breath fans my lips.
“Sometimes I forget, Sophie, that underneath that very feisty façade, is a girl who needs a special kind of TLC. I take for granted that you love me when really, I should be making you fall in love with me all over again. I forget that you’re not as tough as you make out.” Arrick wrinkles up his nose at the face I’m making; tears stinging my eyes, that he can be this sweet to me, after how I behaved last night. That he has this kind of romance in him, for a guy who seemed like he would always be too cool and emotionally distant to ever pull this card when he was with Tasha. My stomach aches with the sheer overwhelm and my hands start to tremble involuntarily.
“You don’t need to do this.” I sniff softly as tears catch in my throat. Overcome suddenly as this was the last thing I expected when I was in the elevator coming up here and dead on my feet.
“This is exactly what I should have been doing from day one. You’re not that kid anymore, but you’re still as fragile, still as easy to hurt. I forget that kind of stuff when faced with my strong sassy diva, and last night reminded me how much I should be protecting you from everything and everyone, sometimes even me.” Arrick swallows hard, emotion hitting him too as he takes my hand in his, caresses the area under my thumb with his and lifts it between us, nodding towards the dining area and pulls me towards the table.
“Come on. Told you I would feed you. I know that’s the sure-fire way to get into your heart.” He smiles back at me, a little too suave and confident today and a lot more rested than me. I let him lead me to the table and he pulls my usual chair out for me to sit down, the candles illuminating everything clearly over here and I spy the familiar boxes sat in the middle of the table with a sudden gasp as I settle in and let him slide me back in.
“Nancie’s?” I pull the box forward impulsively and rip it open to be hit with the smell of the most amazing breakfast ever. Disbelief hitting me full force and confusion that these could even get here.
“Blueberry and banana waffles with pecan sauce? How did you get them in the city?” I squeal, sticking my finger straight into that heavenly sauce, and right into my mouth with a grin. Sheer delight running over me and toes curling from that purely divine taste. Arrick has walked around and slid into his seat facing me, pulling his own box towards him.
“I made Jake fly them with him as he was coming to the city anyway, we may need to heat them up, but I got you a shake too.” He smiles at me with unconcealed adoration. “I figured I owed you more than a sorry for last night.” He stands up and leans over the table, avoiding a burning candle, to kiss me on the mouth, looking mighty pleased with himself. Everything seems to swarm at me so suddenly, hitting me with a ten-ton weight of emotion that he really did this for me. Even after last night, after how I reacted and what I did. That he loves me this much.
I break into a sob immediately, unable to contain the sudden rush of emotion at the unexpectedness of it and the heartache hitting me hard, that sometimes I don’t deserve him in any way, shape or form.
“Baby, what is it?” He quickly slides his seat out and comes around the table to kneel beside me, hauling me against him, smoothing back my hair and cradling my face against his throat instantly. I can barely breathe for the gasping cries that have overcome me, hurting my soul and twisting me up inside.
“Don’t ever leave me. Don’t go backwards.” I cry uncontrollably, through howling sobs. Heart shattering, insecurity at an all-time high from everything, tiredness, hangovers. I just feel utterly emotional.
“Mimmo, I’m never going anywhere unless it’s with you. Is this because of last night? I love you more than life, how many times do I need to say it to you. You are all I want. I won’t ever leave you.” Arrick leans me against him, sliding arms around my shoulders and kissing me on the temple, cradling me and rocking me gently. His tone soft and soothing, reminding me of how many times he has held me this way to calm my upset, soothe fears or give me support, and yet all my brain focuses on is the one time in my life that he didn’t.
“You did though, you did leave me. After you said you wouldn’t.” I whimper uncontrollably, tired, unstable and clearly having some sort of hormonal breakdown based on an unexpected romantic overload from the sweetest boyfriend in the world. Technically, this is all his fault for knocking the wind out of my sails with this surprise.
I hate that my insecure scars from before are ruining it right now. Tears blur my vision and break my heart. Arrick catches my face with a hand on each side, molding my cheeks and pulls me to him so I can’t turn away, bringing my forehead to his in the flickering light so that I can make out his eyes on mine.
“I regret that every day, Sophie, even now, because those three months of not being with you killed me. They ripped me apart in every way imaginable, like a constant agony I couldn’t fix. I know I left you alone, baby. I wish I could undo all of it and go back to the beginning and always go with my heart and fuck my head. I hate that I did that to you, that I did this to you, but you have always had me. I would walk to the ends of the earth for you, Sophie, you have to see that. I always would have.” Arrick’s eyes glaze with moisture too, his voice breaking at the sheer intensity of his words, I don’t doubt the regret. I don’t doubt that he really does love me, yet this constant fear that it’s a dream, that his heart is still torn, it lingers like a gnawing knot inside of me every day.
“I don’t want to feel like this anymore.” I sob into his arms, curling myself into him, burying my face against his throat and breathing in the very smell of him; willing him to take it all away. To help me understand why I do feel this way and what’s wrong with me.
“It takes time to forgive someone for hurting you. Especially hurting you the way I did. I know what I’ve done, and I understand that it affects how you feel about us.” Arrick sits up and brings my face to his. Kissing me softly again and brushing my hair back.
“I’m trying.” I mumble ashamedly, as though I am somehow failing him for feeling this way. Know I am. He does everything in his power to make me feel loved and cherished, even when it goes against who he used to be. I’ve never seen Arrick as demonstrative and publicly affectionate with anyone at all like the way he is with me. Not even his own family.
“It’s not up to you to forgive me, baby, it’s up to me to earn it … no matter how long that takes. Come on, leave this for now. I think you need to unwind a little bit, you’re tired and emotional and maybe need to have a little breathing space to get your head together, you have barely had a minute since you woke up.” Arrick pulls me to my feet and pulls me with him towards the bedroom, guiding me surely, through the darkness, making sure I don’t trip on anything as we make our way through the enchanted room."
