CHAPTER52
“I … umm …” This is harder than I thought it would be. I can’t look at him, so I turn my face away from him, looking across the room, trying to find a focus while I find the words. There’s a noise from the couch, and then I’m hauled into his arms, my head pulled against his chest with a warm hand cupping my skull. He envelopes me in a bear hug, and I’m too stunned to react. I stiffen at the alien-ness of it and then slump with relief and accept his touch. Jake’s not mad at me anymore; we’re done fighting.
“I’m sorry,” he breathes into the top of my head, his face buried in my hair. My body completely surrenders to the goodness of his embrace.
My touchy-feely boss!
I’ll have to forgive him again for manhandling me, only this time it’s not that bad; it feels good, and it takes away all the anger and doubts inside of me. It seems to be restoring me to my former self.
“I’m sorry too.” The emotion catches in my throat, my voice breaking with hoarseness, while I revel in the feel of him.
Jake, my boss. Jake, my first real male friend. I don’t want to fight with him this way.
I’ve never been hugged like this by anyone, not even by my mother, and it feels so safe, unfamiliar, yet so right. I close my eyes and allow myself to breathe him in; I wonder if that makes me weird. Freaky Lisa comes to mind.
“I won’t push anymore.” His voice is still soft and warm above my head, and my arms have slid around his waist of their own accord. I’m holding him as tightly as he’s holding me. The realization makes me feel awkward and embarrassed by the intimacy, and I let go. I’m overstepping the mark. He senses my reaction and releases me too. Sheepishly we stand apart, and I’m overcome with shyness.
Crap. This is new.
Like an adolescent, he shoves my shoulder, and I know it’s to cover our awkwardness, so I shove him back.
For a twenty-eight-year-old he sure knows how to revert to fifteen at times.
That gains me a Carrero grin, and I shake my head at him, rolling my eyes, amazed at how easily we can just get over it. It reminds me of how easily Sarah gets over things and I suddenly miss her.
He’s back in playful mode and, for once, it doesn’t irritate me; it relieves me. This is what I need.
“Knew you couldn’t hate me for long, bambina.” He’s still smiling, trying to look convincingly assured, yet failing.
Yeah, of course, you were so confident when I walked in.
I remember his stressed posture and lost look only moments before.
“Hmm, the jury is still out on that,” I answer impassively. I could never hate Jake. He throws me a mock injured look, and I push him harder this time so that he falls back onto the couch with flailing arms and a shocked expression.
Easy there, teen Emma, he’s still your boss.
“Hey, woman! Any more of that and I’ll have to retaliate. I can promise you, my kind of physical exertion will put some color in your cheeks.” He gets up as though he’s going to grab me and I squeal, throwing out my arms toward him and shoving him straight back down with more force than necessary. He falls into the couch and just laughs at me.
“Hey! Gross misconduct, Miss Anderson.” He chucks a scatter cushion up at me, but I dodge it easily and catch it.
“Sue me.” I throw it back with a smile as I walk to grab my cell, groaning at the numerous notifications. I’m a little breathless and a hell of a lot happier.
I push down the thoughts about Mr. Sperm Donor, Ray, and Chicago. Jake says he won’t press me on this issue, and I know he means it; I can relax again. We can relax again. We just need to move on now.
I glance down at my workout clothes and realize I need to get changed; we have actual work to do. I glance at him lounging on the couch, still watching me, and I feel better, lighter. He drives me crazy sometimes but at least Jake isn’t someone who harbors moods or anger for very long. Well, except towards his father. Generally, he has a sunny manner.
The thought makes me smile. Sunny. Never thought I’d associate that word with Jake Carrero.
“Are you going to get changed?” I ask as I skim through my cell, trying now to push us forward. I need to get my laptop open and check that email from Rosalie. She’s texted me informing me there are file attachments, revisions to the Hunter—Carrero contracts Jake has requested that require his immediate attention. I push the last thoughts of Sperm Donor away and get back into PA mode. It’s better this way.
“Nope.” He stretches out on the couch, tossing the cushion in the air casually and watching me from his vantage point; I frown at his casual attire and lack of motivation.
“Well, I’m going to get changed so at least I can feel like I’m ready for work.” I take my cell with me and start to walk back to my room, engrossed in replying to Rosalie’s email.
“Emma?” He halts me in my tracks.
I freeze; a tiny tremor of doubt crosses my mind and I hold my breath. Waiting.
“U-huh?” I try to sound non-committal.
“I’m glad we’re okay. Let’s not fight about that shit again, okay?” His huskiness betrays a slight hint of emotion.
“Okay.” I turn and give him a genuine smile; a warm tide of affection fills my stomach as he throws me a genuine, natural smile in reply. No showy, playful smiles or ‘I’m just so gorgeous’ grins, but genuine relief that we’re friends again, and I return his smile even more so. No one makes me relax like Jake does. Sometimes it’s a curse but, right now, I don’t mind it. It feels okay sometimes to relinquish a little bit of the control, to stop holding everything in, especially when that smile is the reward."
