CHAPTER504
“Try for me, please. I need this, to heal, to feel normal.” the tears well up inside, afraid that he won’t take this further and I really need him to. I need to feel like I can be everything I should be in a normal relationship, to be a normal woman. That I can be to him what he deserves, he needs … despite his reassurance that he doesn’t. I want to show him how much I love and trust him, and I need to do it where words fail me.
Arrick slides his arms around my waist and kisses me on the neck. Pulling me against him so I can feel his body against every inch of mine. That delicious sensation of our naked bodies completely engaged, and it only fuels my longing for more from him.
“Does it feel to you like I don’t want to try?” He smiles against my shoulder and I have to admit there’s a hard wedge up my back, nestled above my butt in a pretty obvious way. I giggle, both nervous suddenly, and because it is unexpected, the humor in something so serious as this.
Arrick turns me slowly to him, moving back a little and putting space between us, yet moving in to kiss me gently. He grazes his nose against mine, hands coming up to cup my face as he leans down to bridge our height difference. He pulls me against him, so my hands go up and around his neck and his kiss deepens passionately, molding to me, moving with me and I let my tongue slide to his to initiate more. I am fully aware of his rock-hard self against my pelvis, I can barely ignore it when it’s that obvious and yes, for a moment, I doubt that I’m equipped for it. As horrid as it is to compare, but my mind does it automatically and abhors myself for it, but he’s obviously well endowed. I wonder that I even managed it once before.
“I want you so badly I can almost taste it, but I don’t want what happened last night to happen again. Ever.” Arrick sounds so torn, looking at me as though he really doesn’t know what to do. I trace his lip with one finger and focus on eyes deeply, still caught in his embrace and completely confident in what I want.
“If you don’t make love to me, I may self-implode. Last night doesn’t mean anything, I don’t want to remember it or see it as a reason for not trying. I want you so badly that my body is turning inside out and we can’t keep going on this way, letting it build up to be something more than it is.” I reply surely, no hint of apprehension as I gaze at him persuasively. That tiny muscle flicker in his jaw, knowing he’s fighting himself and losing his internal battle, as the look of sheer longing overtakes his face. His eyes getting heavy and his gaze moving to my mouth obsessively. I mean it’s probably a good move to get naked to convince your beau to have sex before hitting him with the request. All the scales weighed heavily on my side. I lean up on tiptoes and capture his lips in mine, kiss him with eyes open and focused on his, teasing him with my teeth as he crumbles before my very eyes.
“No one has ever made me so crazy like this that I literally can’t function.” He replies huskily. Losing the air of confusion and I know I’m winning. I may not have his skills of seduction and sex, but I do know my boy and how to get to him in ways that no one else can. Secure in my ability to have him sway to what I want.
I let my fingertips trail up the back of his short hair, scraping my nails gently in his scalp as his hands move down and encircle my waist, pulling me in and up so I’m lifted into him and my feet leave the floor. Feeling his body against mine, the look on his face that tells me this isn’t going to stop. I wrap my arms back around his neck and get lost in a kiss that he started the night before. Groaning as he massages his tongue against mine and parts my lips, so he can devour me freely. The passion I met briefly, back in full control and the side of him I know that dwells deep inside, showing a little face.
We start moving, walking out of the bathroom and into his dark room with a few easy strides. He lays me down on the bed, kissing me, caressing a palm over the full length of my body from collarbone, over breast, down my abdomen, between my thighs so I gasp and arch under his tender touch. Then down one leg, moving away as he turns on a nearby lamp, giving a little illumination and I blink at him with a smile. He sets my body alight with that unexpected trail and a surge of dampness around my secret areas that I know means I’m turned on too. Heightened senses already at play and anticipation turning me into a bundle of hot nerves.
“You like the lights on?” I watch him, wondering if that’s a normal thing for men when it’s consensual, not sure if I want it that way or not and figuring that lights might be a good thing.
“I want you to be able to see me, always. So you know it’s me.” He frowns, reminding me of the first time and what I said to him about not being able to see him. My heart warms unexpectedly, gnawing a little in real love-sick tenderness. He comes to crawl over me on the bed and nestles beside me instead of on top of me, stroking his hands down my body, exploring every curve gently as he does so with careful touch and erupting so many more sensations until my skin goosebumps all over.
“I see you.” I whisper back quietly, smiling at him encouragingly as I do so, my voice almost non-existent and he gives me that beautiful sincere, stomach melting smile that weakens every part of me.
My beautiful, sweet boy.
Pulling my face to him by the chin, he goes back to kissing me gently, slowly at first, easily moving into more intensity, fire spiking as he slowly slides over the top of me fully. He slowly and deliberately maneuvers himself onto my body gently. He uses his knees and hands to cage me before coming down to nestle on me, watching my expression the whole time as though looking for any signs of change. I can feel his apprehension, sense his need to take care of me, over his need to have sex with me and I kiss him for it.
I trace out that sculpted body, legs parting so he can get close and it’s completely different to have him against me naked like this, even though he has been here once before. Somehow being sober changes everything about this.
I’m more aware, it’s more intense, and now instead of feeling like he’s only on top of me to curb an urge, I really feel like he’s joined to me with a need to just love me and be close to me.
His skin is hot and smooth, and he smells like he always does, a mix of body spray, familiar cologne, and his smell. That in itself could seduce me effortlessly; he has no idea how much power he has over me with things that are seemingly nothing to anyone else. He breaks away and rubs his nose against mine, locking onto my eyes seriously once more, the second wave of doubt hitting him like a predictable, typical Arry, as his head brain to take over what his body wants.
“You sure you want this, Sophie? We don’t need to. I don’t need this.” He appraises me carefully, eyes so dark in the shadows he is casting with the light behind him, but I can see every line of his face perfectly. That deep husky voice washing over me like hot liquid and I feel completely relaxed with him.
“I do … I want you. Maybe you should turn your phone off though.” I frown and look away, hating myself instantly for that tiny insecurity coming out like that. Feeling instantly pathetic and hating that I even said it. That even despite everything I am feeling, that would jump in between us to kill everything.
Great way to start a fight and end this all again. You’re an idiot.
“It’s off. Since you texted you were coming home, it’s been off. No interruptions … it’s staying off all day.” He nudges me with his nose and smiles, kissing me on the corner of the mouth to bring me back to him. I turn back, as a small smile breaks over my face, heart restored, insecurity pandered to and just us in a naked clinch, ready to finally take this further. feeling somehow lighter, knowing he even thought about that one tiny detail and he isn’t going to let her come between us this time, not today.
I lean up and kiss him, meeting zero resistance and he follows my head back down to the bed with a kiss that sparks another instant fire inside of me, knowing exactly how to smooch me into complete submission now that he has figured out what works.
I don’t ever want to lose this between us, lose the ability to have him kiss me this way. No one has ever made me feel the way he does with something so basic, so addictive and right. His kisses are my idea of heaven and I could do this all day, every day. He has no idea how much more he can affect me since we added kissing into the mix, gentle intimacy, and caresses. He owns every part of me so effortlessly.
His hands skim my body, gently feeling me out, barely grazing my skin with the softest of touches, igniting a fire across my skin that has me aching almost instantly. I let my fingers trail his carved shoulders, feel out his muscles and his strong neck, angling my body to match his kiss and yet distracted by what his hands are doing to me.
When his hand skims across my thighs and up the inside of my leg slowly, I arch impatiently, eager to get beyond this and have him with me, move past the parts that always get interrupted and just be one. I wriggle into him, trying to urge him to go faster, be less gentle. He breaks the kiss to smile at me.
“You know I can feel what you’re doing.” He laughs softly and catches my lip between his, kissing me by softly sucking it sensually, erupting another bout of crazy strong urges to be doing it already.
“Maybe you should get on with it then.” I smile back, pushing my body to his impatiently.
“Trust me … this will feel a lot better if you let me work you up to it. I need to make sure you’re ready. No cutting corners.” He lowers his head and trails kisses down my throat, silencing me with the sheer pleasure it gives me. His hand finally making its way between my thighs and finding me willing to comply, silencing the protest I was forming about his needing to hurry up. His finger circles me, enticing me to open my legs a little more and then has me squirming and arching my back with whatever it is he does down there that feels so divine.
It feels like he’s circling, easing me open softly and probing gently. The sensation of what he is doing has me moaning and grinding into his hand impulsively, no shame or shyness; arching under his attentive touch and clawing at him desperately. My stomach tingling with the effort and my legs itching to curl up. I start panting as the tip of his finger slides inside of me slowly, not far but enough to almost send me over the edge.
“I’m ready … Just … Arry …” I writhe and moan, unable to contain the building chaos that almost has me begging him, to stop the agonizing torture of drawing this out. My heart is pulsing crazily with need. He chuckles into my ear as he shifts position over me, maneuvering his body between my legs and brings my face to his. He kisses me on the tip of the nose and pulls his hand from between us, bracing himself on the bed over me and looks down between us. Focusing on my face intently, drawing my gaze to his as he slides in against me softly and I know he’s going to do it."
