CHAPTER530
“She went to Miami?” my voice breaks as I stare at him, anger and betrayal ripping across my heart, a deep aching heaviness that hurts so much I can barely breathe and hold my shit together. Tears stinging the backs of my eyes as I struggle to not react.
He always swore he would tell me everything, always did tell me everything, and now here I am finding out he spent all that time in Miami, with her. His ex-girlfriend, who means nothing to him. In all the texts and calls and even when he came home…Never once mentioned it.
“Shit…Sophie …I thought he would have told you. I’m sorry. Nate mentioned it to Jase, and I assumed you knew.” Claire looks distraught and stands up quickly. Suddenly uneasy, looking incredibly guilty and sheepish. “Fuck…. I’m going to go away before I put anymore foot in my mouth and Arry strangles me. I’m sorry, Sophie.” Claire takes off, looking his way, and I realize it’s because he’s coming back to me; Miranda shouting after him as he waves her away looking glacial.
I get up and turn away before he sees the tears threatening to spill down my face and take deep breaths to calm the rage swirling inside of me. Completely devastated and feeling like I did back when he chose Natasha over me, once more. I want to lash out at him, shake him. So consumed by devastation and trying so hard to not fall to bits in this club. My whole body is shaking, and I am so close to lightheaded passing out.
I feel his hands on my waist and pull away from him instinctively, agony slicing through me as he tries to turn me. His touch burning me painfully.
“Hey… Sophs? What’s wrong?” He turns me, but I shrug out of his arms defensively; not wanting his hands on me and refusing to look him in the face. If I let loose, I may self-implode. It’s all bubbling up inside of me like a torrent of anger. So much going on inside me, burning explosively and I shake my head at him, barely containing my outward calm. “Baby? ... What is it? Is it what she said? Because you know that doesn’t mean any……” His face, looking so goddamn honest and endearing makes me snap crazily.
“Why didn’t you tell me she came to Miami with you?” I bawl at him, yanking my hand free as he tries to lasso my wrist. Shoving him away when he tries to catch me and feeling only worse when his sudden falling expression and paling pallor, tells me that it’s true.
“I … Who?... Sophie. I didn’t go with her, it’s not like that. She showed up in the last two days.” Arrick lifts his hands to brush my hair back and I slap him away, fire coursing through my veins. Hating him with a passion that I never thought I would ever feel again. That face that I love so much, right now is the last thing I want near me.
“So now you’re lying to me? Keeping secrets? After everything? Over her? Do you have any fucking idea what that does to me?” the tears break down my face and I swipe them away angrily, glaring at him. Hating that he could make me feel this much pain so easily. Again.
“No… I didn’t lie, I would have told you eventually …. Just not anytime soon while you’re still like this about her. You’re overreacting about this.” Arrick drops his hands and moves away, equally riled, even though he should be groveling and not acting like an asshole. It sets my teeth on edge, biting down to curb the tidal wave of tears behind the surface.
“Like this? Pissed because your ex-girlfriend came and spent two days with you when I wasn’t there?” I spit at him, seeing red, jealousy eating my insides out, and a million stupid things running through my head. I wonder how much time they spent, how far it went and if he did get jealous when she tried to hook up with Nate. So many insecure stupid little thoughts like a floodgate ripping through my brain. He narrows his brows, taking on that icy distant look of emotionless cool.
“Jealous! …Over nothing! I barely saw her Sophie. She showed up… I was busy with interviews and my fight; she got like three minutes, at most, and then Nate fielded her elsewhere and left me to it. I didn’t see her alone at all. You’re being stupid. I don’t need you starting on me too.” Arrick lifts his hands and makes an ‘arghh’ gesture, obviously still bristling from his fight with Miranda and I’m getting the brunt because I’m being ‘difficult.
“I’m being stupid? Yet you’re the one who hid this from me?” I retort, shoving him in the abdomen because I’m fueled with so much rage towards him it’s spewing out in aggression. That inner need to hurt people around me is barely contained and I am trying so hard, aware of eyes nearby and around us, of strangers in this club seeing a little drunk domestic. Self-preservation making me unable to fully react.
“I knew this is how you would be, so I never told you…Sue me for not wanting to fight! For knowing how irrational you get when her name is even mentioned.” Arrick snaps; his tone has deepened angrily, that furrowed Carrero glare that has him looking fierce and his jaw almost angular with rage. Intimidation at its finest yet it’s lost on me. I am so caught in my own pain that there’s nothing but fury.
“You don’t think I have a right to feel insecure about her? That I shouldn’t trust you when it comes to her, because you are clearly incapable of letting her go?” I snap in complete disbelief, tears filling my view and anger searing my heart.
“For fuck sakes…. No! Not when I have spent weeks doing everything I can to make you see that you’re who I want; you’re who I love. I don’t know what else to do…. I can’t stand when you get like this.” His eyes on mine, deathly dark; in the shadows of the club it’s hard to tell the color, but it’s obvious he is as angry at me as I am at him. In his stupid fucked up idiot head, and I can’t believe he feels justified in this.
What planet are you from?
“You’re an asshole. Sometimes I hate you so much.” I push past him to walk away, too angry to stand here with him and bicker, while he can’t see beyond his own nose, can’t see the pain he inflicts on my fragile heart, and he spins too.
“Probably, but you’re fucking unbearable sometimes. Fuck this shit. I’m going to get a drink… I’ll be at the bar with Nate, if you decide to grow up.” Arrick storms off, looking like he would easily go twelve rounds with any idiot who got in his way and disappears into the crowd in the direction of the bar. The tears hit my cheeks and I turn the other way, fighting myself on this and trying to claw up my wall of numbness that died somewhere in the early days of being his. Heading to find a bathroom I will myself to stop myself from falling apart.
I won’t let him hurt me again, not like this. Especially not over her."
